Read Online Don't Dump The Dog by Randy Grim - Free Book Online Page A

Their dog Dopey lives for the moment every day when the leash comes out and they head for the dog park. It gives Dopey’s parents so much pleasure to give him so much pleasure that the three of them can barely contain themselves. As they approach the park, Dopey gets more and more excited, and when he finally sees his friends romping together across the grass, he all but loses his mind with joy. For his parents, there’s nothing quite like bending down, unhooking the leash, and watching Dopey tear across the field toward his buddies, who in turn go nuts with happiness when they see him coming, because for that one little moment of every single day, all seems right in their worlds.
    Then you and Cujo arrive.
    Have you not noticed that everyone leaves when you and your mean dog arrive?
    I know how much you love this dog and want him to be “normal.” If he could just run and play with the others, you’re sure he’d learn to adjust. I know how many books you’ve read and programs you’ve watched and Web sites you’ve scanned, and how many times you’ve tried, really tried to follow the advice, just to watch him fail again and again. After a while, you even get superstitious about it and wonder whether it has something to do with the food you’re feeding him or the feng shui-ness of your house or some weird trajectory of an undiscovered comet zooming through the House of Pluto. Is there lead in his toys? Is his collar too tight? Does it have anything to do with his vaccinations?
    I know your eventual conclusion like I know the palm of my own hand because, after you’ve disinfected his belongings, exorcised your home, hired a dog-behavior coach, put him on a treadmill, and purchased all-natural, made-in-America, freerange, gourmet food, you’ve decided, through a process of elimination, that it must have something to do with you . You are the problem somehow.
    Again: Get over it.
    Unless you’re encouraging him to attack other dogs, it’s not your fault, and no matter how polite he becomes as a result of hot-dog counterconditioning, no matter how sorry you feel for him, no matter how much you want him to have friends and be part of the gang, if a dog is aggressive toward other dogs—for whatever reason, and even if it’s only once in a while—he cannot be trusted around other dogs.
    One of the most frustrating parts of my work comes when I get calls or e-mails from people like Witless Wally who insist that their dogs are, deep down, just like the dogs in the dog park and that if he could only find the solution that keeps eluding him, everything would turn out okay in the end. But it won’t, and it’s one of the hardest realities for people to accept.
    It might be easier, though, if you look at it this way: THEY DON’T WANT YOU IN THE DOG PARK.
    If it helps, think of your dog as “haughty” rather than aggressive—so far superior to Dopey and the like that playing with them doesn’t interest him in the least. The only reason he attacks them is because they’re too dumb to understand.
    Once you accept your dog for who he is, whatever mental gymnastics it takes, it’s simply a matter of adjusting a few things in your life, and my job is done. First, be realistic about your dog and who he is, and love him like your mom is supposed to love you. If you countercondition him with hot dogs as explained earlier and can walk him down the street or through the park or into the vet’s office without any scenes, then you’ve accomplished more than 95 percent of parents with aggressive dogs ever accomplish.
    Second, learn and understand what triggers his aggression, and reject those triggers like handshakes during flu season. Dr. Gupta calls this “avoidance,” and assures me it’s okay as long as it doesn’t involve taxes, oil changes, or relatives. So if dogs in the dog park set him off, you can avoid the dog park and not have your therapist accuse you of having an avoidant/ borderline-mixed-personality