Read Online All Roads Lead Home by Mary Wasowski - Free Book Online

found the courage to look out through the window, he was gone. The bus began to pull away, and I was on my way to begin my new life. I was everything Jagger accused me of. I was selfish. Absorbed in only myself and not caring what I was leaving behind. No, that wasn’t true at all. I let him go. I set him free to begin again with someone who would be worthy of his love and wanted the life he wanted.
    I wanted to stay for my brother, but he wasn’t having it. I never wanted to leave Jagger. When I received my letter, I never considered how my relationship with him would change. Yes, I wanted more, but I wanted that with Jagger, and hoped we would be on the new road to our future. And now it’s just too late. What happened, happened, and I will live with my choices.
    Wendy and I talked through the night before I was set to leave. She knew me better than anyone. There was nothing I could get past her. She tried to change my mind, but I was firm with my decision. I wasn’t ready for marriage. I was twenty two. A college graduate and leaving home once again to begin law school. I wanted to leave and not be judged for my decisions. Living life on the ranch was all I knew. Did it make me a bad person for wanting more from my life? I didn’t think it did. Shane promised we would always be friends, and Jagger swore he could never move past from the hurt I caused him, but yet? He showed up and asked me to marry him. How could I? I not only hurt Jagger once, but then again when I refused his proposal. I returned his kindness with saying no and by leaving him once again.
     
     
    I re-read my brother’s letter over and over again until my eyes were so blurred from my tears, I couldn’t see the words in front of me. How could Jamie do this to me? He refused me when I begged him to allow me to come home and be at his side during the time he had left. He said he wanted me to remember him on the day I left for school and not as a shell of a man dying in front of me. Now I get a letter five years later to ask me if I’m happy.
    “Who the fuck does that to another person? Oh yeah, my brother does!” I screamed out for no one to hear me. “Yeah, I said it. You’re not here to scold me, but your letter is detailing my mistakes in living color. Thanks for that, bro. So much for having my back.”
    I was angry, hurt, and way too hung over to entertain this any longer. I tossed the letter and wiped my tears. I made up my mind and decided not to give the letter or my past any more power over me. I was in and out of the shower within five minutes. I spent less time on choosing my outfit for the day.
    “Yes! I think today calls for Freddy Mac. He is one of my favorite designers to wear. It’s perfect for what I need today.”
    I slipped on my matching Jimmy Choo stilettos to complete my look. Oh Yeah! I was ready. On the outside, I looked good. Power suit, killer heels, and my take no prisoner attitude.
    I love my choice. I chose my choice. If I say it enough times, maybe I’ll believe it.
    I paused for a moment in front of my floor length mirror and silently prayed that I could pull myself out of my darkness. Don’t give up, Tenley, the beginning is always the hardest. Daddy always used to say that when we were training a new horse. He was always there for me to catch me when I fell, but encouraged me to get back up until the reluctant horse became my friend. I took one last look, and then I was off.
    I couldn’t afford to waste any more time. I had a job to get to.

 
     
    I REACHED MY office by noon. Not too bad considering the condition I was in this morning. I grappled with the hangover headache, one of many consequences I will have to deal with today due to my reckless behavior.
    My phone had gone off non-stop, no doubt after Tommy discovered I was gone. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. I’m shamed enough. I don’t need any reminders. I reached the executive floor where a trio of efficient receptionists were