it. He
leaned in closer.
I pointed, with a little more
energy, and Evan noticed. When he turned to me, I smiled, and tapped my finger
against my chin, like I wasn't up to any mischief. I brushed my hand through my
hair, and mouthed it again, when Evan turned away. Just one simple word: “Go!”
He squinted his eyes even
more, so I finally just leaned back in my chair, pointed at Evan, and kissed my
wrist a few times.
“Ohhh,” Lukas said, finally
getting the hint. He rolled his eyes.
Evan looked up. “Oh, what?”
Lukas dropped his notebook in
his backpack and hooked his pen to his shirt. “Oh, I'm, uhh... I’m pretty burnt
out, I don't know about you guys.”
“Really? But the library
doesn’t close until 11,” I said, pretending like I hadn't just begged him to
leave.
“I think it’s best I get to
bed early, and start again in the morning.” He stood up and gave us both a
wimpy wave. “Talk to you guys later.”
“All right, bye,” I said. I
watched Lukas leave the library. I felt bad, but I hoped he understood.
“Do you have Mr. Hernandez’s
notes about assimilation?” Evan asked. He was so focused. I never saw him like
this, ever.
“Oh, yeah, that’s on a different
page, hold on.” I started flipping through my binder. Those notes were from
March. I found the page, pressed my index finger on the section he was looking
for. “Right there.”
“Oh, awesome.” He pushed his
finger against mine. I didn’t pull away.
I turned my head toward his.
Our cheeks were almost touching. He kept his eyes down on the binder paper,
while I gazed at his face, at the stubble on his chin, at the thickness of his
lips. I paid close attention to my breaths; they got deeper with each exhale.
He still didn't look at me.
He had to know I was staring. How could he not? Was he playing some kind of
game with me? Or was he sincerely focused on his studies?
I had to say something. Had
to burst the awful tension. “You, uhh…” I scooted away from him. “You want a
drink of water or something?”
He still didn’t look at me.
“No, I’m fine, thanks.”
“I’m pretty thirsty. I’ll be
right back.”
I stepped toward the nearest
drinking fountain, but didn’t make it all the way. I found a bookshelf that
blocked me from Evan, and I slammed my back up against it. I shoved my fist
against the closest book, hard, and breathed through my nose a few times. I tried
to calm down. I was shaking, with fear, with love, with an insane desire for
everything Evan.
“But he's taken,” I said.
By my roommate, of all
people.
What the hell was wrong with
me?
Chapter 10
By the time I regained composure,
I realized I was thirsty after all. I took a few sips from the fountain, and
wiped my chin clean.
A sense of dread swept over
me as I headed back to Evan, like when I returned to the table he would be long
gone. But I didn't have to worry; there he was, still flipping through my
pages, still jotting down a flurry of notes.
He scratched his stubble, and
looked up at me. “Hey,” he said, then averted his eyes back to the text.
“Hey.” I sat back down. It
was obvious he wasn’t interested in me. Every time I thought he might have been,
he ignored me enough to make it plain and clear: we’re just friends, dummy .
I grabbed my pen, and starred
all the terms on my list I didn’t know yet. I sighed, quietly, and tried to
focus.
We quizzed each other back
and forth on some definitions, until a woman who appeared as old as the
university itself stopped by our table and said, “Library’s closing.”
Evan helped me pack up, and
we went out a side exit. We were two of the last students to leave the
building.
Outside it was dead quiet,
like Evan and I had all of LMU to ourselves. We turned onto the nearest
sidewalk, and I glanced up at the night sky.
“Huh,” I said. “That's
interesting.”
“What is?”
“Melanie said it was supposed
to rain today. It never did.”
He followed my
leaned in closer.
I pointed, with a little more
energy, and Evan noticed. When he turned to me, I smiled, and tapped my finger
against my chin, like I wasn't up to any mischief. I brushed my hand through my
hair, and mouthed it again, when Evan turned away. Just one simple word: “Go!”
He squinted his eyes even
more, so I finally just leaned back in my chair, pointed at Evan, and kissed my
wrist a few times.
“Ohhh,” Lukas said, finally
getting the hint. He rolled his eyes.
Evan looked up. “Oh, what?”
Lukas dropped his notebook in
his backpack and hooked his pen to his shirt. “Oh, I'm, uhh... I’m pretty burnt
out, I don't know about you guys.”
“Really? But the library
doesn’t close until 11,” I said, pretending like I hadn't just begged him to
leave.
“I think it’s best I get to
bed early, and start again in the morning.” He stood up and gave us both a
wimpy wave. “Talk to you guys later.”
“All right, bye,” I said. I
watched Lukas leave the library. I felt bad, but I hoped he understood.
“Do you have Mr. Hernandez’s
notes about assimilation?” Evan asked. He was so focused. I never saw him like
this, ever.
“Oh, yeah, that’s on a different
page, hold on.” I started flipping through my binder. Those notes were from
March. I found the page, pressed my index finger on the section he was looking
for. “Right there.”
“Oh, awesome.” He pushed his
finger against mine. I didn’t pull away.
I turned my head toward his.
Our cheeks were almost touching. He kept his eyes down on the binder paper,
while I gazed at his face, at the stubble on his chin, at the thickness of his
lips. I paid close attention to my breaths; they got deeper with each exhale.
He still didn't look at me.
He had to know I was staring. How could he not? Was he playing some kind of
game with me? Or was he sincerely focused on his studies?
I had to say something. Had
to burst the awful tension. “You, uhh…” I scooted away from him. “You want a
drink of water or something?”
He still didn’t look at me.
“No, I’m fine, thanks.”
“I’m pretty thirsty. I’ll be
right back.”
I stepped toward the nearest
drinking fountain, but didn’t make it all the way. I found a bookshelf that
blocked me from Evan, and I slammed my back up against it. I shoved my fist
against the closest book, hard, and breathed through my nose a few times. I tried
to calm down. I was shaking, with fear, with love, with an insane desire for
everything Evan.
“But he's taken,” I said.
By my roommate, of all
people.
What the hell was wrong with
me?
Chapter 10
By the time I regained composure,
I realized I was thirsty after all. I took a few sips from the fountain, and
wiped my chin clean.
A sense of dread swept over
me as I headed back to Evan, like when I returned to the table he would be long
gone. But I didn't have to worry; there he was, still flipping through my
pages, still jotting down a flurry of notes.
He scratched his stubble, and
looked up at me. “Hey,” he said, then averted his eyes back to the text.
“Hey.” I sat back down. It
was obvious he wasn’t interested in me. Every time I thought he might have been,
he ignored me enough to make it plain and clear: we’re just friends, dummy .
I grabbed my pen, and starred
all the terms on my list I didn’t know yet. I sighed, quietly, and tried to
focus.
We quizzed each other back
and forth on some definitions, until a woman who appeared as old as the
university itself stopped by our table and said, “Library’s closing.”
Evan helped me pack up, and
we went out a side exit. We were two of the last students to leave the
building.
Outside it was dead quiet,
like Evan and I had all of LMU to ourselves. We turned onto the nearest
sidewalk, and I glanced up at the night sky.
“Huh,” I said. “That's
interesting.”
“What is?”
“Melanie said it was supposed
to rain today. It never did.”
He followed my
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