Logic can tell me what I feel isn’t real love, but that doesn’t change how I feel. Besides, I’m fourteen, what do I know about love?”
“Exactly!”
“My point was I don’t know the difference. So I’m going with you.”
“You’re insane.”
“Probably.”
“Go back!” I shoved her.
“I’m not going.”
This is stupid. I’m trying to save their lives and she insists on killing herself. And they let her come? Oh, guess not, here’s the rest of them in the car. Good. Maybe they can talk some sense into her.
“You have to go!” I shouted at her.
“I’d rather die with you than live without.”
“No.” I pointed the gun at her. “You’re going back.”
“So you’d shoot me to save my life?”
“I...” That doesn’t make much sense, does it? “Just let me go!”
“I’m not doing that.” Amber said.
“You have to do that.”
“No.” Tasha said. “Becca, you’ve been my best friend forever. I love you. So you’re coming back with us and we’ll wait and see if you get sick.”
“It’s too dangerous.” I said, shaking my head vigorously.
“We’re not letting you go. We’re a team.”
“Tasha,”
“If it were me, would you let me go?”
“I... no.” I admitted. “But it’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?” David asked.
“Because I’m in love with her.” I explained. And then I felt bad, because it probably embarrasses Tasha when I say things like that.
“And I’m in love with you.” Amber said. The others all turned toward her. “What? Like it’s a secret?”
“You can’t be in love with me, you’ve known me a week.”
“Lesbians are all screwed up.” David said, laughing. Great, laugh while I’m dying.
I don’t know how to make this easier for them. I thought just leaving right now would be best, but they’re all so insistent that I come with them. Wouldn’t it be harder for them to watch me getting sick? But I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to die.
“Please come back.” Tasha said.
“What if I get sick?”
“What if you don’t?” Bridget asked. “Don’t leave me alone, Becca. Please. Mom and Dad may never come, and I don’t have anyone else.”
“Tasha...”
“Isn’t family!”
“She’s practically a sister to you.”
“But she’s not my sister, you are. Please. Just come back.”
“If you start to get sick we’ll let you go.” Tasha said.
“What if it’s too late? What if I get sick so fast, and... and... I don’t want to hurt any of you.”
“You won’t.”
“I...” I nodded. I turned the gun around and held it out, by the barrel, toward Bridget. “Y-you have to take this. And Bridget, if anything... if I try to hurt anyone, you have to promise me that you’ll, um, stop me. Whatever it takes.”
“I can’t shoot you.” she whispered.
“You have to. Or you, Tasha. Someone. I’m not going back if you won’t promise me you’ll protect yourselves.”
“If I have to.” Tasha said. “But it won’t ever come to that.”
“I’ll go. But... please don’t let me hurt any of you.”
“Thank you.” Amber said. She came over and wrapped her arms around me.
We got back into the car. Okay, so they all care enough about me to want me to stay. That’s good, I guess. As long as it doesn’t get them all killed.
I wonder what it’s like to be dead. Do you go to some soothing place? Heaven? And if heaven exists, and you do go there if you’re a good and deserving person, would I? Do I deserve to go there? Have I done the right things in my life, been good enough, to get into such a place? And if I were infected and turned into a crazy cannibal, would that be overlooked because I had no say in the matter? Would I get to see Mom and Dad again?
We got back to the cabin and went inside. I tried to stay away from their food, I didn’t want to accidentally infect someone. We sat on the sofas and ate. Most of us didn’t eat much. And
“Exactly!”
“My point was I don’t know the difference. So I’m going with you.”
“You’re insane.”
“Probably.”
“Go back!” I shoved her.
“I’m not going.”
This is stupid. I’m trying to save their lives and she insists on killing herself. And they let her come? Oh, guess not, here’s the rest of them in the car. Good. Maybe they can talk some sense into her.
“You have to go!” I shouted at her.
“I’d rather die with you than live without.”
“No.” I pointed the gun at her. “You’re going back.”
“So you’d shoot me to save my life?”
“I...” That doesn’t make much sense, does it? “Just let me go!”
“I’m not doing that.” Amber said.
“You have to do that.”
“No.” Tasha said. “Becca, you’ve been my best friend forever. I love you. So you’re coming back with us and we’ll wait and see if you get sick.”
“It’s too dangerous.” I said, shaking my head vigorously.
“We’re not letting you go. We’re a team.”
“Tasha,”
“If it were me, would you let me go?”
“I... no.” I admitted. “But it’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?” David asked.
“Because I’m in love with her.” I explained. And then I felt bad, because it probably embarrasses Tasha when I say things like that.
“And I’m in love with you.” Amber said. The others all turned toward her. “What? Like it’s a secret?”
“You can’t be in love with me, you’ve known me a week.”
“Lesbians are all screwed up.” David said, laughing. Great, laugh while I’m dying.
I don’t know how to make this easier for them. I thought just leaving right now would be best, but they’re all so insistent that I come with them. Wouldn’t it be harder for them to watch me getting sick? But I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to die.
“Please come back.” Tasha said.
“What if I get sick?”
“What if you don’t?” Bridget asked. “Don’t leave me alone, Becca. Please. Mom and Dad may never come, and I don’t have anyone else.”
“Tasha...”
“Isn’t family!”
“She’s practically a sister to you.”
“But she’s not my sister, you are. Please. Just come back.”
“If you start to get sick we’ll let you go.” Tasha said.
“What if it’s too late? What if I get sick so fast, and... and... I don’t want to hurt any of you.”
“You won’t.”
“I...” I nodded. I turned the gun around and held it out, by the barrel, toward Bridget. “Y-you have to take this. And Bridget, if anything... if I try to hurt anyone, you have to promise me that you’ll, um, stop me. Whatever it takes.”
“I can’t shoot you.” she whispered.
“You have to. Or you, Tasha. Someone. I’m not going back if you won’t promise me you’ll protect yourselves.”
“If I have to.” Tasha said. “But it won’t ever come to that.”
“I’ll go. But... please don’t let me hurt any of you.”
“Thank you.” Amber said. She came over and wrapped her arms around me.
We got back into the car. Okay, so they all care enough about me to want me to stay. That’s good, I guess. As long as it doesn’t get them all killed.
I wonder what it’s like to be dead. Do you go to some soothing place? Heaven? And if heaven exists, and you do go there if you’re a good and deserving person, would I? Do I deserve to go there? Have I done the right things in my life, been good enough, to get into such a place? And if I were infected and turned into a crazy cannibal, would that be overlooked because I had no say in the matter? Would I get to see Mom and Dad again?
We got back to the cabin and went inside. I tried to stay away from their food, I didn’t want to accidentally infect someone. We sat on the sofas and ate. Most of us didn’t eat much. And
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