person is not right for you.
Fantasizing
----
Some people like to think sexy thoughts about someone who attracts them or about doing sexy things while they make love or masturbate. This is called fantasizing. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. It is a good way to learn what turns you on.
Masturbation
----
Masturbation is a natural and safe way to express sexuality throughout our lives. Many people discover masturbation when they are young (even babies). Don’t for one minute think that you are weird or the only person to do it. And, boys, you should know that girls masturbate, too, and so do grandmothers and grandfathers. People, after all, remain sexual well into old age.
Masturbation and Boys
If you are a boy, masturbating means stroking or rubbing your penis, “bed or pillow humping,” or even just fantasizing to the point where you experience sexual pleasure. When masturbation lasts long enough and if you are old enough to be making sperm, it can result in ejaculation (usually beginning between ages eleven and sixteen). In fact, most boys first experience ejaculation while masturbating. It is a safe way to privately and safely release the buildup of sexual tension and to learn about what pleases you, what your body enjoys. And don’t worry—you won’t run out of sperm by masturbating, it won’t affect your athletic performance, and it is not something you will have to stop when you are older and begin to have sex with someone. Similarly, it is not dangerous to become aroused, have an erection, and not ejaculate. The penis will simply relax into its softened state.
Masturbation and Girls
Girls masturbate for the same reason boys do. It is a safe and pleasurable way to release sexual tension. Girls masturbate byrubbing their clitoris and the area around and just inside their vaginas. They can do this with their hands or with a vibrator (a handheld device that vibrates) or by rubbing up against something that is hard. They do not ejaculate sperm like men do but they do have orgasms and a few women release fluid when they orgasm. This fluid is different from urine.
Not Everyone Masturbates
However, not all people masturbate and your family may not approve, so you need to be sensitive to their feelings. But you (and they) need to know that there is absolutely no medical evidence that masturbation can cause mental or physical damage!
When Is It Too Much?
Masturbation is just like anything else. If it’s all you can think about, or if you can’t stop doing it over and over many times a day, or if you do it so often that it interferes with school, chores, sports, family, or friends, then it’s just as much a problem as anything else you might overdo. If this happens, or if masturbation makes you feel bad about yourself or guilty, then maybe you should stop and take time to think about why you have these feelings. Are they really yours, or are they feelings that others have imposed on you? Perhaps you should discuss your feelings with a parent, school counselor, clergyperson, or doctor.
Outercourse and Hooking Up
----
Some young people feel that “hooking up” or “messing around” is a casual thing to do. Kissing or touching someone’s body without having intercourse can be called outercourse. I like this word better than the one your parents probably use, foreplay, because foreplay implies it is leading up to something more, such as inter course.
Outer course implies doing things that are pleasurable in and of themselves without penetration of any kind. Naturally, deciding if or when to move ahead further with outercourse, from kissing to French kissing (using your tongue) or from kissing to petting (stroking breasts), for example, is different from having sexual intercourse. For instance, touching someone’s breasts or genitals with your hands won’t result in pregnancy. Nonetheless, heavy kissing and touching still involves powerful feelings, and in certain situations (hand or mouth to
Fantasizing
----
Some people like to think sexy thoughts about someone who attracts them or about doing sexy things while they make love or masturbate. This is called fantasizing. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. It is a good way to learn what turns you on.
Masturbation
----
Masturbation is a natural and safe way to express sexuality throughout our lives. Many people discover masturbation when they are young (even babies). Don’t for one minute think that you are weird or the only person to do it. And, boys, you should know that girls masturbate, too, and so do grandmothers and grandfathers. People, after all, remain sexual well into old age.
Masturbation and Boys
If you are a boy, masturbating means stroking or rubbing your penis, “bed or pillow humping,” or even just fantasizing to the point where you experience sexual pleasure. When masturbation lasts long enough and if you are old enough to be making sperm, it can result in ejaculation (usually beginning between ages eleven and sixteen). In fact, most boys first experience ejaculation while masturbating. It is a safe way to privately and safely release the buildup of sexual tension and to learn about what pleases you, what your body enjoys. And don’t worry—you won’t run out of sperm by masturbating, it won’t affect your athletic performance, and it is not something you will have to stop when you are older and begin to have sex with someone. Similarly, it is not dangerous to become aroused, have an erection, and not ejaculate. The penis will simply relax into its softened state.
Masturbation and Girls
Girls masturbate for the same reason boys do. It is a safe and pleasurable way to release sexual tension. Girls masturbate byrubbing their clitoris and the area around and just inside their vaginas. They can do this with their hands or with a vibrator (a handheld device that vibrates) or by rubbing up against something that is hard. They do not ejaculate sperm like men do but they do have orgasms and a few women release fluid when they orgasm. This fluid is different from urine.
Not Everyone Masturbates
However, not all people masturbate and your family may not approve, so you need to be sensitive to their feelings. But you (and they) need to know that there is absolutely no medical evidence that masturbation can cause mental or physical damage!
When Is It Too Much?
Masturbation is just like anything else. If it’s all you can think about, or if you can’t stop doing it over and over many times a day, or if you do it so often that it interferes with school, chores, sports, family, or friends, then it’s just as much a problem as anything else you might overdo. If this happens, or if masturbation makes you feel bad about yourself or guilty, then maybe you should stop and take time to think about why you have these feelings. Are they really yours, or are they feelings that others have imposed on you? Perhaps you should discuss your feelings with a parent, school counselor, clergyperson, or doctor.
Outercourse and Hooking Up
----
Some young people feel that “hooking up” or “messing around” is a casual thing to do. Kissing or touching someone’s body without having intercourse can be called outercourse. I like this word better than the one your parents probably use, foreplay, because foreplay implies it is leading up to something more, such as inter course.
Outer course implies doing things that are pleasurable in and of themselves without penetration of any kind. Naturally, deciding if or when to move ahead further with outercourse, from kissing to French kissing (using your tongue) or from kissing to petting (stroking breasts), for example, is different from having sexual intercourse. For instance, touching someone’s breasts or genitals with your hands won’t result in pregnancy. Nonetheless, heavy kissing and touching still involves powerful feelings, and in certain situations (hand or mouth to
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