Read Online Back to the Fuchsia by Melanie James - Free Book Online
Authors: Melanie James
Tags: General Fiction
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recollection because the conversation went straight to the gutter from there.
Chapter 11
Sorting It Out
“ I ’ve never had a dream so vivid.”
“Gertie, this is not a dream. I’m serious. We’ve both gone back in time. I don’t know how it happened, but I’m sure of it. Here, take my hand.”
Jessica’s hand was warm and tender. “Nice nails. Is that OPI’s ‘Pink Before You Leap’, or something new?” A lightbulb flickered in my head, then it flashed to full luminosity. A fear suddenly gripped my heart. “Brain damage! Jaysus!”
“Thanks. Um, haven’t seen Brain Damage or Jaysus before. This is ‘Kiss Me On My Tulips’. Nice, right? Love OPI.”
“It’s a nice color, Jessica, but I meant I’ve given myself brain damage from that poisoned potato salad. I could be stuck hallucinating like this forever.”
“It’s worse than brain damage. We’ve truly both gone back in time. My guess is we’re in England at the time of King Henry VIII. I don’t know how it happened, it just did.”
“Jessica, tell me exactly what you were doing before you came here.”
“Okay, but promise you won’t get mad?”
“Cross my heart. Go ahead.”
“Well, remember when I was at your place for Leigh’s wedding? I know I saw a Bigfoot on the edge of the woods. I told Randy and Kelly, but they just made fun of me. I know what I saw. Before I left, I saw a pair of those creatures. It looked like they were sharing something. I was pretty far away, but to me, it looked like they were taking turns drinking from a tall glass, with a straw. I tried to get closer, but they took off for the swamp.”
“Max’s bong.”
“What? Max’s bong? What do you mean?”
“Hunter’s dad, Max. When he visited the plantation last year, he left his bong for Wills and Kate. They’re my Sasquatches. They’re always carrying on with that thing. Whatever it is, they sure like to play with it.”
“Okay, now you’re making fun of me, too? You own a pair of pot-smoking Sasquatches? Come on, Gertie. Please just believe me.”
“I do believe you. I’m telling you the truth. There’s a whole bunch of stuff you don’t know about me, your cousins, or the Paranormal Plantation. I know it’s probably hard to comprehend, but I’m a witch. Leigh, Lindsey, Randy, Kelly, and Ezzy especially, we’re all witches. My old plantation is not just a bed and breakfast, it’s a shelter for paranormal creatures. Not just the Sasquatches. I have all sorts of magical critters: dragons, unicorns, pretty ponies, a Pegasus, and more. I even have a Nessie named Rebecca. Plus, it’s a shelter for cats. Lots and lots of cats.”
Jessica fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor.
“Wow. It all makes sense. The strange things I heard and saw there. I knew Bigfoot was real! That’s why I came back down there yesterday—er, that day in the future formerly known as yesterday. I wanted to sneak around the swamp and get the first verified proof they exist. I spotted two of them rummaging through your garbage cans. They were putting some sort of clothing on. Grunting and making all kinds of noise.”
“I knew I heard someone in the trash bins. But someone snuck in through the back door. Was that you?”
“The creatures went inside, made a lot of noise, then it was quiet. I waited a few minutes, but when they didn’t come out, I decided to take a peek inside. I wanted to get them on video so bad. I’m really sorry for sneaking in after them.”
“It’s okay. I suppose it’s completely understandable. So, what were they doing?”
“I have no idea. I didn’t see them. I walked as far as a table covered in paint cans. Some of it had spilled. I stepped in a little puddle of it. Next thing I know, I’m landing in an open field. I’ve been here for two days now.”
“You couldn’t have been here that long. I just came down to check on all the noise, found the spilled paint, and tumbled out into an open field, like you
Chapter 11
Sorting It Out
“ I ’ve never had a dream so vivid.”
“Gertie, this is not a dream. I’m serious. We’ve both gone back in time. I don’t know how it happened, but I’m sure of it. Here, take my hand.”
Jessica’s hand was warm and tender. “Nice nails. Is that OPI’s ‘Pink Before You Leap’, or something new?” A lightbulb flickered in my head, then it flashed to full luminosity. A fear suddenly gripped my heart. “Brain damage! Jaysus!”
“Thanks. Um, haven’t seen Brain Damage or Jaysus before. This is ‘Kiss Me On My Tulips’. Nice, right? Love OPI.”
“It’s a nice color, Jessica, but I meant I’ve given myself brain damage from that poisoned potato salad. I could be stuck hallucinating like this forever.”
“It’s worse than brain damage. We’ve truly both gone back in time. My guess is we’re in England at the time of King Henry VIII. I don’t know how it happened, it just did.”
“Jessica, tell me exactly what you were doing before you came here.”
“Okay, but promise you won’t get mad?”
“Cross my heart. Go ahead.”
“Well, remember when I was at your place for Leigh’s wedding? I know I saw a Bigfoot on the edge of the woods. I told Randy and Kelly, but they just made fun of me. I know what I saw. Before I left, I saw a pair of those creatures. It looked like they were sharing something. I was pretty far away, but to me, it looked like they were taking turns drinking from a tall glass, with a straw. I tried to get closer, but they took off for the swamp.”
“Max’s bong.”
“What? Max’s bong? What do you mean?”
“Hunter’s dad, Max. When he visited the plantation last year, he left his bong for Wills and Kate. They’re my Sasquatches. They’re always carrying on with that thing. Whatever it is, they sure like to play with it.”
“Okay, now you’re making fun of me, too? You own a pair of pot-smoking Sasquatches? Come on, Gertie. Please just believe me.”
“I do believe you. I’m telling you the truth. There’s a whole bunch of stuff you don’t know about me, your cousins, or the Paranormal Plantation. I know it’s probably hard to comprehend, but I’m a witch. Leigh, Lindsey, Randy, Kelly, and Ezzy especially, we’re all witches. My old plantation is not just a bed and breakfast, it’s a shelter for paranormal creatures. Not just the Sasquatches. I have all sorts of magical critters: dragons, unicorns, pretty ponies, a Pegasus, and more. I even have a Nessie named Rebecca. Plus, it’s a shelter for cats. Lots and lots of cats.”
Jessica fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor.
“Wow. It all makes sense. The strange things I heard and saw there. I knew Bigfoot was real! That’s why I came back down there yesterday—er, that day in the future formerly known as yesterday. I wanted to sneak around the swamp and get the first verified proof they exist. I spotted two of them rummaging through your garbage cans. They were putting some sort of clothing on. Grunting and making all kinds of noise.”
“I knew I heard someone in the trash bins. But someone snuck in through the back door. Was that you?”
“The creatures went inside, made a lot of noise, then it was quiet. I waited a few minutes, but when they didn’t come out, I decided to take a peek inside. I wanted to get them on video so bad. I’m really sorry for sneaking in after them.”
“It’s okay. I suppose it’s completely understandable. So, what were they doing?”
“I have no idea. I didn’t see them. I walked as far as a table covered in paint cans. Some of it had spilled. I stepped in a little puddle of it. Next thing I know, I’m landing in an open field. I’ve been here for two days now.”
“You couldn’t have been here that long. I just came down to check on all the noise, found the spilled paint, and tumbled out into an open field, like you
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