back in her chair. She folds her arms across her chest but remains silent.
‘He did seem nice,’ says Caro as she recalls the large detective sitting next to Anna, murmuring softly to her. “He’s very good looking, isn’t he? You probably think I’m a bad person for noticing that but I’m sure a lot of people do. It’s the black hair and the green eyes, I think.’
‘Mrs Harman . . .’ says Detective Sappington, and then she smooths her perfectly smooth hair and Caro knows that she has definitely noticed how good looking Detective Anderson is. ‘Someone has a crush,’ she thinks, imagining that police stations are like soap operas, with romances sizzling around every corner. She wonders how long Detective Sappington has been infatuated with Detective Anderson and if she has any chance of having her affections returned. Maybe they are in a relationshipalready but Caro doubts it. Knowing this secret about the person opposite makes her feel a connection with her. The poor woman is just like she is—wanting what she can’t have.
‘Look, you might as well call me Caroline, or Caro . . . I hate being called Caroline.’
‘Okay, Caro. We were discussing Maya,’ says Detective Sappington.
‘Yes, Maya. The clinic nurse came out—I don’t think I will ever forget her. Her name was Lucille. She was one of those women who’d been trained one way and refused to learn anything new. I think she was already in her sixties, and she wore a white uniform and had grey hair cut really short, and when she looked at you, you felt like you’d somehow done something wrong. She was very bossy with the mothers. She turned all of us back into children. Her favourite phrase was, “Well, I don’t hold with all this new rubbish.” No matter what I said, she always said that. I mean, she was very kind and really knew how to handle a baby, but when I asked her about introducing solids and told her that I wanted to wait until later, because Lex seemed to be doing fine on just breast milk, she gave me the “rubbish” line and told me I had to start solids that afternoon. I had this kind of love–hate relationship with her; she stuck to her own ideas but she thought every baby was just amazing. She loved them all, and would talk softly to Lex while she undressed and weighed her, and even sing to keep her calm. And she never forgot a child. She’dsee a name on the board and look around the room, and recognise that baby or child immediately.
‘The day I met Anna, Lucille came out of her office and saw her there, and she kind of rolled her eyes and sighed, and Anna sat up again and then pulled her fingers through her hair, as though she were trying to make it look better. I had never seen Lucille react to a parent that way. She always said something like, “I hope you’ve been treating Mummy nicely, Alexa; shall we take her into the examining room?” But she didn’t say anything like that to Anna. She just nodded at Anna and wiped Maya’s name off the board. She looked really unhappy to have Maya in the clinic, and when Anna picked up Maya, she dropped the DVD player, and I found out why.’
‘What happened?’
‘Maya started screaming—not crying, but screaming, like someone had physically hurt her. Anna picked the thing up and tried to give it back to her, but the video had finished, and when it dropped the screen must have changed, because Maya’s screaming only got worse. Her body arched backwards, and she went from behaving like a much older child to behaving like a much younger one. It was weird. Anna followed Lucille into the office with her head down, and Maya kept screaming and for the whole appointment, she just screamed her head off. By the end of it, I had a headache, and the two other mothers were looking at the door to the office, with their arms folded and that kind of smug, judgemental look that some mothersget. You could almost see them thinking, “That would never be my child.”’
‘Caroline—I
‘He did seem nice,’ says Caro as she recalls the large detective sitting next to Anna, murmuring softly to her. “He’s very good looking, isn’t he? You probably think I’m a bad person for noticing that but I’m sure a lot of people do. It’s the black hair and the green eyes, I think.’
‘Mrs Harman . . .’ says Detective Sappington, and then she smooths her perfectly smooth hair and Caro knows that she has definitely noticed how good looking Detective Anderson is. ‘Someone has a crush,’ she thinks, imagining that police stations are like soap operas, with romances sizzling around every corner. She wonders how long Detective Sappington has been infatuated with Detective Anderson and if she has any chance of having her affections returned. Maybe they are in a relationshipalready but Caro doubts it. Knowing this secret about the person opposite makes her feel a connection with her. The poor woman is just like she is—wanting what she can’t have.
‘Look, you might as well call me Caroline, or Caro . . . I hate being called Caroline.’
‘Okay, Caro. We were discussing Maya,’ says Detective Sappington.
‘Yes, Maya. The clinic nurse came out—I don’t think I will ever forget her. Her name was Lucille. She was one of those women who’d been trained one way and refused to learn anything new. I think she was already in her sixties, and she wore a white uniform and had grey hair cut really short, and when she looked at you, you felt like you’d somehow done something wrong. She was very bossy with the mothers. She turned all of us back into children. Her favourite phrase was, “Well, I don’t hold with all this new rubbish.” No matter what I said, she always said that. I mean, she was very kind and really knew how to handle a baby, but when I asked her about introducing solids and told her that I wanted to wait until later, because Lex seemed to be doing fine on just breast milk, she gave me the “rubbish” line and told me I had to start solids that afternoon. I had this kind of love–hate relationship with her; she stuck to her own ideas but she thought every baby was just amazing. She loved them all, and would talk softly to Lex while she undressed and weighed her, and even sing to keep her calm. And she never forgot a child. She’dsee a name on the board and look around the room, and recognise that baby or child immediately.
‘The day I met Anna, Lucille came out of her office and saw her there, and she kind of rolled her eyes and sighed, and Anna sat up again and then pulled her fingers through her hair, as though she were trying to make it look better. I had never seen Lucille react to a parent that way. She always said something like, “I hope you’ve been treating Mummy nicely, Alexa; shall we take her into the examining room?” But she didn’t say anything like that to Anna. She just nodded at Anna and wiped Maya’s name off the board. She looked really unhappy to have Maya in the clinic, and when Anna picked up Maya, she dropped the DVD player, and I found out why.’
‘What happened?’
‘Maya started screaming—not crying, but screaming, like someone had physically hurt her. Anna picked the thing up and tried to give it back to her, but the video had finished, and when it dropped the screen must have changed, because Maya’s screaming only got worse. Her body arched backwards, and she went from behaving like a much older child to behaving like a much younger one. It was weird. Anna followed Lucille into the office with her head down, and Maya kept screaming and for the whole appointment, she just screamed her head off. By the end of it, I had a headache, and the two other mothers were looking at the door to the office, with their arms folded and that kind of smug, judgemental look that some mothersget. You could almost see them thinking, “That would never be my child.”’
‘Caroline—I
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