Read Online An Accidental Man by Iris Murdoch - Free Book Online

best rooms, but he declined having just found the little flat in Bayswater which he inhabited still. They continued to meet in pubs. Mitzi did not get any thinner. Soon she would have to go to the Outsize Shop. People turned and stared after her in the street. However, she was just beginning to inhabit herself again when Austin went off into a daze about Dorina. Austin had known Dorina for a long time. His brother and Dorina’s sister had been friends. Mitzi had met Dorina once or twice and thought her frail and affected and a bit unreal. She could see that Dorina was sorry for Austin, and Mitzi even resented this slightly on his behalf, though of course she was sorry for Austin too. Then Austin announced his second marriage. Mitzi was faint with jealousy and remorse. Why had she never really tried, why had she not conceived that he might be in the mood for marriage? But her own egoism was tougher now. She had made dull quiet friends and expected little of life. She persuaded herself that her love for Austin had never been anything really personal, had never really filled her and become her love for Austin. It had been just a vague yearning, an ideal, something like what she felt when she came out of the cinema. Later, however, she was cheered by news of Austin’s troubles and woke every morning to a small glow which was the knowledge that Austin was unhappy. When she saw him very occasionally for a drink they behaved like old friends.
    â€˜What a shame! After all those years!’
    â€˜I could sue them I expect,’ said Austin. ‘But one can’t be small-minded. One has one’s dignity.’
    â€˜Of course one has! Let them see that you reject them!’
    â€˜That’s right. I reject them.’
    â€˜What a shame! And you came straight round here. I’m so glad.’
    â€˜You can help me, Mitzi,’ said Austin.
    â€˜You know I’d help you any way I could!’
    Austin was drinking powdered coffee in Mitzi’s little office. Although it was so early in the summer he contrived to look sunburnt. He had a long doggy nose and longish hair the colour of milk chocolate which he tucked back behind his ears. He wore a serene majestic expression and his steel-rimmed spectacles gleamed with a fine consciousness.
    â€˜Mitzi, I won’t beat about the bush. I’m broke.’
    Let me lend you something was on the tip of Mitzi’s tongue but she recalled that she was broke too. ‘I’m so sorry.’
    â€˜I shall soon get another job, of course.’
    â€˜Of course! A much better one.’
    â€˜A much better one. But meanwhile I’m in a fix. I thought I could manage if I let my flat. You can get big rents now.’
    â€˜Jolly good idea.’
    â€˜But then I’d need to live somewhere else, wouldn’t I?’
    â€˜Come and live with me,’ said Mitzi.
    â€˜Oh. Do you think I could? You did so kindly suggest it once before. I know you need to let the big rooms. But perhaps I could just sleep in the attic.’
    â€˜Certainly not,’ said Mitzi. ‘You can have one of the big rooms, one’s just gone empty.’
    â€˜But, Mitzi, I couldn’t pay you enough.’
    â€˜You can have it free. Don’t be silly, Austin, we’re old friends.’
    â€˜ Could I, Mitzi, honestly?’
    Ten guineas a week gone bang, she thought, and Secombe-Hughes offering another IOU. Still, Austin in her house! ‘You could pay me something later.’
    â€˜When I get a good job. Of course it may be difficult. I don’t want to take just anything. It may take time. I can’t promise, you know. I’d really rather — I mean, I could sleep just anywhere.’
    â€˜Austin, don’t worry about the money. You can have the room for nothing.’
    â€˜You’re a friend in need, Mitzi old girl.’ He clasped her hand, squeezed it, dropped it, looked relieved and reached for his coffee.
    Mitzi felt an old