does to me. She’s read my expression as only someone who knows me could. She stiffens, too. We each take a small step apart.
“Tell me,” she whispers.
I no longer know what we’re talking about.
And so I address the only thing I know how. Death. “There’s something I have to do.”
“You mean someone you need to kill,” she says, perceptive as always.
“There will be a big change soon.” A member of the Vampire Directorate murdered—it’s unheard of. “A seismic change,” I stress. “Things could get strange for a while.”
“Good thing I’ll have you around,” she says, fishing for a response I can’t give.
What she doesn’t know is there’s a very big chance I won’t be around. To assassinate a vampire that powerful—it’d be a miracle to come out alive. “You must be careful,” is all I tell her.
But she’s heard the unspoken message. I’m in danger.
Everything about her sharpens, hardens, and I get a sense of what it is her opponents face in the ring—what it is the other girls fear. “You’re going to do something.” She looks back the way we came, and even though the path is obscured, the roof of the Arts Pavilion rises above the hedges, its tiles taking on a ghostly glow in the starlight. “In there.” She knows who works in that building. Dagursson is the Arts building.
“True,” I say blandly.
She faces me, her eyes challenging, waiting. But I don’t elaborate.
“Whatever, Ronan.” She turns from me. “If you’re not going to talk to me, I’m heading back.”
I’m losing her. “Ann. Look at me.”
She turns slightly, and I study her profile, trying to read the peculiar expression there.
“Is it that I called you Ann?” I ask. “Do you not like when I call you that?”
“No.” She shrugs, looking pained. “I…actually…I like it. A lot.” She shifts, facing me once more. “What I don’t like is the feeling you’re keeping stuff from me. Like, how can I possibly believe I know you when you’re like a steel vault?”
But she does know me. She sees me as no other person ever has. I realize how lonely I’ve been—how much I’ve needed her, needed the way she just seems to get it, to get me. Perhaps it’s how she got past my defenses. How she found her way into my heart.
But I can’t tell her that, and so I’ll tell her everything else. I want to keep her safe, but she’s too smart to be kept in the dark.
“I fight in secret,” I confess, “against the Directorate.”
“Seriously?” Her eyes go wide, as I knew they would.
I nod. “And I’ve been ordered to kill Dagursson.”
“Tonight?” Her voice catches on the word. “You’re doing that right now?”
As she says it, I know. It won’t happen tonight. Annelise is here now, with me. There would be tomorrow to deal with Dagursson. But how many more tomorrows would I get with her? “Not tonight.”
I play a dangerous game—I suffer no illusions on that count. One day soon will be my last. The time will come when I see her, and it’ll be the last time I do.
Have I already touched her for the last time? I fist my hands tighter to keep my arms fixed like boards at my side.
“I figured something like that was going on,” she says. Her wide-eyed stare has been replaced by the shrewd Ann I know so well.
“You guessed?”
“No, not exactly. I just figured you’re too…too…good to be bad. If that makes any sense.”
I find myself smiling. “I’m good, is it?”
“You know, in a bad way, of course.” Her own smile fades, and she tenses as a truth hits her. “Before I showed up, you were going to go in there and kill Dagursson. You were going in, and you probably wouldn’t have come out, and then I’d never see you again.”
I nod, unable to speak. Her thoughts have mirrored my own, and it knocks me flat.
“Let me help you,” she says in sudden earnest. “We can do this together. We’re a team, Ronan.”
The sentiment is a balm, and yet I give a single
“Tell me,” she whispers.
I no longer know what we’re talking about.
And so I address the only thing I know how. Death. “There’s something I have to do.”
“You mean someone you need to kill,” she says, perceptive as always.
“There will be a big change soon.” A member of the Vampire Directorate murdered—it’s unheard of. “A seismic change,” I stress. “Things could get strange for a while.”
“Good thing I’ll have you around,” she says, fishing for a response I can’t give.
What she doesn’t know is there’s a very big chance I won’t be around. To assassinate a vampire that powerful—it’d be a miracle to come out alive. “You must be careful,” is all I tell her.
But she’s heard the unspoken message. I’m in danger.
Everything about her sharpens, hardens, and I get a sense of what it is her opponents face in the ring—what it is the other girls fear. “You’re going to do something.” She looks back the way we came, and even though the path is obscured, the roof of the Arts Pavilion rises above the hedges, its tiles taking on a ghostly glow in the starlight. “In there.” She knows who works in that building. Dagursson is the Arts building.
“True,” I say blandly.
She faces me, her eyes challenging, waiting. But I don’t elaborate.
“Whatever, Ronan.” She turns from me. “If you’re not going to talk to me, I’m heading back.”
I’m losing her. “Ann. Look at me.”
She turns slightly, and I study her profile, trying to read the peculiar expression there.
“Is it that I called you Ann?” I ask. “Do you not like when I call you that?”
“No.” She shrugs, looking pained. “I…actually…I like it. A lot.” She shifts, facing me once more. “What I don’t like is the feeling you’re keeping stuff from me. Like, how can I possibly believe I know you when you’re like a steel vault?”
But she does know me. She sees me as no other person ever has. I realize how lonely I’ve been—how much I’ve needed her, needed the way she just seems to get it, to get me. Perhaps it’s how she got past my defenses. How she found her way into my heart.
But I can’t tell her that, and so I’ll tell her everything else. I want to keep her safe, but she’s too smart to be kept in the dark.
“I fight in secret,” I confess, “against the Directorate.”
“Seriously?” Her eyes go wide, as I knew they would.
I nod. “And I’ve been ordered to kill Dagursson.”
“Tonight?” Her voice catches on the word. “You’re doing that right now?”
As she says it, I know. It won’t happen tonight. Annelise is here now, with me. There would be tomorrow to deal with Dagursson. But how many more tomorrows would I get with her? “Not tonight.”
I play a dangerous game—I suffer no illusions on that count. One day soon will be my last. The time will come when I see her, and it’ll be the last time I do.
Have I already touched her for the last time? I fist my hands tighter to keep my arms fixed like boards at my side.
“I figured something like that was going on,” she says. Her wide-eyed stare has been replaced by the shrewd Ann I know so well.
“You guessed?”
“No, not exactly. I just figured you’re too…too…good to be bad. If that makes any sense.”
I find myself smiling. “I’m good, is it?”
“You know, in a bad way, of course.” Her own smile fades, and she tenses as a truth hits her. “Before I showed up, you were going to go in there and kill Dagursson. You were going in, and you probably wouldn’t have come out, and then I’d never see you again.”
I nod, unable to speak. Her thoughts have mirrored my own, and it knocks me flat.
“Let me help you,” she says in sudden earnest. “We can do this together. We’re a team, Ronan.”
The sentiment is a balm, and yet I give a single
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