because of it. She just gave into it, into everything.
‘So, you were both at the clinic on the same day?’ says Detective Sappington, pulling Caro away from her dreamy recollection.
Caro sighs. ‘Yes; you can just drop in on certain days and wait to see the nurse. I came in and put my name—well, Alexa’s name—on the board, and then I put her on the floor to play and saw Anna. She was sitting alone flicking through a magazine without actually looking at it. Mostly she was watching Maya, her daughter; just staring at her as though she thought she might leap out of her pram at any moment. Maya was watching a video on one of those portable DVD players, and every time she got to the end of it, she would press one of the buttons to rewind it, and another to make it play again.
‘I couldn’t believe it. I mean, Lex was trying to walk, and she already had two words—“star” and “cat”, I think—but Maya’s fine motor skills were amazing. She was just sittingin her pram, watching this video. At that stage, if Lex was awake, she was moving. She barely even sat still to eat. I looked at Anna and she looked like she’d stepped out of a magazine, like she’d just come from hair and make-up. She was even thinner than she is now . . .’ Caro stops talking. She hasn’t seen Anna for a couple of weeks. She may be thinner than ever now; thinner than when they first met. Anna stops eating when she is stressed or unhappy. It’s a wonder she hadn’t faded away altogether even before the . . . the accident.
‘Mrs Harman,’ prompts Detective Sappington.
‘Oh . . . yes, I was saying that she looked amazing. She was dressed in neatly ironed jeans, and a soft leather jacket and high-heeled boots. “Who dresses like that to come to the clinic?” I thought. I had barely made it out of my pyjamas, but Anna looked perfect. There wasn’t a blonde hair out of place but there was still something about her that looked wrong.’ Caro pushes her lips together. She has just gone on and on as the memory of meeting Anna assailed her. Her first glance of Anna had led her to look around the room for the nanny she assumed would be with the overly made-up mother and quiet, beautifully behaved child, but then she had looked again.
‘Wrong?’ asks Detective Sappington.
‘Yes, wrong. She was holding onto the magazine so tightly she was crumpling it and her body was so stiff it looked like she was trying not to touch the chair.’
‘So you started talking to her?’
‘Well, not at first. There were a couple of other mothers there with their children and I recognised them and smiledat them but they didn’t seem interested in getting into a conversation. I wasn’t really friendly with them. I knew a lot of the mothers in my community by sight. I went to a lot of stuff with Lex then . . . mothers group and Gymbaroo and music time . . . but I’d never seen Anna anywhere. I thought that she may have just moved into the area and that she must be lonely.
‘Geoff always says that I have a way of adopting lonely people and trying to help them, but I don’t think that’s true. I just felt for Anna when I saw her. I moved one seat closer to her and watched Maya, and then I asked Anna how old Maya was.’
Caro hadn’t immediately started talking to Anna. She had felt the unwelcome possibility of rejection from the yummy mummy in tight jeans, and so she had tried to smooth her hair and pull her shirt further down over her maternity jeans. She was usually able to tell herself, ‘Fuck it, I have other things on my mind,’ when she felt she looked like she had just crawled out of bed, but for a moment, Anna made her wish she had started her diet three weeks before and that the gym membership Geoff had given her for her birthday wasn’t lying unused in a drawer. But then Lex had pointed at a picture of a kitten on the wall and said, ‘Meee’, which was her version of ‘meow’, and Caro had smiled at her daughter and glanced
‘So, you were both at the clinic on the same day?’ says Detective Sappington, pulling Caro away from her dreamy recollection.
Caro sighs. ‘Yes; you can just drop in on certain days and wait to see the nurse. I came in and put my name—well, Alexa’s name—on the board, and then I put her on the floor to play and saw Anna. She was sitting alone flicking through a magazine without actually looking at it. Mostly she was watching Maya, her daughter; just staring at her as though she thought she might leap out of her pram at any moment. Maya was watching a video on one of those portable DVD players, and every time she got to the end of it, she would press one of the buttons to rewind it, and another to make it play again.
‘I couldn’t believe it. I mean, Lex was trying to walk, and she already had two words—“star” and “cat”, I think—but Maya’s fine motor skills were amazing. She was just sittingin her pram, watching this video. At that stage, if Lex was awake, she was moving. She barely even sat still to eat. I looked at Anna and she looked like she’d stepped out of a magazine, like she’d just come from hair and make-up. She was even thinner than she is now . . .’ Caro stops talking. She hasn’t seen Anna for a couple of weeks. She may be thinner than ever now; thinner than when they first met. Anna stops eating when she is stressed or unhappy. It’s a wonder she hadn’t faded away altogether even before the . . . the accident.
‘Mrs Harman,’ prompts Detective Sappington.
‘Oh . . . yes, I was saying that she looked amazing. She was dressed in neatly ironed jeans, and a soft leather jacket and high-heeled boots. “Who dresses like that to come to the clinic?” I thought. I had barely made it out of my pyjamas, but Anna looked perfect. There wasn’t a blonde hair out of place but there was still something about her that looked wrong.’ Caro pushes her lips together. She has just gone on and on as the memory of meeting Anna assailed her. Her first glance of Anna had led her to look around the room for the nanny she assumed would be with the overly made-up mother and quiet, beautifully behaved child, but then she had looked again.
‘Wrong?’ asks Detective Sappington.
‘Yes, wrong. She was holding onto the magazine so tightly she was crumpling it and her body was so stiff it looked like she was trying not to touch the chair.’
‘So you started talking to her?’
‘Well, not at first. There were a couple of other mothers there with their children and I recognised them and smiledat them but they didn’t seem interested in getting into a conversation. I wasn’t really friendly with them. I knew a lot of the mothers in my community by sight. I went to a lot of stuff with Lex then . . . mothers group and Gymbaroo and music time . . . but I’d never seen Anna anywhere. I thought that she may have just moved into the area and that she must be lonely.
‘Geoff always says that I have a way of adopting lonely people and trying to help them, but I don’t think that’s true. I just felt for Anna when I saw her. I moved one seat closer to her and watched Maya, and then I asked Anna how old Maya was.’
Caro hadn’t immediately started talking to Anna. She had felt the unwelcome possibility of rejection from the yummy mummy in tight jeans, and so she had tried to smooth her hair and pull her shirt further down over her maternity jeans. She was usually able to tell herself, ‘Fuck it, I have other things on my mind,’ when she felt she looked like she had just crawled out of bed, but for a moment, Anna made her wish she had started her diet three weeks before and that the gym membership Geoff had given her for her birthday wasn’t lying unused in a drawer. But then Lex had pointed at a picture of a kitten on the wall and said, ‘Meee’, which was her version of ‘meow’, and Caro had smiled at her daughter and glanced
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