Read Online A Bitter Magic by Roderick Townley - Free Book Online

Elwyn and his bathtub swims. Where is Elwyn when I need him?
    And Mother?
    And that mysterious being known as a father?
    How often I’ve fantasized about meeting him, bychance, on a street in a foreign city. Fantasized about what he’d look like, what he’d wear. He’d be handsome, of course. And hurt in some way that kept him from coming back to us, although he wanted to. Longed to.
    No one here will tell me anything about him. It’s like he never existed. Did he do something shameful? Is he in prison? Did he die in a shipwreck?
    I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and tell my reflection it’s okay to be lonely. It’s okay to feel this icicle lodged in my chest. It’s just part of me. Maybe it always has been, even when Mother was here. Here and not here.
    Without my loneliness, would Cisley be Cisley?
    Without his woundedness, would Asa be Asa?
    I go and push the window open. Beneath the full moon, the town is tightly tucked, the firth a coverlet drawn up to its chin. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker, all asleep. All with families to dream about. And here I am—in a castle, no less—without mother, father, or friends. I’ve been
kept
from having friends. I thought Cole might be one, but it looks like he’s got all the friends he can use. Even a girlfriend!
    And how much of a friend can Miss Porlock be, kind as she is? Tonight, ten minutes after Uncle Asa left with my untouched tray, Miss P. timidly knocked, avid to know everything.
    “He wants you to
work
with him?” Porlock shook her graying curls. “That doesn’t sound like Asa.”
    “Surprised me, too.”
    “Are you going to do it?”
    A shrug isn’t much of a response, I know.
    “Cisley?”
    “I don’t know. Sure. Why not?”
    “He forbids you to go anywhere
near
the laboratory, and now—”
    “I know.”
    “I don’t know what to say.”
    I turned to her with a weak smile. “You could say good luck.”
    “Oh, I do say that. I do.”
    Dear old Miss P.
    —
    Sometime before dawn I must have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes I’m on the window seat, my body stiff, and the maid is knocking with my breakfast.
    Food and a bath help shake me awake. I’m ready to explore. Out in the corridor, I turn in the direction of Mother’s rooms. The floor is level today, but before I go far, I’m confronted with that damnable Mirror Maze, reconfigured and more confusing than ever. Many of the glass panels reflect me in some grotesque form; but several reflect people I know. There, just to the right, stands Mr. Strunk, one hand in his pocket, jingling his keys as he inspects the wiring behind a panel.
    “Mr. Strunk!” I call out, heading for him through prisms of glass. I almost bloody my nose bumping into a mirror that is not a mirror at all but a clear window.By the time I reach the place where Strunk was, he’s nowhere to be seen. He was never there to begin with.
    What does Asa need real magic for when he can do this?
    I feel my way forward—or is it backward?—through this glowing ice cave of reflections. Rounding an invisible corner, I see up ahead a reflection I never would have expected:
Cole Havens!
    How did Asa know about Cole? How did he manage to capture his image in the glass? And a greater question: how did he animate that image to make Cole appear to look up at me and smile?
    “Well,” says the image of Cole.
    I’m speechless—not usual for me. I feel my way forward, catching a strong whiff of sawdust, sweat, and…
Cole!
    I break into an astonished smile that’s a moment away from tears. I touch his arm. “Is it you?”
    He laughs in a way not even Asa could counterfeit. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to reflect on that.”
    My mouth must be open, but no words come out.
    “Actually,” he says, “I’m lost.”
    It takes a few seconds to remember I’m angry at him. “What are you doing here?”
    “I was looking for you.”
    Don’t you try that boyish smile on me!
    “I was easy enough to find,” I answer in my