Read Online America, You Sexy Bitch by Michael Black Meghan McCain - Free Book Online

sets us up in a couple of enormous, over-the-top suites. Each is easily as big as the first house Martha and I bought. There are multiple flatscreens, a big living room with a purple sectional on which to lounge, a vast dining table, small kitchen, plus a huge bedroom overlooking the Strip. My favorite feature is what Meghan dubs “the sex shower”: a large tiled room just off the bathroom sprouting about ten individual showerheads, which can be angled to hit whatever body part feels dirtiest. There’s also a dial that controls an intricate lighting system: you can choose between red, blue, or yellow lights, or any combination, either flashing or not. It’s like a Christmas display gone porno. Over the next three days, I spend a fair amount of time in the sex shower, although always by
myself, and there is never any sexual contact between anybody, including between me and me; I just like the shower.
    I always feel a little bad when people give me nice things, if only because I don’t believe that anything comes without a price tag. People don’t just give you shit; they always want something in return. This, of course, includes the government. The current Republican Party seems to worry about this problem a lot. That’s why they’re always bitching about “entitlement programs.” They fear that the people receiving benefits from these programs don’t realize that they have actual costs that other people—themselves—have to pay. In effect, they argue, the rich are subsidizing the poor. That’s what they’re talking about when they spout the phrase “redistribution of wealth.” The problem is that the wealth has already been redistributed—to the rich. The poor are actually subsidizing the rich, through globalization, lower wages, less benefits, and weaker unions. Both sides in the debate feel taken advantage of, which creates a lot of tension. Over the course of our stay in Vegas, I begin to believe that a lot of the unhappiness in this country could be solved if the government just started handing out sex showers.
     
    Meghan: I love Las Vegas. I love, love, love Las Vegas. Whenever anything is spiraling out of control in my life, whenever I need a break, whenever I want to be someone else for an evening (or a weekend, or a week, or whatever), as clichéd as this may seem, Las Vegas has always provided an answer for me. It’s pretty much the only place I frequent as a vacation destination, and I have been serendipitously intertwined in news cycles with the city throughout my adult life.
    In 2010, I fled to Las Vegas in the middle of my book tour for my campaign memoir Dirty, Sexy Politics , after cancelling a speech at Juniata College at the last minute. I had been on the road for weeks, and my boyfriend at the time broke up with me over email the day after my book release party, citing no other reason than “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t. I’m truly sorry from the bottom
of my heart.” I was distraught, but instead of going into an emotional tailspin over it, because sitting around crying and watching Nora Ephron movies simply isn’t my style, I went to Vegas on an emergency trip with a few of my close friends. It did not occur to me how harshly the student body would take my cancellation, nor how the media would crucify me for it. Listen, was this my finest moment or the smartest move I have ever made? No, of course not, but I was broken-hearted and exhausted from my media tour and not acting from an entirely rational place. I made a mistake, and when I make a mistake everyone in the world gets to judge it and leave a comment on the Internet about it.
    To put it lightly, the student body was not pleased about my tweets from Vegas, and did as much as they possibly could to notify the media about what a bad person I was for canceling on them and spending the time in Las Vegas instead. The incident created a small media firestorm and the next thing I knew, I was on the home pages