People are born with a strong personal identity. As infants we know what we want. And we’re not afraid to cry about it. A strong personal identity is like infancy: In time we might grow out of it. Some people’s strong personal identities are maintained by a good family. Other people’s personal identities are weakened by bad parenting and unchecked sibling rivalry. A few people’s personal identities are obliterated by neglect and abuse. By the time I drank Theo’s blood, my personal identity had the strength of tissue paper. It tore easily. It soaked up many of my tears.
Theo’s Blood Memories pierced my heart and penetrated my mind. My heart raced with his feelings. My mind bubbled with his memories. It was as if I had taken into myself Theo’s deepest passion, pursuits, and perceptions – all of who and how he was. This tissue paper girl felt she might burst from the potency of his self-possession.
Theo believed in a power greater than himself. He called this power “God” because that word alone was simple and small. He dismissively waved off the association God had with religion. He thought God was an aptly insignificant word to describe an infinitely powerful mystery. My personality had been insignificant until then. Like a reed in the wind. I needed a strong personal identity to borrow. Theo’s was brimming with the confidence I’d always wanted. I would try to be exactly like him. I would feel the way he felt. I would think the way he thought. I would stride the way he strode. I would pose with his poise. I would love what he liked – except for myself. I didn’t know how to love my “self” yet. Who can say they deeply love tissue paper?
My china doll’s Blood Memories went to work in Theo immediately. On the violin, she could play Bach, Mendelssohn, Paganini, and much more great music from many other great violinists. Now, Theo could do so also. Her Blood Memories surged through his veins. He knew the notes to every song she knew. He knew the fingering to any scale she knew. Theo was now a concert violinist – at least for a week or so, until his Blood Memories faded away.
Wyn had tucked away somewhere in his cavernous mansion a great Stradivarius violin, which was by that time gathering dust. He gave it to Theo for the week. It was interesting to see how Wyn regarded it so nostalgically. “ It’s good someone’s using it again,” he remarked. I wondered who had owned the violin before. I had not yet met his dead wife, Aemilia.
Wyn said nothing more about it. But the way he moved explained much. His movements slowed while his breathing quickened. A human wouldn’t have noticed any change. I’d never seen him look so mournful. Whoever had owned that old Stradivarius violin had been very important to Wyn.
The next morning, I came into the kitchen to find Theo restringing the Stradivarius. Wyn also came in, reading Brian Greene’s The Elegant Universe . He had drunk the blood of an astronomer. The astronomer was a lonely man living on the outskirts of the village near the mountaintop. His whole house was a homemade observatory. Wyn had devoured the man’s Blood Memories. Wyn was now entirely occupied with the vast mysterious life of the universe. His mind was teeming with new ideas. He also read Carl Sagan’s Cosmos in a few minutes, and then cross-referenced that with Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass . He believed the two were highly interrelated.
Ms. Crystobal prepared coffee and fruit-salad for breakfast. She was our housekeeper, cook, and maid. She did everything. She never complained about the workload. She was amazing. That should have told us: She wasn’t from our planet – or from our universe – and now that I think about it, I doubt that she was even from our dimension. Her daily sour expression never