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Book: A Fashionably Dead Christmas: Hot Damned Series, Book 5 by Robyn Peterman
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Authors: Robyn Peterman
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hanging in the air. I might be pissed, but I wasn’t cruel.
They ran for cover amidst a whole bunch of shouting and screeching.
Ethan swore viciously and hurled the grenade at the back wall of the Great Room away from everyone. With his Vampyre strength, it shot like a bullet out of a sub-machine gun.
Blobbityflonk heaved a huge sigh of relief that the day had been saved. However, I knew better—far better.
I put my hands over Samuel’s ears and shut my eyes.
And that’s when the grenade exploded, blowing the entire back wall of the Cressida house right off its foundation.
Through the smoke and haze, I noted that it was a lovely, sunny day outside.
Well, at least there was that.
I let my head drop and the tears flow. This would go down in history as the worst December 25th ever. Merry Fucking Christmas.
Chapter 8
“Is everyone alright?” Ethan yelled as he pulled the pile off of me, Samuel and Steve Perry.
The muffled chorus of yeses eased my panic. Everyone was accounted for. This was a horrific day for us all… but I was certain it was the worst day of Steve Perry’s life.
Samuel was completely unharmed. I expected him to be upset, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was grinning from ear to ear and giggling.
“Again, Daddy. Do it again,” he insisted as he clapped his hands gleefully.
“No can do, little man,” Ethan said wearily as he wrapped his arms around both of us and held on tight.
I gently extracted myself and took in the room. Silently I walked around and examined what was left of the beautiful Christmas I wanted to give my son and my family.
My utter misery over losing my beautiful Christmas was showing on my face. No one uttered a word. Smart people…
Nothing. Nothing was left—no presents, no tree, no decorations, no food, no blood, no Nut Cracker with a boner, no Baby Jesuses… nothing.
And of course, that’s when everyone else started to arrive.
In they came, each looking dazed and concerned as they took in the disaster.
Venus, Paris Hilton and Ethan’s sister, Raquel looked around in dismay, but stayed quiet. The vibe in the room was evident to all. They hugged me and made their way over to Samuel.
All were bearing gifts meant to be placed under the tree, but there was nothing but an electrocuted twig left of the formerly beautiful Christmas tree. Still, they placed them there.
“Assbuckle, you want to clue me in as to what the fuck happened here?” Pam, my Guardian Angel, demanded. Her hands were on her shapely hips as she entered into the room in a breezy burst of magic. “I spent four days in what used to be this room, putting all that shit up.”
She stood with the King—her mate and Ethan’s father. They both appeared shocked and confused. Who wouldn’t be?
“We had a few little issues yesterday and today,” I mumbled and let my head fall back on my shoulders.
I would not cry. I would not cry.
“Little?” She laughed and gave me a big hug and a sloppy kiss on my cheek. “You give me a list of those issues and I’ll kick the issue’s asses. You hear me?” she asked quietly.
“Yes, Pam. I hear you,” I said as I hugged her back.
“PS… you forgot your pants too,” she added with a cackle.
“It’s the new look,” I told her with a wince.
“Lord help us all,” she muttered as she stomped across the room and placed a mountain of gifts beneath the tree .
My more normal cousins and their father came next. Heathcliff, Cathy and Sir James entered cautiously. Heathcliff’s longing look at Raquel wasn’t lost on me, but there was no time for me to play matchmaker at the moment. I had a party to host… or what was left of one.
“My God,” Heathcliff sputtered and gave a low whistle as he glanced around.
“I see you did some major redecorating since yesterday. I like it,” he announced with a grin and
They ran for cover amidst a whole bunch of shouting and screeching.
Ethan swore viciously and hurled the grenade at the back wall of the Great Room away from everyone. With his Vampyre strength, it shot like a bullet out of a sub-machine gun.
Blobbityflonk heaved a huge sigh of relief that the day had been saved. However, I knew better—far better.
I put my hands over Samuel’s ears and shut my eyes.
And that’s when the grenade exploded, blowing the entire back wall of the Cressida house right off its foundation.
Through the smoke and haze, I noted that it was a lovely, sunny day outside.
Well, at least there was that.
I let my head drop and the tears flow. This would go down in history as the worst December 25th ever. Merry Fucking Christmas.
Chapter 8
“Is everyone alright?” Ethan yelled as he pulled the pile off of me, Samuel and Steve Perry.
The muffled chorus of yeses eased my panic. Everyone was accounted for. This was a horrific day for us all… but I was certain it was the worst day of Steve Perry’s life.
Samuel was completely unharmed. I expected him to be upset, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was grinning from ear to ear and giggling.
“Again, Daddy. Do it again,” he insisted as he clapped his hands gleefully.
“No can do, little man,” Ethan said wearily as he wrapped his arms around both of us and held on tight.
I gently extracted myself and took in the room. Silently I walked around and examined what was left of the beautiful Christmas I wanted to give my son and my family.
My utter misery over losing my beautiful Christmas was showing on my face. No one uttered a word. Smart people…
Nothing. Nothing was left—no presents, no tree, no decorations, no food, no blood, no Nut Cracker with a boner, no Baby Jesuses… nothing.
And of course, that’s when everyone else started to arrive.
In they came, each looking dazed and concerned as they took in the disaster.
Venus, Paris Hilton and Ethan’s sister, Raquel looked around in dismay, but stayed quiet. The vibe in the room was evident to all. They hugged me and made their way over to Samuel.
All were bearing gifts meant to be placed under the tree, but there was nothing but an electrocuted twig left of the formerly beautiful Christmas tree. Still, they placed them there.
“Assbuckle, you want to clue me in as to what the fuck happened here?” Pam, my Guardian Angel, demanded. Her hands were on her shapely hips as she entered into the room in a breezy burst of magic. “I spent four days in what used to be this room, putting all that shit up.”
She stood with the King—her mate and Ethan’s father. They both appeared shocked and confused. Who wouldn’t be?
“We had a few little issues yesterday and today,” I mumbled and let my head fall back on my shoulders.
I would not cry. I would not cry.
“Little?” She laughed and gave me a big hug and a sloppy kiss on my cheek. “You give me a list of those issues and I’ll kick the issue’s asses. You hear me?” she asked quietly.
“Yes, Pam. I hear you,” I said as I hugged her back.
“PS… you forgot your pants too,” she added with a cackle.
“It’s the new look,” I told her with a wince.
“Lord help us all,” she muttered as she stomped across the room and placed a mountain of gifts beneath the tree .
My more normal cousins and their father came next. Heathcliff, Cathy and Sir James entered cautiously. Heathcliff’s longing look at Raquel wasn’t lost on me, but there was no time for me to play matchmaker at the moment. I had a party to host… or what was left of one.
“My God,” Heathcliff sputtered and gave a low whistle as he glanced around.
“I see you did some major redecorating since yesterday. I like it,” he announced with a grin and
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