Read Online Ann Brashares - The Last Summer (of You and Me) by Ann Brashares - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ann Brashares
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to relax and make his face go into the normal shapes, but it wasn't easy. He felt strain in every muscle. You couldn't be artificial around Riley, but sometimes you couldn't be honest, either.
He felt guilty toward Alice, but that was by no means the worst of what he felt. He wished guilt were the principal emotion,
� 61 � Ann Brashares
because that would mean he had the upper hand, and he did not. He only pretended.
It was a strange way to love a person.
What was the matter with him? Why couldn't he just get over her? Or at least be nice to her. He'd done this for too long, alter nating between loving her and punishing her for being loved.
"Trevor spotted a shark out there this morning."
Well, one reason was sitting next to him, bouncing her legs. Paul nodded. "Did he really? What kind?" He tried to work up enthusiasm. Sharks had been a sacred fascination of theirs. Not like dolphins for Riley, but still big.
"Probably a nurse shark."
He nodded. "Not big, though." The fantasy was always a big shark. He always drew back from his fantasies.
"Not so small, actually."
"Huh."
He was glad to be near her, because Riley was a touchstone. For him and for Alice, too, he knew. Her outlook was simple, and when you looked at the world through her eyes, you could see it simply, too. Like those Magic Eye pictures. You looked and you looked and suddenly, almost miraculously, the random chaos of all the flat little shapes turned into a three-dimensional picture. But then you blinked or you looked away and it was lost.
Riley had certainty. She was how she was, and while the rest of the world teased and shifted around her, she stood firm. He had once thought he could be like that, too. She discarded whole chunks of life that obsessed other people. She didn't torture people she loved, nor did she hunger for them. She kept it simple. She trusted what she had.
� 62 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
She thought he was still like that. She didn't realize how far he had drifted. He was always grateful that Riley could not see into his brain.
"Do you remember our deep-sea fishing trip on Crawford's boat?" he asked.
"Which one?"
"The first trip. I think we were twelve, when you caught the tiger shark?"
She looked eager, but not necessarily because of remembering. "Was it a tiger shark?"
"You don't remember that?"
"Tell me. I'll try to remember."
"It was flipping around like crazy on deck. Remember? Craw ford was shouting at us. The shark was bigger than you were. It freaked him out."
"What happened?" she asked. She loved this kind of story.
"You found a ball-peen hammer below deck, and you smacked that poor shark in the side of the head."
"That worked, right?" she asked.
"Like a charm," he said. "Don't you remember?"
He could tell that she didn't. It was an odd thing about her that she loved these stories, she loved her own acts of derring-do, but she couldn't remember them very well. She 'd had so many of them.
He looked at her feet, her braided anklet she'd had since before she was a teenager. Her same bathing suit. Her same hair tucked behind her ears in the same old way.
That episode with the tiger shark was in the past for him-- thrilling, but never to be repeated. It represented a particular time,
� 63 � Ann Brashares
a particular feeling. He marked it as he passed it; that was the way he recorded it. But in some sense he knew Riley had not passed it by. She was still there.
"We should go again," she said. "Crawford still does the deep- sea trips."
And though Paul heartily agreed, he felt sad about it. He couldn't do it again. If he did, he would arrive as a different per son, only playing at their old way, and he hated to disappoint her.
� 64 � Six
God Made Alice for Alice
A lice nearly fell over when she saw her sister in bed the fol
lowing morning. "What are you doing?"
"My throat hurts."
Alice went to sit on Riley's bed. Her sister was wrapped up in
He felt guilty toward Alice, but that was by no means the worst of what he felt. He wished guilt were the principal emotion,
� 61 � Ann Brashares
because that would mean he had the upper hand, and he did not. He only pretended.
It was a strange way to love a person.
What was the matter with him? Why couldn't he just get over her? Or at least be nice to her. He'd done this for too long, alter nating between loving her and punishing her for being loved.
"Trevor spotted a shark out there this morning."
Well, one reason was sitting next to him, bouncing her legs. Paul nodded. "Did he really? What kind?" He tried to work up enthusiasm. Sharks had been a sacred fascination of theirs. Not like dolphins for Riley, but still big.
"Probably a nurse shark."
He nodded. "Not big, though." The fantasy was always a big shark. He always drew back from his fantasies.
"Not so small, actually."
"Huh."
He was glad to be near her, because Riley was a touchstone. For him and for Alice, too, he knew. Her outlook was simple, and when you looked at the world through her eyes, you could see it simply, too. Like those Magic Eye pictures. You looked and you looked and suddenly, almost miraculously, the random chaos of all the flat little shapes turned into a three-dimensional picture. But then you blinked or you looked away and it was lost.
Riley had certainty. She was how she was, and while the rest of the world teased and shifted around her, she stood firm. He had once thought he could be like that, too. She discarded whole chunks of life that obsessed other people. She didn't torture people she loved, nor did she hunger for them. She kept it simple. She trusted what she had.
� 62 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
She thought he was still like that. She didn't realize how far he had drifted. He was always grateful that Riley could not see into his brain.
"Do you remember our deep-sea fishing trip on Crawford's boat?" he asked.
"Which one?"
"The first trip. I think we were twelve, when you caught the tiger shark?"
She looked eager, but not necessarily because of remembering. "Was it a tiger shark?"
"You don't remember that?"
"Tell me. I'll try to remember."
"It was flipping around like crazy on deck. Remember? Craw ford was shouting at us. The shark was bigger than you were. It freaked him out."
"What happened?" she asked. She loved this kind of story.
"You found a ball-peen hammer below deck, and you smacked that poor shark in the side of the head."
"That worked, right?" she asked.
"Like a charm," he said. "Don't you remember?"
He could tell that she didn't. It was an odd thing about her that she loved these stories, she loved her own acts of derring-do, but she couldn't remember them very well. She 'd had so many of them.
He looked at her feet, her braided anklet she'd had since before she was a teenager. Her same bathing suit. Her same hair tucked behind her ears in the same old way.
That episode with the tiger shark was in the past for him-- thrilling, but never to be repeated. It represented a particular time,
� 63 � Ann Brashares
a particular feeling. He marked it as he passed it; that was the way he recorded it. But in some sense he knew Riley had not passed it by. She was still there.
"We should go again," she said. "Crawford still does the deep- sea trips."
And though Paul heartily agreed, he felt sad about it. He couldn't do it again. If he did, he would arrive as a different per son, only playing at their old way, and he hated to disappoint her.
� 64 � Six
God Made Alice for Alice
A lice nearly fell over when she saw her sister in bed the fol
lowing morning. "What are you doing?"
"My throat hurts."
Alice went to sit on Riley's bed. Her sister was wrapped up in
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