I
said, instead. “Isn’t that to be expected, though? You’ve been dating a year,
that's a long time! You’re gonna have your highs and lows eventually, right?”
“Yeah. I guess. But... I
don't know. I’m not even sure if she remembers our anniversary's coming up.”
I debated not telling him,
but I knew I had to. “She did,” I said. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
“How do you know?”
“I live with her, Evan. I
just do.”
He pounded his arms together
like they were battering rams. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m dumping all
this on you.”
“You’re not. It’s fine.” More
silence. One question had been brewing, for a minute, at least. Not the one
about the sex; this was the most important question of all. “Do you…” I
hesitated.
“What?”
“Do you still love her?”
He hesitated, too, even
longer than I did. “I don’t know.”
And then he stopped. At first
I didn’t know why, but then I glanced over my right shoulder, to see the
entrance to McCarthy Hall.
“Oh,” I said. “Here we are.”
“Here we are,” he repeated.
We stood behind a pair of
palm trees, which hid us from the main path, and any potential students walking
by. We were not just hidden, though; we were totally alone.
It was my cue to walk over to
the main door and head inside, but my feet didn’t budge. I really, really
didn’t want this night to end.
“So did you want to meet up
again tomorrow and do some studying, or…” My words trailed off, when Evan took
my hand. He stepped closer to me.
“Your hand is so cold,” he said.
I stared at his neck for a
moment—that’s where my eye level was. I was afraid to look up. I was
terrified, and crazy fucking excited. I breathed in, through my nose. He
smelled of cinnamon, of fresh-baked snickerdoodle cookies.
“I must be cold blooded,” I
said, and finally gazed into his eyes.
He smiled, and brought both
his hands up to my shoulders.
“Evan?” I turned away. “What
are you doing?”
He leaned his head down and
brushed his lips against my cheek. His mouth hovered over my ear. “Don’t tell
me you’ve never thought about it.” Then he kissed me, lightly, on my neck.
My knees buckled. If Evan hadn't
been pushed up so close to me, I would have collapsed to the ground.
“Oh my God… Evan .”
He wrapped his arm around my
back, and pulled me even closer.
I wanted this. I wanted this
so much. I’d been dreaming about it since the moment I first laid eyes on him, way
back in English 101, freshman year.
But it didn't feel right. Not
with my roommate still in the picture. Not with their anniversary just days away.
I wanted Evan completely, but not like this.
He stared into my eyes. Touched
his fingers against my chest.
“Evan…” I said.
He smiled, and moved his lips
toward mine. “Sydney…”
I pulled away. A small raindrop
touched the top of my head. “Whoa, what?” I looked up. "Did you just feel
that?”
“Huh? Feel what?”
“I think it’s…” I didn’t even
have to finish my sentence. The rain started coming down hard, and fast.
“Oh crap ,” Evan said.
“Run!” I shouted, and we both
raced around the trees, over to the front of McCarthy Hall.
The rain pelted the ground so
hard that by the time I found cover under the canopy, I was drenched with rain
from head to toe. Evan joined me at my side, just as soaked as I was. I pointed
at him, and we both started laughing.
“I guess Melanie was right,
after all,” I said.
He nodded, as he patted his
hands against his ruined jacket and jeans. “Yeah, I guess she was.” He reached
his hand toward mine again, but he didn’t try to touch it. He had to know as
well as I did that our little moment had passed.
“Did you…” Evan started.
“Did I what?”
He bit down on his lower lip,
like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask it. “Did you want me to walk you
to your room?”
I sighed. Of course I
said, instead. “Isn’t that to be expected, though? You’ve been dating a year,
that's a long time! You’re gonna have your highs and lows eventually, right?”
“Yeah. I guess. But... I
don't know. I’m not even sure if she remembers our anniversary's coming up.”
I debated not telling him,
but I knew I had to. “She did,” I said. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
“How do you know?”
“I live with her, Evan. I
just do.”
He pounded his arms together
like they were battering rams. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m dumping all
this on you.”
“You’re not. It’s fine.” More
silence. One question had been brewing, for a minute, at least. Not the one
about the sex; this was the most important question of all. “Do you…” I
hesitated.
“What?”
“Do you still love her?”
He hesitated, too, even
longer than I did. “I don’t know.”
And then he stopped. At first
I didn’t know why, but then I glanced over my right shoulder, to see the
entrance to McCarthy Hall.
“Oh,” I said. “Here we are.”
“Here we are,” he repeated.
We stood behind a pair of
palm trees, which hid us from the main path, and any potential students walking
by. We were not just hidden, though; we were totally alone.
It was my cue to walk over to
the main door and head inside, but my feet didn’t budge. I really, really
didn’t want this night to end.
“So did you want to meet up
again tomorrow and do some studying, or…” My words trailed off, when Evan took
my hand. He stepped closer to me.
“Your hand is so cold,” he said.
I stared at his neck for a
moment—that’s where my eye level was. I was afraid to look up. I was
terrified, and crazy fucking excited. I breathed in, through my nose. He
smelled of cinnamon, of fresh-baked snickerdoodle cookies.
“I must be cold blooded,” I
said, and finally gazed into his eyes.
He smiled, and brought both
his hands up to my shoulders.
“Evan?” I turned away. “What
are you doing?”
He leaned his head down and
brushed his lips against my cheek. His mouth hovered over my ear. “Don’t tell
me you’ve never thought about it.” Then he kissed me, lightly, on my neck.
My knees buckled. If Evan hadn't
been pushed up so close to me, I would have collapsed to the ground.
“Oh my God… Evan .”
He wrapped his arm around my
back, and pulled me even closer.
I wanted this. I wanted this
so much. I’d been dreaming about it since the moment I first laid eyes on him, way
back in English 101, freshman year.
But it didn't feel right. Not
with my roommate still in the picture. Not with their anniversary just days away.
I wanted Evan completely, but not like this.
He stared into my eyes. Touched
his fingers against my chest.
“Evan…” I said.
He smiled, and moved his lips
toward mine. “Sydney…”
I pulled away. A small raindrop
touched the top of my head. “Whoa, what?” I looked up. "Did you just feel
that?”
“Huh? Feel what?”
“I think it’s…” I didn’t even
have to finish my sentence. The rain started coming down hard, and fast.
“Oh crap ,” Evan said.
“Run!” I shouted, and we both
raced around the trees, over to the front of McCarthy Hall.
The rain pelted the ground so
hard that by the time I found cover under the canopy, I was drenched with rain
from head to toe. Evan joined me at my side, just as soaked as I was. I pointed
at him, and we both started laughing.
“I guess Melanie was right,
after all,” I said.
He nodded, as he patted his
hands against his ruined jacket and jeans. “Yeah, I guess she was.” He reached
his hand toward mine again, but he didn’t try to touch it. He had to know as
well as I did that our little moment had passed.
“Did you…” Evan started.
“Did I what?”
He bit down on his lower lip,
like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask it. “Did you want me to walk you
to your room?”
I sighed. Of course I
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