Read Online Acquainted With the Night by Erica Abbott - Free Book Online

that.”
    Nicole clinked the ice in her glass. “I know,” she said quietly.
    “So who was it?”
    “What? Oh, another attorney. I’ve known him a while. He’s been divorced for a few years, and has a son a couple of years older than Charlie. We would swap child-raising stories sometimes. He’s a nice guy. I’ve never heard him trash his ex-wife, for example. Seems like a good father, at least.”
    Something in her voice caught Alex’s attention. “Did you say yes? To going out, I mean?”
    Nicole took another drink. “Sort of. He’s got his son a week from Saturday. We’re taking the boys to the Avalanche game in the afternoon. We’re meeting them there, and probably going for pizza or something after. Not much of a date, chaperoned by a couple of elementary schoolers. But sometimes—I don’t know, Alex, I guess I just get lonely for a little adult male conversation that isn’t about depositions and subpoenas.”
    “It’s okay, Nic.”
    She sighed. “Is it? A year ago, I thought I knew what my life would be. Now, David’s gone and I have to start thinking differently. I mean, Charlie lost his father.”
    “You don’t have to find him another one, Nic.”
    “I know. I know you’re right, I just keep thinking. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life. I miss David every single day, but I don’t owe his memory the rest of my life, do I?”
    How was she supposed to answer that? “Of course not,” Alex answered.
    Nicole put her glass down on the table with a sharp clank. “You think I’m a terrible person.”
    “Don’t be ridiculous,” Alex said forcefully. “You’re my sister and you’ve been through something awful. I want you to be happy, that’s all.”
    “For a long time after David died,” Nicole said, “I didn’t want to be happy. At first, I couldn’t be, and then, when it got a little easier, I felt guilty.”
    “Survivors usually feel guilty.”
    “I know. I’m thankful for the grief support group you recommended. They’ve really been great. I think—for the first time, I think I can see that I might be able to be happy again. Not today, or tomorrow, but someday.”
    “Maybe Saturday,” Alex said gently.
    Nicole laughed a little. “Not quite that soon,” she admitted. “But someday. Jesus, Alex. I really miss sleeping with someone else. Not just sex, although that, too. Just being held by somebody when the lights go out.”
    “Yes,” Alex said, her voice almost a whisper. “I know.”
    Nicole turned to her. “God, I’m an insensitive jerk. Alex, I’m sorry.”
    “You don’t have to apologize, Nic. It’s not quite the same.”
    “Isn’t it? I mean, I know David’s never coming back, but lonely is lonely, however it happens.”
    Alex drank coffee and felt the warmth and the bitter taste of it on her tongue. “Paul said something today about how he should have tried to warn me that relationships ‘like that’ wouldn’t last.”
    Nicole said angrily, “I hope you told him off.”
    “I did, and I wasn’t very gentle about it, either,” Alex admitted. “God, Nic, how could he even think that? It was as if he thought we were just playing at marriage, or something. Although,” she added bitterly, “maybe one of us was.”
    “You don’t believe that,” Nicole said strongly.
    Alex looked up at the stars. “I don’t know what the hell I believe anymore. How could she leave me, Nic? What did I do? What didn’t I do? I don’t have a fucking clue.”
    After a long pause, Nicole said softly, “Alex, maybe you should see somebody. A professional, I mean. You’re grieving, too.”
    “I’m ahead of you. I saw a therapist last week. My second appointment is tomorrow.”
    Nicole gripped her wrist. “I’m really glad. And I’m proud of you. I know how hard it is for you to admit you need help.”
    “I need something,” Alex admitted. “I can’t live like this. It’s killing me inch by inch, Nic. Living without her is destroying me.”
    Nicole