Read Online Beauty by Patria L. Dunn (Patria Dunn-Rowe) - Free Book Online
Authors: Patria L. Dunn (Patria Dunn-Rowe)
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the melody coming from the guitar, a soft voice singing along with the music.
It was the only door open in the long hallway, and I slumped against the wall just before the opening, trying to drum up the courage to ask if I could use the phone. But who would I call…? Most students had already left campus. The ones that had stayed were either from out of state or taking s ummer courses and I couldn’t call any of my bottom dwelling friends; they wouldn’t even recognize me. While I pondered the dilemma, my head leaned heavily against the wall, my mind distracted by the familiar tune I’d heard more than a dozen times on almost every radio station. It was a popular request, and even though my taste leaned more toward pop and country I’d recognized lil Wayne’s famous lyrics anywhere. The voice belonged to a girl, but it was still low and soulful ...beautiful enough that I found myself wondering if they were somehow speaking to me.
… Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love,
How to love
See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in this corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love
The song was right… Not once had I ever loved myself… Not once had I loved anyone else...except maybe my parents…and I found myself even questioning that at times now that I was older. They’d never really accepted me being fat… Would they love me now that I was skinny…?
Ooohh, see I just want you to know
That you deserve the best
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
Yeahh
And I want you to know
You’re far from the usual
Far from the usual …
The guitar continued to strum the melody, the voice fading into soft adlibs of the previous words. She didn’t see me at first, but shock registered somewhere in my befuddled mind as I turned slowly into the open door. A full head of red hair hid most o f the tiny body that sat perched on a barstool, her head lolling in time with the music. It was Becca…the giggly chic from Jeremy’s bathroom.
I watched her croon sof t ly to the last strains of the music, her hand cradling the belly of the instrument so gently that I thought she might drop it when her face finally lifted. Her eyes were closed, her pale face serene as it turned upwards towards the ceiling as if savoring t he beautiful words she’d just su n g. My fingers pulled on the edge of the t-shirt as her lids finally opened, her gaze meeting mine directly.
I didn’t move and she didn’t speak, but there was no judgment in her features. Pity maybe…but not judgment. My mouth opened, but only a shudder broke free, my tears still falling as I took a hesitant step forward.
“I’m sorry…” Becca whispered, her knuckles now white as she gripped the neck of the guitar. “I should’ve pulled you away. I thought you knew what you were doi ng…but…you’re a good girl right? Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t get high…”
Her words trailed off and I nodded, my arms wrapping around my waist as if to hug the bad memory away.
“Never…” I managed with a shake of my head, regretting it the second the motion was complete.
The room suddenly tilted sideways, my legs giving slightly as I tried to keep my balance. She caught me before I fell , throwing my arm around her neck as she led me to the sofa in the middle of the room.
“I…I…shouldn’t sit…I don’t have on any…”
I stopped…embarrassed that I’d left my stained panties lying in the hallway in front of Jeremy’s door.
“You can use my shower…” Becca offered…already turning me around to head back the other way.
I didn’t speak, so she continued.
“He’s done it before ya know… Lots of time s… Pure E crushed in a girl’s drink. It’s the same every time: h im or even him and his buddies fucking them at the same time and then tossing them out like the morning trash. Mixed with bud…let’s just say I’m surprised you’re up and about so soon. ”
Her
It was the only door open in the long hallway, and I slumped against the wall just before the opening, trying to drum up the courage to ask if I could use the phone. But who would I call…? Most students had already left campus. The ones that had stayed were either from out of state or taking s ummer courses and I couldn’t call any of my bottom dwelling friends; they wouldn’t even recognize me. While I pondered the dilemma, my head leaned heavily against the wall, my mind distracted by the familiar tune I’d heard more than a dozen times on almost every radio station. It was a popular request, and even though my taste leaned more toward pop and country I’d recognized lil Wayne’s famous lyrics anywhere. The voice belonged to a girl, but it was still low and soulful ...beautiful enough that I found myself wondering if they were somehow speaking to me.
… Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love,
How to love
See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in this corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love
The song was right… Not once had I ever loved myself… Not once had I loved anyone else...except maybe my parents…and I found myself even questioning that at times now that I was older. They’d never really accepted me being fat… Would they love me now that I was skinny…?
Ooohh, see I just want you to know
That you deserve the best
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
Yeahh
And I want you to know
You’re far from the usual
Far from the usual …
The guitar continued to strum the melody, the voice fading into soft adlibs of the previous words. She didn’t see me at first, but shock registered somewhere in my befuddled mind as I turned slowly into the open door. A full head of red hair hid most o f the tiny body that sat perched on a barstool, her head lolling in time with the music. It was Becca…the giggly chic from Jeremy’s bathroom.
I watched her croon sof t ly to the last strains of the music, her hand cradling the belly of the instrument so gently that I thought she might drop it when her face finally lifted. Her eyes were closed, her pale face serene as it turned upwards towards the ceiling as if savoring t he beautiful words she’d just su n g. My fingers pulled on the edge of the t-shirt as her lids finally opened, her gaze meeting mine directly.
I didn’t move and she didn’t speak, but there was no judgment in her features. Pity maybe…but not judgment. My mouth opened, but only a shudder broke free, my tears still falling as I took a hesitant step forward.
“I’m sorry…” Becca whispered, her knuckles now white as she gripped the neck of the guitar. “I should’ve pulled you away. I thought you knew what you were doi ng…but…you’re a good girl right? Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t get high…”
Her words trailed off and I nodded, my arms wrapping around my waist as if to hug the bad memory away.
“Never…” I managed with a shake of my head, regretting it the second the motion was complete.
The room suddenly tilted sideways, my legs giving slightly as I tried to keep my balance. She caught me before I fell , throwing my arm around her neck as she led me to the sofa in the middle of the room.
“I…I…shouldn’t sit…I don’t have on any…”
I stopped…embarrassed that I’d left my stained panties lying in the hallway in front of Jeremy’s door.
“You can use my shower…” Becca offered…already turning me around to head back the other way.
I didn’t speak, so she continued.
“He’s done it before ya know… Lots of time s… Pure E crushed in a girl’s drink. It’s the same every time: h im or even him and his buddies fucking them at the same time and then tossing them out like the morning trash. Mixed with bud…let’s just say I’m surprised you’re up and about so soon. ”
Her
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