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Authors: Catherine M. Wilson
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it?"
"No."
"Your bow has taken life, a warrior's life. That makes it strong. If I were to choose a sword, I would choose one that has tasted blood over a blade brought new from the forge."
"Why?"
"Just like a person, a weapon that has been tested can be relied on."
"So I can trust my bow because it has taken life?"
"You must first trust yourself," said Maara. "But you can trust that your weapon has at least as much courage as its master." She looked at me appraisingly. "When you set your foot upon the warrior's path, had you not considered all that it entails?"
"All the women of my family were warriors. It's the path I was always meant to take."
Maara frowned. "Was it not your own choice?"
"It was the path I wanted. I never wanted anything else."
"You never considered anything else?"
"What else is there?"
"There is more than one path to power," Maara said. "You could have become a healer or followed the path of wisdom like Namet."
"Namet was first a warrior," I reminded her.
"That's true," she said. "And like Namet you may find that your true path lies elsewhere but that you must take the warrior's path to find it."
I couldn't imagine that someday I might be as wise or as powerful as Namet. I thought I would be satisfied just to become a warrior, something that until only a short time ago I had suspected might not be within my reach.
"In the meantime," Maara said, "you must understand that at the heart of power is the willingness to use it. At the heart of a warrior's power is the willingness to take a life, in order to preserve her own life and the lives of others. The taking of life is a responsibility you will have to bear, and before you become a warrior, you must decide if you're willing to bear it. When you go into battle, there will be no time to ask yourself that question."
When you go into battle.
A shiver of anxiety went through me.
"Of course every path carries its own responsibility," said Maara. "A healer takes responsibility for the lives in her care. And Namet has certainly made choices that meant life or death for many. But to stand before a living person and take an action that may end that person's life is not something everyone can do. To be unable to do it is not a shameful thing, but you must be honest with yourself about it before you put lives at risk. Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"Every time you draw your bow, I want you to feel the power in it. Let your weapon guide you into an understanding of what it means to wield the power of life and death."
She saw that I didn't understand.
"Never mind," she said. "It's too soon for you to think about that."
The next morning I was still sound asleep when Maara came to the companions' loft. I slipped out of Sparrow's arms without disturbing her and followed Maara down to the kitchen, carrying my clothes with me so that I could dress without waking the companions.
"Wait for me here," Maara said, and she went back in the direction of the great hall.
It didn't take me long to dress. While I was waiting for Maara to return, I made us each a bowl of nettle tea with honey. I usually had no trouble waking up in the mornings, but the night before I had stayed up later than I should have talking to Sparrow, and the sweet tea cleared my groggy head.
"Who's there?" Gnith's voice came from the direction of the hearth.
"It's me, Mother. Tamras."
I went to sit beside her and offered her a sip of my tea.
"You're up early," Gnith said.
"I'm sorry I woke you, Mother."
"Wasn't sleeping." She took a long drink of my tea.
"My warrior got me up early today. We're going hunting."
"Hunting? Hunting for what?"
"I don't know."
"Then how will you know when you've caught it?" She cackled at her own joke.
I couldn't help laughing with her. "Maara knows what we're hunting. I imagine she'll let me know."
"Mmmm," said Gnith, as she finished the last swallow of my tea. "Bring some more."
I set another bowl to steep and brought her the tea I had brewed for
"No."
"Your bow has taken life, a warrior's life. That makes it strong. If I were to choose a sword, I would choose one that has tasted blood over a blade brought new from the forge."
"Why?"
"Just like a person, a weapon that has been tested can be relied on."
"So I can trust my bow because it has taken life?"
"You must first trust yourself," said Maara. "But you can trust that your weapon has at least as much courage as its master." She looked at me appraisingly. "When you set your foot upon the warrior's path, had you not considered all that it entails?"
"All the women of my family were warriors. It's the path I was always meant to take."
Maara frowned. "Was it not your own choice?"
"It was the path I wanted. I never wanted anything else."
"You never considered anything else?"
"What else is there?"
"There is more than one path to power," Maara said. "You could have become a healer or followed the path of wisdom like Namet."
"Namet was first a warrior," I reminded her.
"That's true," she said. "And like Namet you may find that your true path lies elsewhere but that you must take the warrior's path to find it."
I couldn't imagine that someday I might be as wise or as powerful as Namet. I thought I would be satisfied just to become a warrior, something that until only a short time ago I had suspected might not be within my reach.
"In the meantime," Maara said, "you must understand that at the heart of power is the willingness to use it. At the heart of a warrior's power is the willingness to take a life, in order to preserve her own life and the lives of others. The taking of life is a responsibility you will have to bear, and before you become a warrior, you must decide if you're willing to bear it. When you go into battle, there will be no time to ask yourself that question."
When you go into battle.
A shiver of anxiety went through me.
"Of course every path carries its own responsibility," said Maara. "A healer takes responsibility for the lives in her care. And Namet has certainly made choices that meant life or death for many. But to stand before a living person and take an action that may end that person's life is not something everyone can do. To be unable to do it is not a shameful thing, but you must be honest with yourself about it before you put lives at risk. Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"Every time you draw your bow, I want you to feel the power in it. Let your weapon guide you into an understanding of what it means to wield the power of life and death."
She saw that I didn't understand.
"Never mind," she said. "It's too soon for you to think about that."
The next morning I was still sound asleep when Maara came to the companions' loft. I slipped out of Sparrow's arms without disturbing her and followed Maara down to the kitchen, carrying my clothes with me so that I could dress without waking the companions.
"Wait for me here," Maara said, and she went back in the direction of the great hall.
It didn't take me long to dress. While I was waiting for Maara to return, I made us each a bowl of nettle tea with honey. I usually had no trouble waking up in the mornings, but the night before I had stayed up later than I should have talking to Sparrow, and the sweet tea cleared my groggy head.
"Who's there?" Gnith's voice came from the direction of the hearth.
"It's me, Mother. Tamras."
I went to sit beside her and offered her a sip of my tea.
"You're up early," Gnith said.
"I'm sorry I woke you, Mother."
"Wasn't sleeping." She took a long drink of my tea.
"My warrior got me up early today. We're going hunting."
"Hunting? Hunting for what?"
"I don't know."
"Then how will you know when you've caught it?" She cackled at her own joke.
I couldn't help laughing with her. "Maara knows what we're hunting. I imagine she'll let me know."
"Mmmm," said Gnith, as she finished the last swallow of my tea. "Bring some more."
I set another bowl to steep and brought her the tea I had brewed for
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