Read Online Banished Babies: The Secret History of Ireland's Baby Export Business by Mike Milotte - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Mike Milotte
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find me if anyone had bothered to look and say: “your son wants to meet you and here’s his address”. I can’t understand why that wasn’t done. They might say they were protecting me, but I believe Kevin had a right to know regardless of me. After all, I had given birth to him. He wanted to know his roots. He was in pain and he was left in limbo.’
Michael decided to join in and see if he could move things along. Three of his sisters were nuns, so he was both experienced in dealing with them and sympathetic to their vocation. ‘Mary was getting so frustrated we decided I’d go with her to see Sister Gabriel,’ he said. ‘We knew she had our son’s name and address, and the purpose of my going was to at least get that and then we could do our own searching. So up we went and she was very nice to me, very helpful, except she wouldn’t give me what I’d come for. I asked her several times – just give me his name and last known address. All she would say was, “Oh, you’ll be pleased to know it’s a good Irish name”. Now whether Bates is a good Irish name or not I don’t know, but that was hardly the point as she wouldn’t even tell me what the good Irish name was. I found it very difficult to accept that here she was sitting in front of us with his file in her hands and his name and address right there and she wouldn’t give it to us.’
To Michael it seemed that Sister Gabriel was working under some rule or other. ‘She wasn’t emotional about it or anything, just clinical. There were rules she had to abide by – that was how it appeared – and nothing but nothing was going to make her break those rules, whatever they were. In our case, of course, it was well known and documented that both sides wanted to find each other, and we were all mature adults, so why she didn’t show some flexibility I just don’t know. Anyway, we came away empty-handed.’
It was on Michael’s mind that if he had Kenneth’s new name, and a fairly recent address, he could have gone to the United States himself. ‘I was retired, I had plenty of time. But she wouldn’t tell us where to begin. She did say she would do everything she could herself. But nothing happened. Nothing at all.’
Finally giving up all hope of progress through St Patrick’s Guild, Mary made contact with a woman in Dublin called Enda who helped people trace lost relatives. Enda carefully took down all her details. Back in the States, Kevin too had taken a new initiative, bypassing St Patrick’s Guild. ‘I got information from my computer, names and addresses of people who helped adopted people trace their roots. So I sent a letter off to a woman in Dublin, Enda, and she telegrammed me straight back. I was out of town on business for a few weeks, and when I got back and saw this thing in my mailbox, I thought it was a telephone bill, so I just left it lying there until the end of the month. When I finally opened it, it said “I’ve good news, call me.”’
It was an astonishing coincidence that Kevin and Mary had been in contact with was the same woman, Enda. ‘Well, I talked to Enda early in the morning,’ Kevin recalled, ‘and she said she had found my birth mother, Mary, and she said “you’d better be sitting down for this bit – your birth mother married your birth father and they had a family. You’ve got four brothers, two sisters, a dozen aunts and uncles, and 38 first cousins and they can’t wait to meet you.” I was shocked, as happy as a person can be, just overjoyed, very emotional. The tears were flowing.’
The same day Enda contacted Michael and Mary and told them she had found Kenneth, now Kevin. Late that night Mary rang her son in America. ‘Kevin answered. I felt so excited. “Hello, is that Kevin?” “Yes, who is this?” “This is your mother.” I can’t tell you what was said. It was so emotional, the relief on both sides, you could feel it 3,0 miles away.’
Kevin recalls their first call like
Michael decided to join in and see if he could move things along. Three of his sisters were nuns, so he was both experienced in dealing with them and sympathetic to their vocation. ‘Mary was getting so frustrated we decided I’d go with her to see Sister Gabriel,’ he said. ‘We knew she had our son’s name and address, and the purpose of my going was to at least get that and then we could do our own searching. So up we went and she was very nice to me, very helpful, except she wouldn’t give me what I’d come for. I asked her several times – just give me his name and last known address. All she would say was, “Oh, you’ll be pleased to know it’s a good Irish name”. Now whether Bates is a good Irish name or not I don’t know, but that was hardly the point as she wouldn’t even tell me what the good Irish name was. I found it very difficult to accept that here she was sitting in front of us with his file in her hands and his name and address right there and she wouldn’t give it to us.’
To Michael it seemed that Sister Gabriel was working under some rule or other. ‘She wasn’t emotional about it or anything, just clinical. There were rules she had to abide by – that was how it appeared – and nothing but nothing was going to make her break those rules, whatever they were. In our case, of course, it was well known and documented that both sides wanted to find each other, and we were all mature adults, so why she didn’t show some flexibility I just don’t know. Anyway, we came away empty-handed.’
It was on Michael’s mind that if he had Kenneth’s new name, and a fairly recent address, he could have gone to the United States himself. ‘I was retired, I had plenty of time. But she wouldn’t tell us where to begin. She did say she would do everything she could herself. But nothing happened. Nothing at all.’
Finally giving up all hope of progress through St Patrick’s Guild, Mary made contact with a woman in Dublin called Enda who helped people trace lost relatives. Enda carefully took down all her details. Back in the States, Kevin too had taken a new initiative, bypassing St Patrick’s Guild. ‘I got information from my computer, names and addresses of people who helped adopted people trace their roots. So I sent a letter off to a woman in Dublin, Enda, and she telegrammed me straight back. I was out of town on business for a few weeks, and when I got back and saw this thing in my mailbox, I thought it was a telephone bill, so I just left it lying there until the end of the month. When I finally opened it, it said “I’ve good news, call me.”’
It was an astonishing coincidence that Kevin and Mary had been in contact with was the same woman, Enda. ‘Well, I talked to Enda early in the morning,’ Kevin recalled, ‘and she said she had found my birth mother, Mary, and she said “you’d better be sitting down for this bit – your birth mother married your birth father and they had a family. You’ve got four brothers, two sisters, a dozen aunts and uncles, and 38 first cousins and they can’t wait to meet you.” I was shocked, as happy as a person can be, just overjoyed, very emotional. The tears were flowing.’
The same day Enda contacted Michael and Mary and told them she had found Kenneth, now Kevin. Late that night Mary rang her son in America. ‘Kevin answered. I felt so excited. “Hello, is that Kevin?” “Yes, who is this?” “This is your mother.” I can’t tell you what was said. It was so emotional, the relief on both sides, you could feel it 3,0 miles away.’
Kevin recalls their first call like
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