Read Online Caught in Transition by Virginia May - Free Book Online Page B

dysphoria would always flit through my mind, but I always denied it. I felt if I acknowledged it, then my battle to avoid the treatment for it would be lost. I realized that while I had established meaningful friendships, I could never really be myself. I also realized I was increasingly questioning who I really was. I did not want to impose a miserable life upon my family, so I started therapy with the hope to achieve balance. However, after a long process, and a year of talks with Virgi, the only viable choice ahead of me was to recognize the truth, be brave and again seek medical help so I could live the rest of my life as a woman. For what it is worth, most people ’ s reaction to my news have been remarkable in compassion, understanding and support.  

    Over a year ago, I started seeking medical help. After a careful and detailed screening, I have been accepted to enter a very strict, internationally agreed standard of medical care. I am now followed by a team of doctors, comprising expertise from various disciplines. I was placed under Contra-Hormone Therapy in May 2011, and have now entered a so - called “ real-life ” stage.  

    Last month I completed Facial Feminization Surgery that removed the genetic traits of a male from my face. For some time now I have been living two lives. At work, I was known as Stephen or Steve, but to my friends, my closest family and almost everywhere else, I am a woman known as Sheelagh ( “ Sheila ” ). In preparation for the real-life phase, I have legally changed my name to Sheelagh Tara May. Similarly, all my registrations at where I work (phone, email, badge, etc) will be eventually changed to Sheelagh May. Since I have legally changed my first name to Sheelagh, it is courteous to now refer to me by that name. It is also courteous to now refer to me as ‘ she ’ rather than ‘ he ’ . I know this is going to be hard for you to adjust to, even with the best will. I know there will be an adjustment period where you will unconsciously use he, him or even Stephen instead of she, her or Sheelagh. I will be patient, and in fact do understand. Do not worry about it. I am still the same person, and I hope you will continue to relate to me like you have in the past.  

    I want to assure you that I will still be the person you have known for the past thirteen years. It is important for me that you understand I did not play a character when I interacted with you during all these years. I had just muted certain aspects for what I hope to be now obvious reasons. I hope you will find no difference in your dealings with me in my new appearance.  

    With luck, this will all be short wonder, and eventually new perceptions will overlay the image of the person I was, and life will go on. I am currently trying to address all the people who need to know before the end of this month. It is not my intention to either embarrass or upset my friends and family, although I am realistic enough to know that I will not be readily accepted by everyone and that some may have difficulty accepting me. I will respect this right, but know that I am not interested in engaging in futile arguments if you strongly disapprove of what I ’ m doing. I ask for your tolerance, and, if you can supply it, a continuation of your friendship.  

    So, what if you have other questions? I am prepared to talk with you. If you don ’ t feel comfortable talking with me, I ’ ve listed some books, articles, websites and movies I feel deal with the subject in a good way. You should be able to find these easily. Please also feel free to contact me or Virgi if you feel this will help our relationship in the future.  

    Communication seldom does any harm. I am very flexible and open to suggestions that minimize difficulties and awkward situations. I acknowledge that it may be difficult for you and I am eager to help things go smoothly. With Love, Sheelagh (formerly Stephen).

    After I saw the letter I was so proud of Sheelagh