Read Online Becca by Jennie Taylor - Free Book Online Page A

everyone was staring at me. It’s annoying.
     
    “Don’t let people tell you who to be, Bridget.” I said.
    “Huh?”
    “Not even Mom and Dad. Stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to take chances, but be smart about it.”
    “Becca,”
    “You are special. You’re sweet, and smart, and you deserve the best in life, okay? Remember that. Always. And don’t just sleep with the first person you think you like a little. You’re better than that. Always use protection, you don’t want to be a mother before you’re ready.”
    “What is this?” Tasha asked.
    “I’m trying to think of all the advice I’d give her if I were around in the next few years. Whatever I forget, I’m sure you’ll take care of, right?”
    “You’ll be around.” Bridget said.
    “I hope so. I really want to see you grow up and see how you turn out.”
    “Stop talking like this.” She started crying again. It hasn’t been long since she stopped.
    “I’m sorry, honey.”
     
    We kind of sat there most of the day, not saying or doing much of anything. After a while I got used to them all staring at me, I guess. I just waited along with the rest of them for me to get sick. We have no idea how long it takes. Eventually the three younger kids fell asleep on the sofa across from me. Tasha was still awake, sitting next to me.
     
    “It’s late.” she said. It’s dark outside. “I think you would have gotten sick by now if you were going to.”
    “Maybe. Who knows?”
    “How long do you plan to wait until you’re convinced you’re going to be okay?”
    “Maybe by this time tomorrow. I mean I still won’t be comfortable for a while, but maybe it’ll be okay by then.”
    “I hope so.”
    “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you earlier.”
    “When?”
    “When I said I was in love with you.”
    “You didn’t embarrass me, Becca. Why would I be embarrassed?”
    “I don’t know.” I shrugged.. “So I was thinking earlier about that time in third grade, when we were playing kickball at recess. You swore to me you were going to kick it over the fence. And you ran up and kicked so hard at the ball.”  
    “But I missed and fell flat on my ass.” she said, laughing.
    “I was scared, I thought you were really hurt.”
    “And you ran all the way over from second base to check on me.”
    “But you were laughing. You were crying,”
    “I twisted my ankle, it hurt.”
    “But you were laughing, too.”
    “Because I knew how stupid it must have looked.” she said, laughing again. 
    “That was, um, when I first knew. That I was in love with you, I mean.”
    “Really?”
    “Yeah.”
     
    It was weird for a minute. She looked away, and she was smiling a little. I think she’s crying. I shouldn’t talk about this stuff, I upset her. And knowing her, she just feels bad because she thinks she’s hurting me by not feeling the same way about me.
     
    “It’s not your fault.” I said.
    “What’s not?” she mumbled.
    “I mean if you feel like bad or something that I’m upset that you don’t feel the same way. I knew you didn’t, Tasha. I know you’re not gay.”
    “So why did you wait so long to tell me, if you knew from way back then?”
    “I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. And I knew you could never feel the same way because you’re straight.”
    “You could never lose me as a friend.” she said. She looked over at me and smiled through her tears. “It’s so weird. I’ve never once thought about being with a girl.” she said. She laughed. “But someone confesses being in love with you and you kinda can’t help at least thinking about that, what it would be like.”
    “I’m sorry, Tasha. I should never have said anything.”
    “I’m glad you told me. I don’t want you to ever filter yourself because of me, Becca. You are the most important person in the world to me.”
    “Your parents...”
    “Are probably dead. Even if they’re not, I think losing them would be easier than losing