door open to my room and stumbling to the bed we were almost there, he pushed my halter down and rubbed his hands across my chest I all but screamed at the tightness I felt, about to physically connect and Cam groans not the sweet want you on my body groan but he FUCK ME IVE SCREWED UP GROAN. “LEXI BABY please don’t be mad I don’t have a condom I totally forgot, I haven’t needed one so it never even crossed my mind, DAMN IT ” his whole body slumps forward as he lets his head fall into my chest. As he sat there looking at the floor I could not help but think BABY JESUS it isn’t meant to be. Well that is my sign to tell Cam something I had never told anyone albeit Dr Alpine, my parents who in turn told Val and Gus. The only time the story was told in whole was when I had to explain it to the NYPD back before my parents passed away. I wanted Cam but he needed to understand what I was, he needed to know before we made this move because once it was made and we moved forward it meant a life change for us both. I refuse to live without him, if he chooses to walk away from me, I’m not sure what I will do. And after the story I am about to lay on him I wouldn’t blame him. Who wants a broken disaster, someone who can never be whole again? However Cam was filling that emptiness in me, I’m just not sure if it could last. I have to tell him I have to give him a chance to run, to see me for who and what I am, I need to know if he stays he understands the depth of my fucked upness. He has to know I am worthless, unworthy of his love and that I alone killed my parents, which is why I run the company without complaint even thou I hate it dearly. I hate the life I live and the bull that goes with it. I want to stay with Cam and live where I am just a normal HOT but normal girl walking the mall, getting my nails done, and maybe oh maybe in my messed up head I can be the girl who gets to finish what she started and actually sell my designs to the stars ANON of course I’d hate to live in that light again. YEA RIGHT now I am dreaming… where’s Channing Tatum in this dream damn it!!!
Well here goes…
Chapter Nine
“Cam I need to talk to you anyways, if we are going to do this, and I hope we do, there are some dark parts of my past I want you to be aware of. You need to know me and what I am capable of doing. I don’t want any secrets so I need to tell you now while I have the nerve” I set here on a big not so comfy bed half naked my hair and makeup a mess. “Cam my parents died in their plane ride home from New York My freshman year of college, I was in college in NY at 17 because I worked my ass off in high school and graduated early so I could start my dream of designing amazing clothes. The dresses I wear are mine. I design and sew them each to fit me the way I want I never tell anyone where I get them so I don’t have to answer questions. Anyway back to the point of this story. When I left for NY there was a big party for me and I had always been told one day I would be as beautiful as my mother, the party was much of the same except now it was all “we were right she has turned into a carbon copy of her mother beautiful from the toes to her nose but those eyes set her apart” well I get to college and everything is great. I go wild of course like most girls do I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend or 3 but it was all in fun I just wanted to experience life but at 17 I had trouble getting into clubs like the rest of them, so more and more I found myself attending parties and after parties with the others at school. One of the guys I had become close to was big into baseball and was trying to get into the minor leagues with a few other buddies from a JC close by. It started out as a fun party, lots of people around as the hours went on most people had left, including my buddy, I was plastered and couldn’t hardly stand. I had been dancing with everyone and kissing anyone who wanted to kiss. It
Well here goes…
Chapter Nine
“Cam I need to talk to you anyways, if we are going to do this, and I hope we do, there are some dark parts of my past I want you to be aware of. You need to know me and what I am capable of doing. I don’t want any secrets so I need to tell you now while I have the nerve” I set here on a big not so comfy bed half naked my hair and makeup a mess. “Cam my parents died in their plane ride home from New York My freshman year of college, I was in college in NY at 17 because I worked my ass off in high school and graduated early so I could start my dream of designing amazing clothes. The dresses I wear are mine. I design and sew them each to fit me the way I want I never tell anyone where I get them so I don’t have to answer questions. Anyway back to the point of this story. When I left for NY there was a big party for me and I had always been told one day I would be as beautiful as my mother, the party was much of the same except now it was all “we were right she has turned into a carbon copy of her mother beautiful from the toes to her nose but those eyes set her apart” well I get to college and everything is great. I go wild of course like most girls do I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend or 3 but it was all in fun I just wanted to experience life but at 17 I had trouble getting into clubs like the rest of them, so more and more I found myself attending parties and after parties with the others at school. One of the guys I had become close to was big into baseball and was trying to get into the minor leagues with a few other buddies from a JC close by. It started out as a fun party, lots of people around as the hours went on most people had left, including my buddy, I was plastered and couldn’t hardly stand. I had been dancing with everyone and kissing anyone who wanted to kiss. It
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