Read Online Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love and Sex: A Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy by Robert Bryndza - Free Book Online

from one woman to the next and let them take care of you. You went from your mother, to me, back to your mother via a few skanks, and now Jennifer with her house in Hampstead and trust fund.’
    ‘Leave it out Coco.’
    ‘No. You tell me this baby won’t be happy, but I’ve already cared for two children, Rosencrantz and YOU.’
    We sat in silence eyeballing each other. Then Daniel said he was going for another drink. I watched him walk off to the bar. I remember Chris constantly telling me that I was the enabler in Daniel’s and my relationship. I thought it was fancy chat from his therapist. It was a revelation to finally understand.  
    ‘Have you got two quid?’ asked Daniel popping his head back from the bar. I gave him a look. ‘What? I’ve only got fifty six pence on me…’  
    ‘Daniel,’ I said. ‘You need to realise something. We are divorced. You cheated on me and left me. Things aren’t the same anymore.’
    He stared at me. ‘Okay. But have you got the two quid? Come on you can afford it.’ he looked back at the waitress decorating the top of his Guinness with a four leaf clover, she grinned at him.
    ‘I can, but I’m not giving it to you.’
    ‘Come on Cokes,’ he said doing his cheeky little smile.
    ‘I’m not your enabler.’
    ‘Oh enabler . Did Chris pull that out of his arse again?’
    ‘Let me put it another way. This whole cheeky little Peter Pan act was fun in your twenties, you even got away with it in the early part of your thirties.’
    I watched the waitress waiting for Daniel, and she looked like she wanted to give him more than a pint. He nodded at her and pulled a face.
    ‘I’d say you’ve got a couple of years left of being the sexy older man before you’re in Roger Moore territory with no chance of a James Bond pickup.’
    Daniel looked shocked.
    ‘Now I say this with love. Get a life.’ I picked up my handbag and left him owing two quid to the horny waitress.  

    Friday 3rd February

    We ordered in pizza tonight, to celebrate having told everyone that I was pregnant. I was just thinking that everything would be perfect if Rosencrantz was here, when the doorbell rang. He was standing outside in the snow with Oscar.
    ‘Peace offering?’ he said holding up a present wrapped in a bow. They came through to the kitchen, and Adam grabbed some extra plates and glasses from the cupboard.
    ‘I want to say sorry to you both,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘I was just a bit shocked. You’re gonna be the most amazing parents.’
    He gave me a big hug.
    ‘ And I get to have a baby sister… or a brother?’
    ‘We won’t know for a while,’ said Adam hugging him.
    ‘Congratulations Mrs P, and Mr R,’ said Oscar hugging me and shaking Adam’s hand. ‘Or are you now Mrs R ?’
    ‘Um, bone of contention Oscar,’ said Adam pouring us all some wine.
    ‘Well, my professional name is Coco Pinchard,’ I said. ‘I think it would cause complications…’
    ‘You can have both, Mum,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘Or you could go double-barrelled! If Oscar and I get married, we could be Pinchard-North or North-Pinchard.’  
    There was silence. Oscar cleared his throat nervously.  
    ‘Although I think Oscar wants to keep his name,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘He’s getting far more acting work than I am. He’ll probably be hugely famous before the end of the year.’  
    ‘You’ll get work,’ said Oscar kindly.
    ‘Well my agent seems to think I should shape up,’ said Rosencrantz pouring himself some more wine.
    ‘He just suggested you go to the gym and bulk up a bit,’ said Oscar.  
    ‘I’m naturally slim,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘We can’t all be muscle men like you.’
    ‘Well you’re not going to get fit pouring another glass of wine, and I’m not dealing with you sloshed again,’ said Oscar.
    There was another awkward silence.
    ‘Well, look, congratulations to you both,’ I said hugging Rosencrantz. ‘On being a couple.’ Oscar grinned back. He has the cutest