minute, so I bolted out of the house and ran straight to my sister’s house.
Chapter 10
E ven though I knew I’d never go back to Tom and that our marriage had died years ago, my heart still ached. I wasn’t sure why I’d even fought so hard, for so long, because my love for him had faded too. I just wanted to be able to tell my children that I had given it my all, which I had. Telling Tom how I truly felt was the hardest part, because I had once loved and adored him. We had shared so much together, and leaving him was like losing a friend I saw every single day.
When I got back to Alexis’s house, I thanked Juliet for watching the kids. She offered to stick around, but I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t have the heart to tell my children the harsh truth, not yet.
After they went to bed, Alexis came home, and we shared a few beers on the back porch.
“Well? How’d it go?” Alexis asked.
“It was...painful.”
She hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was also kind of liberating to finally let go of him. I’m just gonna dust myself off and move on. I have to.”
“I admire you, sis. That took guts, and you’re so damn strong.”
“I just hope I did the right thing,” I said, sipping my beer.
“You’ve gone long enough without passion, without sex. When months become years, it’s a huge red flag.”
“I know. You’re right. A sexless marriage is doomed to frustration, loneliness, heartache, and misery, and I’m just not ready to give up that part of my life.”
“I even Googled it.”
“You did?”
“Yep. Newsweek estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are stuck in that kind of hell, so at least you weren’t alone. Even old people love sex. I’m sure I’ll still be jumping my man’s bones when we’re old and wrinkled.”
“Don’t jump too hard. Bones get pretty brittle at that age.”
We both laughed.
Alexis grabbed a notebook and said, “Well, spill it.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Give me the list, everything you want in your next relationship. I read this online. It will help you heal and will give you a roadmap for rebuilding your life. So, what do you want most in your next boyfriend?”
“I just want somebody to love me, somebody to hold me, somebody who wants to be with me for me. I don’t care what he looks like. I married a gorgeous man, and that got me nowhere.”
“Well, whoever you date, he’s gonna be a lucky guy.”
“Think I have too much baggage?”
“Who doesn’t? Hell, we oughtta all buy stock in Samsonite. If he loves you for you, he won’t care about a few extra suitcases.”
I smiled. “You’ve always been there for me, sis.”
“Yeah? Well, who stayed up all night and helped me polish off a gallon of chocolate ice cream when Timmy dumped me?”
I raised my hand. “Guilty, as charged.”
“We’ve got each other’s backs,” she said. “That’s what sisters are for.”
I held up my hand, and we wrapped our pinkies together in the same swear we used to make as children.
“I’m gonna call Forrest and cancel our date. I shouldn’t have agreed to go out with him, but I guess he sorta swept me off my feet in a very vulnerable moment.”
“Honey, any attention to a guy is gonna bring you to your knees for a while. Heck, it’s a good thing Harvey didn’t lick you too much, or you might’ve gone out with him.”
I laughed. “You’re right, but I still need to cancel. Forrest seems like a nice enough guy, but I need to get my life straightened out before I jump into a relationship.”
“Girlfriend, it’s one date, not a relationship. You’re going out to dinner or a movie, not picking out china. What’s wrong with a little companionship?”
“It’s too soon. Tom and I just broke up.”
“I don’t think there’s such thing as too soon. Besides, you’ve been over Tom for years. It’s not like you’re just on the rebound.”
I stared off into the distance. “I’m sure this hot guy’s after a
Chapter 10
E ven though I knew I’d never go back to Tom and that our marriage had died years ago, my heart still ached. I wasn’t sure why I’d even fought so hard, for so long, because my love for him had faded too. I just wanted to be able to tell my children that I had given it my all, which I had. Telling Tom how I truly felt was the hardest part, because I had once loved and adored him. We had shared so much together, and leaving him was like losing a friend I saw every single day.
When I got back to Alexis’s house, I thanked Juliet for watching the kids. She offered to stick around, but I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t have the heart to tell my children the harsh truth, not yet.
After they went to bed, Alexis came home, and we shared a few beers on the back porch.
“Well? How’d it go?” Alexis asked.
“It was...painful.”
She hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was also kind of liberating to finally let go of him. I’m just gonna dust myself off and move on. I have to.”
“I admire you, sis. That took guts, and you’re so damn strong.”
“I just hope I did the right thing,” I said, sipping my beer.
“You’ve gone long enough without passion, without sex. When months become years, it’s a huge red flag.”
“I know. You’re right. A sexless marriage is doomed to frustration, loneliness, heartache, and misery, and I’m just not ready to give up that part of my life.”
“I even Googled it.”
“You did?”
“Yep. Newsweek estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are stuck in that kind of hell, so at least you weren’t alone. Even old people love sex. I’m sure I’ll still be jumping my man’s bones when we’re old and wrinkled.”
“Don’t jump too hard. Bones get pretty brittle at that age.”
We both laughed.
Alexis grabbed a notebook and said, “Well, spill it.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Give me the list, everything you want in your next relationship. I read this online. It will help you heal and will give you a roadmap for rebuilding your life. So, what do you want most in your next boyfriend?”
“I just want somebody to love me, somebody to hold me, somebody who wants to be with me for me. I don’t care what he looks like. I married a gorgeous man, and that got me nowhere.”
“Well, whoever you date, he’s gonna be a lucky guy.”
“Think I have too much baggage?”
“Who doesn’t? Hell, we oughtta all buy stock in Samsonite. If he loves you for you, he won’t care about a few extra suitcases.”
I smiled. “You’ve always been there for me, sis.”
“Yeah? Well, who stayed up all night and helped me polish off a gallon of chocolate ice cream when Timmy dumped me?”
I raised my hand. “Guilty, as charged.”
“We’ve got each other’s backs,” she said. “That’s what sisters are for.”
I held up my hand, and we wrapped our pinkies together in the same swear we used to make as children.
“I’m gonna call Forrest and cancel our date. I shouldn’t have agreed to go out with him, but I guess he sorta swept me off my feet in a very vulnerable moment.”
“Honey, any attention to a guy is gonna bring you to your knees for a while. Heck, it’s a good thing Harvey didn’t lick you too much, or you might’ve gone out with him.”
I laughed. “You’re right, but I still need to cancel. Forrest seems like a nice enough guy, but I need to get my life straightened out before I jump into a relationship.”
“Girlfriend, it’s one date, not a relationship. You’re going out to dinner or a movie, not picking out china. What’s wrong with a little companionship?”
“It’s too soon. Tom and I just broke up.”
“I don’t think there’s such thing as too soon. Besides, you’ve been over Tom for years. It’s not like you’re just on the rebound.”
I stared off into the distance. “I’m sure this hot guy’s after a
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