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Authors: Alexei Auld
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here.”
I had to tell someone. It was too early for Tani and Enos.
I roamed the halls and only one person was there.
The last person I needed to see.
25
“I'M NOT TALKING unless you apologize.”
“Apologize for what, Natasha?”
“Ignoring me?”
This was a mistake. A total mistake. I started to leave.
She lunged at me and grabbed my ankles.
“Let go.”
She pulled herself up and started unzipping my pants.
“What are you doing, Natasha?”
“What you want.”
I shrugged her away. “I don't want that,” I lied. I so wanted it, but knew it wasn't right.
She went for it again.
“Let go, Natasha.”
“Come on, Rufus. It'll make you feel good good good.”
She tried a hand job, but it wasn't happening.
I grabbed her hands. “Look, this is bigger than that.”
Her eyes nearly popped out of her sockets. She bit her bottom lip. “It is?”
I told her about Rick, and she actually did a good job listening to my story. Humming and gasping, asking questions between licks. She seemed perplexed by my report.
“This is bigger.”
I nodded. “I don't know what to do. I mean, that's theft. Stealing money from the clients.”
She stared at the ceiling. “I know who you should talk to.”
26
“THIS IS A serious allegation you're making, Rufus.” That was Gropius.
Grimes said, “Very serious.”
I pressed my lips together. “I know, but I thought that you should be aware of any misconduct. Especially considering how much our clients pay for our services per hour.”
Grimes looked at me askew. “How does this help us?”
I said, “I don't follow you.”
Grimes said, “How did you bill all this time you spent on a wild goose chase?”
Billables. “I didn't. Since it was a firm issue.”
Gropius said, “Let me tell you what a true firm issue is. We make money on billables.”
Grimes said, “Hard billables.”
Gropius wagged his finger. “The time you spent jealously playing Sherlock Holmes could have been spent on doing what we employed you to do.”
I said, “But don't you want to know about misdoings?”
Grimes shook his head. “If we want your help on that, we'll let you know.”
Gropius said, “In the meantime, the only thing you should be worrying about is whatever Sally assigns to you.”
Who? “Sally?”
Grimes tilted toward Gropius. “I think you mean Tawny.”
Gropius said, “Who?”
“You know.” Grimes wagged his tongue.
Gropius returned the gesture as if it would help him remember. “Yes. That Tawny.” He turned to me. “Tawny is who you are getting your work from. So do us a favor and leave the inquiries to us?”
27
ENOS COULDN'T BE bothered. “So what?”
I said, “Don't you think it's unethical to—”
“I think it's unethical for you to be fucking up a good thing.”
“What?”
“Look, Polly-Rufus. Play the game, take your check, and shut the fuck up. This isn't a legal aid society, it's a firm. The bottom line is dollars.”
“At the expense of our clients?”
“Who has more to lose? A multimillion-dollar corporation or a motherfucker like me who owes two hundred grand in school loans?”
“But it's cheating.”
“Law school cheated my ass. I borrowed fifty grand a year. And for what? The fucking Socratic method? A method where the professors don't have to teach because the law exists in us?”
Tani said, “He has a point.”
Enos shook his fist. “You're damn right I have a point. You think that law school, in wake of all this knowledge, will give your ass a refund? Fuck no.”
I said, “Whatever problem you have with legal education isn't the point. What is the point is crooked practices and crooked behavior. Behavior that rewards lying.”
Enos clapped. “Thank you, Social Justice Warrior. Since you have such a problem with the billing, why don't you refund your clients directly instead of complaining to the partners?”
“Maybe I will.”
“Let's say you do. How do you think our virtuous clients,
I had to tell someone. It was too early for Tani and Enos.
I roamed the halls and only one person was there.
The last person I needed to see.
25
“I'M NOT TALKING unless you apologize.”
“Apologize for what, Natasha?”
“Ignoring me?”
This was a mistake. A total mistake. I started to leave.
She lunged at me and grabbed my ankles.
“Let go.”
She pulled herself up and started unzipping my pants.
“What are you doing, Natasha?”
“What you want.”
I shrugged her away. “I don't want that,” I lied. I so wanted it, but knew it wasn't right.
She went for it again.
“Let go, Natasha.”
“Come on, Rufus. It'll make you feel good good good.”
She tried a hand job, but it wasn't happening.
I grabbed her hands. “Look, this is bigger than that.”
Her eyes nearly popped out of her sockets. She bit her bottom lip. “It is?”
I told her about Rick, and she actually did a good job listening to my story. Humming and gasping, asking questions between licks. She seemed perplexed by my report.
“This is bigger.”
I nodded. “I don't know what to do. I mean, that's theft. Stealing money from the clients.”
She stared at the ceiling. “I know who you should talk to.”
26
“THIS IS A serious allegation you're making, Rufus.” That was Gropius.
Grimes said, “Very serious.”
I pressed my lips together. “I know, but I thought that you should be aware of any misconduct. Especially considering how much our clients pay for our services per hour.”
Grimes looked at me askew. “How does this help us?”
I said, “I don't follow you.”
Grimes said, “How did you bill all this time you spent on a wild goose chase?”
Billables. “I didn't. Since it was a firm issue.”
Gropius said, “Let me tell you what a true firm issue is. We make money on billables.”
Grimes said, “Hard billables.”
Gropius wagged his finger. “The time you spent jealously playing Sherlock Holmes could have been spent on doing what we employed you to do.”
I said, “But don't you want to know about misdoings?”
Grimes shook his head. “If we want your help on that, we'll let you know.”
Gropius said, “In the meantime, the only thing you should be worrying about is whatever Sally assigns to you.”
Who? “Sally?”
Grimes tilted toward Gropius. “I think you mean Tawny.”
Gropius said, “Who?”
“You know.” Grimes wagged his tongue.
Gropius returned the gesture as if it would help him remember. “Yes. That Tawny.” He turned to me. “Tawny is who you are getting your work from. So do us a favor and leave the inquiries to us?”
27
ENOS COULDN'T BE bothered. “So what?”
I said, “Don't you think it's unethical to—”
“I think it's unethical for you to be fucking up a good thing.”
“What?”
“Look, Polly-Rufus. Play the game, take your check, and shut the fuck up. This isn't a legal aid society, it's a firm. The bottom line is dollars.”
“At the expense of our clients?”
“Who has more to lose? A multimillion-dollar corporation or a motherfucker like me who owes two hundred grand in school loans?”
“But it's cheating.”
“Law school cheated my ass. I borrowed fifty grand a year. And for what? The fucking Socratic method? A method where the professors don't have to teach because the law exists in us?”
Tani said, “He has a point.”
Enos shook his fist. “You're damn right I have a point. You think that law school, in wake of all this knowledge, will give your ass a refund? Fuck no.”
I said, “Whatever problem you have with legal education isn't the point. What is the point is crooked practices and crooked behavior. Behavior that rewards lying.”
Enos clapped. “Thank you, Social Justice Warrior. Since you have such a problem with the billing, why don't you refund your clients directly instead of complaining to the partners?”
“Maybe I will.”
“Let's say you do. How do you think our virtuous clients,
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