Read Online Ann Brashares - The Last Summer (of You and Me) by Ann Brashares - Free Book Online
Authors: Ann Brashares
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of itself on the land and eager to take it back. But the moon had other ideas.
"The tide is going out," Paul said.
"We should swim," Riley suggested.
Alice feared this would happen. She was ashamed of the fact that she'd never really loved swimming in the ocean at night. She didn't want them to know.
"Hey. Let's." Of course, Riley was already on her feet and halfway down to the surf.
Alice was happy in her tide pool. But as she watched them pulling off T-shirts and wading in, out seeped the old fear, the
� 56 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
younger-sister fear, that they would leave her out if she couldn't keep up. It was a fear more basic than that of sharks and wrenching currents and all the unnameable mysteries of the ocean at night, though it did not exclude them.
She saw their heads bobbing. Riley was telling Paul something funny. She stood to follow them, pushed by the dread that if they got too far ahead, she would lose her place with them.
Riley and Paul raced over the seams and junctures of life, and she always got stuck on them. Should she take off her shirt? She wasn't wearing a bathing suit or even a bra. She'd be swimming in her underwear. But otherwise she would have nothing dry to put on when she got out. Riley didn't care and Paul probably wouldn't notice her either way, but her doubts seeded other doubts. Most people here were so easygoing about casting off their clothes and jumping into the ocean, but Alice cared too much about every thing. Could she rush back to the house and get her suit on? Did she have a dry suit? She pictured the ball of suits she 'd left on top of the machine. Had her mother done laundry?
There were Paul and Riley, radiant in a calm sea, faces turned up to the stars, and her mind was with the laundry.
Some people have no magic, Riley used to say.
Alice cast off her shirt and dove in. She tried to catch up, but they were already off in the direction of the lighthouse. She swam after them, her normally neat strokes seized by insecurity. Effort lessness was not one of their things she could hope to match. She heard the dark water in her ears, felt the volume of it under and around her, felt her heart smashing along in time with her kicks and her pulls.
� 57 � Ann Brashares
She made for the lighthouse, swimming out past the surf, but she felt herself pulled from her path. She struggled against the tide carrying her back into the beach.
She kicked harder. She drew rough breaths. When she looked up again, she realized she was making almost no progress. And with the sweep of the beam from the lighthouse, she also realized that Riley and Paul were no longer in the water but on the sand. They weren't wrestling the tide but simply walking along the beach toward home.
She came in after them, fighting to catch her breath several yards behind them. She hurried along, covering her chest with her arms, feeling the cross she wore on a chain around her neck tap ping against her sternum.
She recognized that unlike her, Riley had some kind of suit on, and Alice felt doubly self-conscious. Riley always clothed herself with the idea that there might be a swim involved, whereas for Alice it came as a revelation for which she was never prepared. Paul's back was bare and his boxers hung drenched. She studied his back, a man's back, gracefully shaped by nature plus all the years of outswimming everyone.
Riley was several inches shorter than Paul, but her stride was long. Her shoulders were wide and her hips were as slim as a boy's. There was no nonsense in the way she shook out her wet hair.
With agitated strides, Alice caught up to their easy ones. She joined them, full of doubt and attention. She wanted Paul to notice her, and she also wanted to find her T-shirt and put it on as quickly as possible. She wanted to submerge herself up to her neck in the moon, just revel in her Alice tide pool and allow herself to think
� 58 � The Last Summer (of You and
"The tide is going out," Paul said.
"We should swim," Riley suggested.
Alice feared this would happen. She was ashamed of the fact that she'd never really loved swimming in the ocean at night. She didn't want them to know.
"Hey. Let's." Of course, Riley was already on her feet and halfway down to the surf.
Alice was happy in her tide pool. But as she watched them pulling off T-shirts and wading in, out seeped the old fear, the
� 56 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
younger-sister fear, that they would leave her out if she couldn't keep up. It was a fear more basic than that of sharks and wrenching currents and all the unnameable mysteries of the ocean at night, though it did not exclude them.
She saw their heads bobbing. Riley was telling Paul something funny. She stood to follow them, pushed by the dread that if they got too far ahead, she would lose her place with them.
Riley and Paul raced over the seams and junctures of life, and she always got stuck on them. Should she take off her shirt? She wasn't wearing a bathing suit or even a bra. She'd be swimming in her underwear. But otherwise she would have nothing dry to put on when she got out. Riley didn't care and Paul probably wouldn't notice her either way, but her doubts seeded other doubts. Most people here were so easygoing about casting off their clothes and jumping into the ocean, but Alice cared too much about every thing. Could she rush back to the house and get her suit on? Did she have a dry suit? She pictured the ball of suits she 'd left on top of the machine. Had her mother done laundry?
There were Paul and Riley, radiant in a calm sea, faces turned up to the stars, and her mind was with the laundry.
Some people have no magic, Riley used to say.
Alice cast off her shirt and dove in. She tried to catch up, but they were already off in the direction of the lighthouse. She swam after them, her normally neat strokes seized by insecurity. Effort lessness was not one of their things she could hope to match. She heard the dark water in her ears, felt the volume of it under and around her, felt her heart smashing along in time with her kicks and her pulls.
� 57 � Ann Brashares
She made for the lighthouse, swimming out past the surf, but she felt herself pulled from her path. She struggled against the tide carrying her back into the beach.
She kicked harder. She drew rough breaths. When she looked up again, she realized she was making almost no progress. And with the sweep of the beam from the lighthouse, she also realized that Riley and Paul were no longer in the water but on the sand. They weren't wrestling the tide but simply walking along the beach toward home.
She came in after them, fighting to catch her breath several yards behind them. She hurried along, covering her chest with her arms, feeling the cross she wore on a chain around her neck tap ping against her sternum.
She recognized that unlike her, Riley had some kind of suit on, and Alice felt doubly self-conscious. Riley always clothed herself with the idea that there might be a swim involved, whereas for Alice it came as a revelation for which she was never prepared. Paul's back was bare and his boxers hung drenched. She studied his back, a man's back, gracefully shaped by nature plus all the years of outswimming everyone.
Riley was several inches shorter than Paul, but her stride was long. Her shoulders were wide and her hips were as slim as a boy's. There was no nonsense in the way she shook out her wet hair.
With agitated strides, Alice caught up to their easy ones. She joined them, full of doubt and attention. She wanted Paul to notice her, and she also wanted to find her T-shirt and put it on as quickly as possible. She wanted to submerge herself up to her neck in the moon, just revel in her Alice tide pool and allow herself to think
� 58 � The Last Summer (of You and
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