patch of clover, completely ignorant of our secret.
Kathryn was motionless in my arms for some time. The minutes ticked by and evening threatened us. I nudged her gently and helped her to her feet.
As I laced up my shirt, she remained steadfast in thought and fell very quiet. I approached her from behind and rested my arms around her shoulders.
“This love can only flourish if kept secret.” My lips touched the edge of her ear. “Until the time comes, it must be this way. The world is not yet ready for us.”
“I understand,” she replied, her eyes fixated on the nothingness in the distance.
I BRUSHED HER HAIR TO the side and kissed the nape of her neck. She flinched, just as I had predicted she would, and my hands slid across her back until my fingers could take gentle hold of her shoulders. Pressed close to me, I felt her chest rise and fall with a contented sigh, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, placing her palms onto the banister and leaning forward. “Isn’t it?” I imagined the morning light reflecting in the ocean of her eyes as they glistened in awe at the sunrise.
“Never as beautiful as you,” I replied, walking my fingertips across her shoulders and down to the hollow of her throat.
From Kathryn’s bedroom balcony, we could watch the day awaken in peace. The rest of the manor did not stir until just after light and we secretly found time together in the very early hours of morning. We kept our distance and spoke little to one another during the day. This is how it had been for many months, and it would remain so until we could find another way.
My fingers tangled in her necklace chain and I caught the cross charm between my thumb and index finger. She’d had it since I had known her and I knew she had devout faith in it, as I had never seen her without it. Recalling little conviction from childhood, I’d harbored my own doubts about God. With no other defense to support my decision to love Kathryn, I eventually gave in to her beliefs. I needed to believe that someone or something could help us.
“You are my sun, Kathryn,” I continued in a quiet voice, my fingers tracing the thin chain around her neck.
These simple moments were worth the world to us, and I cherished every second of her presence. She had selflessly spoken to me of love many times over the past weeks, but I could do no more than listen. I loved her with all my heart and soul. I would have died for her, and no doubt killed for her, as well. All she had to do was ask and I would obey. Yet, I could not release myself from my final inhibition. I would not seal her fate with my words. She knew this but did not enforce the same restraint upon her own lips. I struggled to bite my tongue when all I desired was to fill her with promises of devotion and happiness.
The future was so very uncertain.
We had discussed many ideas, conjured up a dozen plots and possibilities, but none of them seemed feasible in the end. There was one option—in the very back of my mind—that begged for my attention, but I could not yet bring myself to make the sacrifice it required. Kathryn knew nothing of it, and I would keep it that way until the time was right.
Kathryn had even inquired about marriage, which I knew she longed for more than anything. All I could do was promise and swear myself to remain bound to her regardless of when (and if ) the church would sanctify such a thing. I, too, wanted nothing more than to lawfully call her my wife.
Whatever she wanted with me at this hour, her request that I come to her was beyond reason—and meant nothing good, I was certain . Still, I went to her. I went to her as I always did and always would.
It was deathly quiet and the lanterns outside had been extinguished hours ago, leaving the pathway to the manor pitch black. There was soft golden light resonating from Kathryn’s room. I looked around before reaching
Kathryn was motionless in my arms for some time. The minutes ticked by and evening threatened us. I nudged her gently and helped her to her feet.
As I laced up my shirt, she remained steadfast in thought and fell very quiet. I approached her from behind and rested my arms around her shoulders.
“This love can only flourish if kept secret.” My lips touched the edge of her ear. “Until the time comes, it must be this way. The world is not yet ready for us.”
“I understand,” she replied, her eyes fixated on the nothingness in the distance.
I BRUSHED HER HAIR TO the side and kissed the nape of her neck. She flinched, just as I had predicted she would, and my hands slid across her back until my fingers could take gentle hold of her shoulders. Pressed close to me, I felt her chest rise and fall with a contented sigh, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, placing her palms onto the banister and leaning forward. “Isn’t it?” I imagined the morning light reflecting in the ocean of her eyes as they glistened in awe at the sunrise.
“Never as beautiful as you,” I replied, walking my fingertips across her shoulders and down to the hollow of her throat.
From Kathryn’s bedroom balcony, we could watch the day awaken in peace. The rest of the manor did not stir until just after light and we secretly found time together in the very early hours of morning. We kept our distance and spoke little to one another during the day. This is how it had been for many months, and it would remain so until we could find another way.
My fingers tangled in her necklace chain and I caught the cross charm between my thumb and index finger. She’d had it since I had known her and I knew she had devout faith in it, as I had never seen her without it. Recalling little conviction from childhood, I’d harbored my own doubts about God. With no other defense to support my decision to love Kathryn, I eventually gave in to her beliefs. I needed to believe that someone or something could help us.
“You are my sun, Kathryn,” I continued in a quiet voice, my fingers tracing the thin chain around her neck.
These simple moments were worth the world to us, and I cherished every second of her presence. She had selflessly spoken to me of love many times over the past weeks, but I could do no more than listen. I loved her with all my heart and soul. I would have died for her, and no doubt killed for her, as well. All she had to do was ask and I would obey. Yet, I could not release myself from my final inhibition. I would not seal her fate with my words. She knew this but did not enforce the same restraint upon her own lips. I struggled to bite my tongue when all I desired was to fill her with promises of devotion and happiness.
The future was so very uncertain.
We had discussed many ideas, conjured up a dozen plots and possibilities, but none of them seemed feasible in the end. There was one option—in the very back of my mind—that begged for my attention, but I could not yet bring myself to make the sacrifice it required. Kathryn knew nothing of it, and I would keep it that way until the time was right.
Kathryn had even inquired about marriage, which I knew she longed for more than anything. All I could do was promise and swear myself to remain bound to her regardless of when (and if ) the church would sanctify such a thing. I, too, wanted nothing more than to lawfully call her my wife.
Whatever she wanted with me at this hour, her request that I come to her was beyond reason—and meant nothing good, I was certain . Still, I went to her. I went to her as I always did and always would.
It was deathly quiet and the lanterns outside had been extinguished hours ago, leaving the pathway to the manor pitch black. There was soft golden light resonating from Kathryn’s room. I looked around before reaching
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