need to have facial surgery. I remember him saying my physical features need to change because I don't want to be the ugliest woman in Northumberland County. That's when it hit me that this was real, it's really real. My concern was for Sheelagh down the road, I read the information you gave me and I know how isolated transpeople are because they're usually left bereft by their families. My biggest concern was for you as my sister, and as long as you weren't hurt then it was okay, but as much as I love Sheelagh you're still my first concern. My loyalties lie with you over top of Sheelagh, they lie with both of you because you're my family, but you come first.
ME: I get that, it must have felt weird.
SISSY: It was, and added to that was the concern for Caitlin, because she was genuinely upset.
ME: That's right. She had known Steve for over a decade as Steve so it was a shock, but with time she was able to accept everything. When did I give the two of you the information about transpeople, was it before this discussion?
SISSY: Yes so that I would understand what you both were going through because I really didn't have an understanding. I knew that some people felt they were in the wrong body but I didn't understand the psychology behind it and I need to know about things.
ME: It's been a few years now, a lot of water has gone under the bridge.
SISSY: Yes but I was so appreciative of that book. It was called “Transgender Explained” and it helped to put everything into perspective.
ME: It helped me too!
SISSY: Yeah.
ME: So now it was real and you knew I was staying?
SISSY: Then we just got on with it because I love Sheelagh and I wanted to be as supportive as I could be and so was Peeter.
ME: Don't you find it's surreal - stuff that happens to other people.
SISSY: It is, it's quite something to be part of such a life changing experience. It's enlightening and has enriched my life to have that kind of understanding and to see things through Sheelagh’s eyes and through yours.
ME: Do you remember when I decided we finally had to tell mom and I didn't want to go there alone and you said you'd come with me.
SISSY: Oh yes, but she didn't even bat an eyelash.
ME: I know, here she was being nearly ninety-one years old and we explained it to her and she got it.
SISSY: I remember you were shaking like a leaf.
ME: Well, yeah - I thought I was going to give her a heart attack or something. I said that Stephen was gone and has now become Sheelagh, and she said you're not getting a divorce are you and I said no.
SISSY: That's when she said well good then.
ME: I know! That's when I thought alright we're probably going to be okay here.
SISSY: She would ask me every now and then is your sister happy, is she okay and I'd say yes and she'd say that's alright then. Is Sheelagh happy and I said yes, and she said what more could you ask for. She was happy for you both.
ME: She was amazing. I just remember her being totally accepting and me looking at you, and you looking at me.
SISSY: We both had stunned expressions on our faces.
ME: She just said if that's what has to be done, and that's what makes her feel better, then she has to do it.
SISSY: So be it.
ME: Yeah - the one person I thought would have a problem with it, even though I hoped she wouldn't, ended up being just perfect. Mom never got to meet Sheelagh except through photos, yet she always put the right name on birthday cards and things.
SISSY: Yes, she deserves a lot of credit.
Sheelagh wrote the most amazing letter to the rest of my family - namely my brother and three nephews and their families. I have enclosed it for those of you who can't quite grasp why your loved one is doing this to you and your family, as well as for those who are curious as to one way of conveying your feelings to your loved ones.
The Letter
I am writing this letter to
ME: I get that, it must have felt weird.
SISSY: It was, and added to that was the concern for Caitlin, because she was genuinely upset.
ME: That's right. She had known Steve for over a decade as Steve so it was a shock, but with time she was able to accept everything. When did I give the two of you the information about transpeople, was it before this discussion?
SISSY: Yes so that I would understand what you both were going through because I really didn't have an understanding. I knew that some people felt they were in the wrong body but I didn't understand the psychology behind it and I need to know about things.
ME: It's been a few years now, a lot of water has gone under the bridge.
SISSY: Yes but I was so appreciative of that book. It was called “Transgender Explained” and it helped to put everything into perspective.
ME: It helped me too!
SISSY: Yeah.
ME: So now it was real and you knew I was staying?
SISSY: Then we just got on with it because I love Sheelagh and I wanted to be as supportive as I could be and so was Peeter.
ME: Don't you find it's surreal - stuff that happens to other people.
SISSY: It is, it's quite something to be part of such a life changing experience. It's enlightening and has enriched my life to have that kind of understanding and to see things through Sheelagh’s eyes and through yours.
ME: Do you remember when I decided we finally had to tell mom and I didn't want to go there alone and you said you'd come with me.
SISSY: Oh yes, but she didn't even bat an eyelash.
ME: I know, here she was being nearly ninety-one years old and we explained it to her and she got it.
SISSY: I remember you were shaking like a leaf.
ME: Well, yeah - I thought I was going to give her a heart attack or something. I said that Stephen was gone and has now become Sheelagh, and she said you're not getting a divorce are you and I said no.
SISSY: That's when she said well good then.
ME: I know! That's when I thought alright we're probably going to be okay here.
SISSY: She would ask me every now and then is your sister happy, is she okay and I'd say yes and she'd say that's alright then. Is Sheelagh happy and I said yes, and she said what more could you ask for. She was happy for you both.
ME: She was amazing. I just remember her being totally accepting and me looking at you, and you looking at me.
SISSY: We both had stunned expressions on our faces.
ME: She just said if that's what has to be done, and that's what makes her feel better, then she has to do it.
SISSY: So be it.
ME: Yeah - the one person I thought would have a problem with it, even though I hoped she wouldn't, ended up being just perfect. Mom never got to meet Sheelagh except through photos, yet she always put the right name on birthday cards and things.
SISSY: Yes, she deserves a lot of credit.
Sheelagh wrote the most amazing letter to the rest of my family - namely my brother and three nephews and their families. I have enclosed it for those of you who can't quite grasp why your loved one is doing this to you and your family, as well as for those who are curious as to one way of conveying your feelings to your loved ones.
The Letter
I am writing this letter to
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