Read Online Almost Like Being in Love by Steve Kluger - Free Book Online

Monday–Friday 8:30a–4:15p

    (The penalty for Xeroxing confidential staff information is swift and merciless—but if they really wanted to enforce the rule, they wouldn’t keep the records room unlocked.)

    Evaluation

    1. Dubuque is practically around the corner from Field of Dreams, and he was born on Valentine’s Day. 'Good.(

    2. He likes Starbucks cappuccino and he wouldn’t let me pay for our cookie. (Very good.)

    3. The first book he ever read was Valley of the Dolls . (Not so good.)

    4. He hates baseball. (Bad.)

    5. He prefers “older men.” 'Ouch!(

    Okay. This is what’s called a 50-50 shot. Either we wind up spending the rest of our lives together or else it ends the way it always does: REAL LIFE vs. THE MOVIES

    Breaking Up in the Movies

    Boy #1: This isn’t working out, is it?

    Boy #2: Sort of not, huh?

    Boy #1: You can’t say we didn’t try.

    Boy #2: We sure did. Besides, we’re still best friends.

    Boy #1: Forever.

    Boy #2: This is terrific pasta.

    Breaking Up for Real

    Boy #1: Are you asleep?

    Boy #2: Does it sound like it?

    Boy #1: I’m sorry about the tuna fish.

    Boy #2: It isn’t the tuna fish! It’s the last six months!

    Boy #1: You’re an asshole.

    Boy #2: Let go of my cock.

    Make that 60-40.

    3

    Craig

    CITY OF SARATOGA SPRINGS POLICE DEPARTMENT

    POLICE REPORT—MINOR CHILD

    Date April 24, 1998

    Page 4
    NAME : Noah Kessler

    SEX : M

    ADDRESS : Unknown

    AGE : 10–11

    Investigating Officer’s Comments

    At 2:26 A.M., we received a radio dispatch advising that the night manager of the downtown Greyhound terminal had reported a small child traveling alone after midnight.

    We found the boy in the waiting room, wearing a Utica Blue Sox backpack, a Utica Blue Sox cap, and a Utica Blue Sox jacket. (After that, the bus ticket to Utica came as no surprise.) He attempted to cover his tracks by claiming that his mother was in the ladies’ room; however, on checking out his story, we located only a cleaning woman and a Franciscan nun. So we brought him down to the station.

    He gave us no information whatsoever, although an ID tag on his GameBoy identified him as Noah Kessler. He cried just once—when he thought we were taking away his bus ticket—and then stated he wanted to speak to his attorney. In fact a call was placed to Craig McKenna, of McKenna & Webb, at an unlisted home telephone on Loughberry Lake.

    McKenna arrived at approximately 3:41 A.M., and the boy was remanded to his custody.

    MCKENNA & WEBB

    A LAW PARTNERSHIP
    118 CONGRESS PARK, SUITE 407
    SARATOGA SPRINGS, NEW YORK 12866

    MEMORANDUM

    TO : Craig McKenna

    FROM : Charleen Webb

    DATE : April 24, 1998

    SUBJECT : Calendar and Other Matters

    Craig:

    1. Judge Costanzo granted the Pioneer Scouts’ motion to dismiss when he found out you were suing them (again) for lighting matches in a state park. His telephonic ruling: “Jesus H. Christ, Charleen! That’s what makes them pioneers!” This is the third time, Craig. What were you expecting—a toaster?

    2. Your mother called from St. Louis. She says to tell you that Alma Colson’s son just opened his own practice. He’s a urologist. She wants you to come home for the holidays and have dinner with him because she’s convinced he’ll sweep you off your feet. What does she think you and Clayton have been up to for the last twelve years?

    3. I have a 2:30 deposition in Lindborg vs. Bluecover, but I need to be out of here by 5:00. If it runs over (and it will—according to Martindale-

    Hubbell, defense counsel hasn’t stopped talking since 1946(, can you cover for me? Derek is taking me to a white-collar crime seminar
    'orchids are obviously optional( on what’s destined to be both our fourth date and our last. Once he’d reenacted his allegedly hilarious moot court trial (he misplaced an interrogatory and Bunny Bixler stepped on a ping pong ball), there was nothing left to talk about. Oh, well. Ex-boyfriends are essentially useless, but at