That’s how I know she’ll survive after I’m gone.
I’ve taken too long to answer her, and my silence betrays me.
“No way,” she practically shouts, then catches herself, continuing in an angry whisper. “You have got to be kidding me. Women can be vampires, and you knew, and you didn’t tell me?”
“The Vampire Directorate likes to keep it a secret,” I say.
“Secrets, secrets, so many secrets.”
I know there’s something I should say here, something she needs to hear, but I’m too blinded by my own questions. “Was it Sonja?”
“Wait, you even know her name?” She deflates at that. “Yes, the vampire’s name was Sonja. And doesn’t it just suck for me that the person I trust most didn’t even tell me something so ginormous?”
I’m the one she trusts the most? “I didn’t know she was on the island,” I manage, fighting the urge to pull her close.
She’s scowling hard now, and I can see it’s to quell some intense emotion. “So that leaves…let’s see… nobody . There’s nobody else I can trust. I’m alone. Everyone I trusted is dead.” A light enters her eye, and she meets my gaze in earnest. “Do you think I could trust Alcántara? He was in the keep, but it was weird, he—”
“Kenzie,” I blurt, grasping onto anything to interrupt that train of thought. “There’s always Kenzie,” I repeat, recalling her dorm Proctor. “On this island, having friends is dangerous. But allies, they’re a good thing. She could be your ally.”
She scowls. “Spare me the lecture.”
“Just listen.” I can’t have her thinking about Alcántara. “Kenzie is different from the others,” I insist. “I know. I was the one who brought her in.”
She jerks from me. “Why are you always going on about Kenzie?”
My hands are left cold and empty. I clench them into fists. “What?”
“ What what? I mean, what is the big deal with Kenzie?”
I struggle to parse this sudden hostility. “It’s just a sense I get.”
“You’ve told me to trust her before. I don't see what makes you say it. Kenzie, Kenzie, Kenzie. What’s so special about her?”
I smile then, broadly. Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing? Once more, I reach for her. She flinches at first, but I won’t be stopped. I cup her cheeks in my hands, making her face me. “Kenzie and I aren’t close like you and I are, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” she says quickly.
“Good. Because you have no cause to be,” I say. “Kenzie is nothing to me. You are…” Everything , I long to say. You are everything. “She’s nothing to me, but you are. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.” She gives me a smile. It wavers but it’s genuine. I see relief on her face, and it settles something in my heart. “I just said so, didn’t I?”
I’d mentioned Kenzie, and she got jealous. That says something big. Something significant. I carefully set aside the thought to consider when I’m alone.
“Now do you trust me ?” she asks.
I might’ve instantly said yes, but she uses an extra-sweet tone that puts me on guard. “Um, aye?”
She falls into me, curling her fists into the front of my jacket to give a little jiggle, and it just about slays me. “Then please tell me, Ronan. Pleeaase. Why do you have that supercool weapon?”
I can’t get her involved. Slowly, regretfully, I settle my armor back into place. “I have my reasons,” I say in a blank voice.
She isn’t having it. “Mmhmm.” She crosses her arms at her chest. “I’ve told you all my secrets. When will you tell me yours?”
“How’s never work for you?”
A joyful crack of a laugh escapes her, and she slaps a hand over her mouth. “Ronan! A smile and now a joke. I can’t believe it. Did someone come and switch bodies with you?” Her hands are still on my jacket, and she pats my chest.
She’s merely playing, but I stop breathing. No armor is strong enough for this.
But she’s seen what she
I’ve taken too long to answer her, and my silence betrays me.
“No way,” she practically shouts, then catches herself, continuing in an angry whisper. “You have got to be kidding me. Women can be vampires, and you knew, and you didn’t tell me?”
“The Vampire Directorate likes to keep it a secret,” I say.
“Secrets, secrets, so many secrets.”
I know there’s something I should say here, something she needs to hear, but I’m too blinded by my own questions. “Was it Sonja?”
“Wait, you even know her name?” She deflates at that. “Yes, the vampire’s name was Sonja. And doesn’t it just suck for me that the person I trust most didn’t even tell me something so ginormous?”
I’m the one she trusts the most? “I didn’t know she was on the island,” I manage, fighting the urge to pull her close.
She’s scowling hard now, and I can see it’s to quell some intense emotion. “So that leaves…let’s see… nobody . There’s nobody else I can trust. I’m alone. Everyone I trusted is dead.” A light enters her eye, and she meets my gaze in earnest. “Do you think I could trust Alcántara? He was in the keep, but it was weird, he—”
“Kenzie,” I blurt, grasping onto anything to interrupt that train of thought. “There’s always Kenzie,” I repeat, recalling her dorm Proctor. “On this island, having friends is dangerous. But allies, they’re a good thing. She could be your ally.”
She scowls. “Spare me the lecture.”
“Just listen.” I can’t have her thinking about Alcántara. “Kenzie is different from the others,” I insist. “I know. I was the one who brought her in.”
She jerks from me. “Why are you always going on about Kenzie?”
My hands are left cold and empty. I clench them into fists. “What?”
“ What what? I mean, what is the big deal with Kenzie?”
I struggle to parse this sudden hostility. “It’s just a sense I get.”
“You’ve told me to trust her before. I don't see what makes you say it. Kenzie, Kenzie, Kenzie. What’s so special about her?”
I smile then, broadly. Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing? Once more, I reach for her. She flinches at first, but I won’t be stopped. I cup her cheeks in my hands, making her face me. “Kenzie and I aren’t close like you and I are, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” she says quickly.
“Good. Because you have no cause to be,” I say. “Kenzie is nothing to me. You are…” Everything , I long to say. You are everything. “She’s nothing to me, but you are. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.” She gives me a smile. It wavers but it’s genuine. I see relief on her face, and it settles something in my heart. “I just said so, didn’t I?”
I’d mentioned Kenzie, and she got jealous. That says something big. Something significant. I carefully set aside the thought to consider when I’m alone.
“Now do you trust me ?” she asks.
I might’ve instantly said yes, but she uses an extra-sweet tone that puts me on guard. “Um, aye?”
She falls into me, curling her fists into the front of my jacket to give a little jiggle, and it just about slays me. “Then please tell me, Ronan. Pleeaase. Why do you have that supercool weapon?”
I can’t get her involved. Slowly, regretfully, I settle my armor back into place. “I have my reasons,” I say in a blank voice.
She isn’t having it. “Mmhmm.” She crosses her arms at her chest. “I’ve told you all my secrets. When will you tell me yours?”
“How’s never work for you?”
A joyful crack of a laugh escapes her, and she slaps a hand over her mouth. “Ronan! A smile and now a joke. I can’t believe it. Did someone come and switch bodies with you?” Her hands are still on my jacket, and she pats my chest.
She’s merely playing, but I stop breathing. No armor is strong enough for this.
But she’s seen what she
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