Read Online All Things Bright and Beautiful by James Herriot - Free Book Online
Authors: James Herriot
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Farnon?” he asked. He was a thick-set little man with a round, smooth-skinned face and mischievous eyes.
“I believe you have a cow with a bad eye,” Siegfried said. “Better begin with that.”
“Right squire,” the farmer cried, then he put his hand in his pocket. “But before we start, here’s something for you.” He pulled forth a stethoscope. “You left it last time you were ’ere.”
There was a silence, then Siegfried grunted a word of thanks and grabbed it hastily from his hand.
Mr. Kendall continued. “And the time afore that you left your bloodless castrators. We did a swop over, didn’t we? I gave you back the nippers and you left me the earphones.” He burst into a peal of laughter.
“Yes, yes, quite,” Siegfried snapped, glancing uneasily round at us, “but we must be getting on. where is…?”
“You know lads,” chuckled the farmer, turning to us. “Ah don’t think I’ve ever known ’im come here without leaving summat.”
“Really?” said Tristan interestedly.
“Aye, if I’d wanted to keep ’em all I’d have had a drawerful by now.”
“Is that so?” I said.
“Aye it is, young man. And it’s the same with all me neighbours. One feller said to me t’other day, ‘He’s a kind man is Mr. Farnon—never calls without leavin’ a souvenir.’” He threw back his head and laughed again.
We were enjoying the conversation but my partner was stalking up the byre. “Where’s this damn cow, Mr. Kendall? We haven’t got all day.”
The patient wasn’t hard to find; a nice light roan cow which looked round at us carefully, one eye almost closed. From between the lashes a trickle of tears made a dark stain down the hair of the face, and there was an eloquent story of pain in the cautious movements of the quivering lids.
“There’s something in there,” murmured Siegfried.
“Aye, ah know!” Mr. Kendall always knew. “She’s got a flippin’ great lump of chaff stuck on her eyeball but I can’t get to it. Look here.” He grabbed the cow’s nose with one hand and tried to prise the eyelids apart with the fingers of the other, but the third eyelid came across and the whole orbit rolled effortlessly out of sight leaving only a blank expanse of white sclera.
“There!” he cried. “Nowt to see. You can’t make her keep her eye still.”
“I can, though.” Siegfried turned to his brother. “Tristan, get the chloroform muzzle from the car. Look sharp!”
The young man was back in seconds and Siegfried quickly drew the canvas bag over the cow’s face and buckled it behind the ears. From a bottle of spirit he produced a small pair of forceps of an unusual type with tiny jaws operated by a spring. He poised them just over the closed eye.
“James,” he said, “Give her about an ounce.”
I dribbled the chloroform on to the sponge in the front of the muzzle. Nothing happened for a few moments while the animal took a few breaths then her eyes opened wide in surprise as the strange numbing vapour rolled into her lungs.
The whole area of the affected eye was displayed, with a broad golden piece of chaff splayed out across the dark cornea. I only had a glimpse of it before Siegfried’s little forceps had seized it and whisked it away.
“Squeeze in some of that ointment, Tristan,” said my partner. “And get the muzzle off, James, before she starts to rock.”
With the bag away from her face and the tormenting little object gone from her eye the cow looked around her, vastly relieved. The whole thing had taken only a minute or two and was as slick a little exhibition as you’d wish to see, but Mr. Kendall didn’t seem to think a great deal of it.
“Aye right,” he grunted. “Let’s get on with t’next job.”
As we went down the byre I looked out and saw a horse being led across the yard. Siegfried pointed to it.
“Is that the gelding I operated on for fistulous withers?” he asked.
“That’s the one.” The farmer’s voice was airy.
We
“I believe you have a cow with a bad eye,” Siegfried said. “Better begin with that.”
“Right squire,” the farmer cried, then he put his hand in his pocket. “But before we start, here’s something for you.” He pulled forth a stethoscope. “You left it last time you were ’ere.”
There was a silence, then Siegfried grunted a word of thanks and grabbed it hastily from his hand.
Mr. Kendall continued. “And the time afore that you left your bloodless castrators. We did a swop over, didn’t we? I gave you back the nippers and you left me the earphones.” He burst into a peal of laughter.
“Yes, yes, quite,” Siegfried snapped, glancing uneasily round at us, “but we must be getting on. where is…?”
“You know lads,” chuckled the farmer, turning to us. “Ah don’t think I’ve ever known ’im come here without leaving summat.”
“Really?” said Tristan interestedly.
“Aye, if I’d wanted to keep ’em all I’d have had a drawerful by now.”
“Is that so?” I said.
“Aye it is, young man. And it’s the same with all me neighbours. One feller said to me t’other day, ‘He’s a kind man is Mr. Farnon—never calls without leavin’ a souvenir.’” He threw back his head and laughed again.
We were enjoying the conversation but my partner was stalking up the byre. “Where’s this damn cow, Mr. Kendall? We haven’t got all day.”
The patient wasn’t hard to find; a nice light roan cow which looked round at us carefully, one eye almost closed. From between the lashes a trickle of tears made a dark stain down the hair of the face, and there was an eloquent story of pain in the cautious movements of the quivering lids.
“There’s something in there,” murmured Siegfried.
“Aye, ah know!” Mr. Kendall always knew. “She’s got a flippin’ great lump of chaff stuck on her eyeball but I can’t get to it. Look here.” He grabbed the cow’s nose with one hand and tried to prise the eyelids apart with the fingers of the other, but the third eyelid came across and the whole orbit rolled effortlessly out of sight leaving only a blank expanse of white sclera.
“There!” he cried. “Nowt to see. You can’t make her keep her eye still.”
“I can, though.” Siegfried turned to his brother. “Tristan, get the chloroform muzzle from the car. Look sharp!”
The young man was back in seconds and Siegfried quickly drew the canvas bag over the cow’s face and buckled it behind the ears. From a bottle of spirit he produced a small pair of forceps of an unusual type with tiny jaws operated by a spring. He poised them just over the closed eye.
“James,” he said, “Give her about an ounce.”
I dribbled the chloroform on to the sponge in the front of the muzzle. Nothing happened for a few moments while the animal took a few breaths then her eyes opened wide in surprise as the strange numbing vapour rolled into her lungs.
The whole area of the affected eye was displayed, with a broad golden piece of chaff splayed out across the dark cornea. I only had a glimpse of it before Siegfried’s little forceps had seized it and whisked it away.
“Squeeze in some of that ointment, Tristan,” said my partner. “And get the muzzle off, James, before she starts to rock.”
With the bag away from her face and the tormenting little object gone from her eye the cow looked around her, vastly relieved. The whole thing had taken only a minute or two and was as slick a little exhibition as you’d wish to see, but Mr. Kendall didn’t seem to think a great deal of it.
“Aye right,” he grunted. “Let’s get on with t’next job.”
As we went down the byre I looked out and saw a horse being led across the yard. Siegfried pointed to it.
“Is that the gelding I operated on for fistulous withers?” he asked.
“That’s the one.” The farmer’s voice was airy.
We
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