was just for fun but the one guy started getting a little frisky and I was ready to go, I looked around for the guy I came with but he was gone. It was me and these 4 guys left in the room. The poker table was there so they wanted me to dance. I was up for it because in my head it got me away from Mr. touchy to muchy so with a little help up on the table I went to dancing and laughing (I look up at cam he is he is still listening) the next thing I know one of them jerked my legs out from under me I crashed down on the table busting my head and before I could move 1 guy had my hands pinned above my head and the other guys had one leg each and Mr. touchy was one of them, somehow they got me pinned down and then decided they would each take a turn. Using random baseball terms they each had a turn at bat, so they laughed every time they said it. And after about 30-40 minutes that seemed like years they all four had (at this point I am barely able to finish but I have to I look up at cam again and his face is twisted and red, is he mad? Or feeling like I betrayed him? I can’t read him) Made it around once and it started over. First it was pinned down then they turned me over made their ways around from the back. Afterwards they decided they wanted to hold me on top and force me to move, one even made me open my mouth and made sure if I bit down they would make me regret it. After they all had their way as many times as they could I thought they would leave me alone and let me go. I cried and begged but they were made to stop and be replaced with forced groans and noises of their choice. Just when I thought it was over Mr. touchy himself had a grand idea, and then it went from them to the objects of their choice. Beer bottles, brooms, just whatever they could find. It was horrible and embarrassing, I finally passed out and when I woke up I was home alone. Someone knew who I was and where to leave me which meant they knew where to find me. I was so scared I called my mom they flew up to help me pack my things. I was going home. After police reports which were pointless I knew no names of the guys I was left with but kind of remembered how I got there. KIND OF!!! I went home only to end up sick, a few weeks later to my knowledge I was pregnant. At 17 I was knocked up and no clue who the dad was. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t believe in abortion but how could I love someone who reminded me of the worst thing in my life? I was so lost. How could a little fun turn into such a horrible thing? My own father had trouble looking at me. One day about 3 months into it I was making my way down the stairs at home to talk to my mom about 1 of the guys they caught and I slipped & face first I went down, after a 2 day stay at the hospital I was informed I had lost the baby. I cried but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was sad or relieved. Honestly I am still not sure. My mom and dad made 1 more trip to NY to sign forms and pick up police reports and grab the last of my belongings. Before they left I told my mom it was her fault had I not looked like her and finally grown into a beautiful woman they would have never looked twice at me, the night they headed home the plane crashed and they were both gone. I never got to tell her I was sorry. So within 4 months I was rapped, pregnant, lost my child, & lost both of my parents and never once got to right my wrongs. The great DR APLINE decided I need to join a support group so I did and guess what (is he still with me? OMG why is he staring at me like that? Ok I gotta hurry before I lose him) in that support group I meet a lot of people who went through some things like me just not more than 1, they had been rapped or lost a child or a parent but never all of the above like me. I never wanted to touch another person as long as I lived until I met Corrine, she was a dominatrix because she refused to be a victim, she told me as long as she had control she could have that
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