dictated in a best friends got herself a boyfriend scenario, and she promised to phone me back tomorrow , hopefully with all the gory details.
So, I thought as I closed my mobile, Shelley’s been seeing Nick. And unbelievably for Shelley after several dates she still liked him , liked him enough to invite him round to hers on a Tuesday night, I couldn’t get over the whole Tuesday thing. I couldn’t see Rob again, but she could see his mate Nick. Life was so unfair.
At that moment I hated my body, I hated the baby that was controlling my body and making it do things I didn’t want it to , and even though I’d sworn off relationships long before there was a baby to hate I was green as grass envious of Shelley and her new bloke, so I hated her as well.
I knew the hating Shelley thing was only temporary, but as for how I felt about the baby and what was happening to my body . . . well that was of a more permanent nature .
8
14 th August – week 11
This morning I was due for my duty visit from Mum. I’d spent most of y esterday cleaning and tidying in preparation for the monthly state visit , and was now sipping tea at my very small dining table, seated on the roomiest chair natch, and waiting with decidedly un-bated breath for the appointed hour .
She was right on time, and didn’t disappoint in the disapproval expectation department, as the first thing she said was wasn’t it about time I cleaned my windows, followed closely by what was that rubbish I was listening to on the radio. It was Heart FM for God’s sake, what was she tone deaf? I gritted my teeth and smiled, no easy feat, and let the all too familiar criticisms pass without comment.
I made tea for her and another cup for myself, I was really getting into this tea thing and couldn’t get enough of the stuff, an d prepared myself for round two that was sure to follow.
‘So what have you been up to, still staying out till all hours on a Saturday night with those friends of yours I suppose . . .’
‘No Mum I haven’t I’ve . . .’
‘Don’t bother trying to tell me any different because it’s obvious you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, you look awful, those dark circles under your eyes are a dead giveaway and . . .’
‘Mum I haven’t been out on a Saturday for . . .’
‘I knew when you first started hanging round with those girls that you’d end up in trouble one day, and now look at you . I t’ll start affecting your work you know all this partying and late nights, and then you’ll get the sack. Well don’t say I didn’t warn you , if you’d just try . . .’
I didn’t interrupt again, it was easier to just let her have her rant and get it out of the way, then we might be able to have five minutes at least of normal conversation before she went home again. I sipped my tea and tuned out for a while.
‘And why are you drinking tea? You hate tea. Judy are you listening to me? I said why are you drinking tea?’
‘Tea? oh yes tea.’ Damm and blast it I’d forgotten that I’m not supposed to like tea. ‘I don’t know I just fancied it, weird huh ?’
‘Very, after all this time, and you just sudd enly decided you like it now did you? ’
‘ Yes something like that. ’ I said evasively, to which she pulled a querying look, but didn’t offer any more comments on the subject thank goodness.
‘Well I’ve had my stomach problem again, it’s my ulcer, you’ve no idea how it plays me up, and just when I thought I’d got it under control with that diet the doctor gave me, and I’ve been so careful, but now it’s . . .’
I tuned out again while I waited for the monthly countdown of ailments to run its course. There were a couple of new ones this visit, but a couple of the old favourites seemed to have been dropped so it all came out about even in the ‘you don’t know how I suffer’ stakes.
I got up to wash the cups up and as I stood at the sink, sideways on to Mum, she paused for a moment from her
So, I thought as I closed my mobile, Shelley’s been seeing Nick. And unbelievably for Shelley after several dates she still liked him , liked him enough to invite him round to hers on a Tuesday night, I couldn’t get over the whole Tuesday thing. I couldn’t see Rob again, but she could see his mate Nick. Life was so unfair.
At that moment I hated my body, I hated the baby that was controlling my body and making it do things I didn’t want it to , and even though I’d sworn off relationships long before there was a baby to hate I was green as grass envious of Shelley and her new bloke, so I hated her as well.
I knew the hating Shelley thing was only temporary, but as for how I felt about the baby and what was happening to my body . . . well that was of a more permanent nature .
8
14 th August – week 11
This morning I was due for my duty visit from Mum. I’d spent most of y esterday cleaning and tidying in preparation for the monthly state visit , and was now sipping tea at my very small dining table, seated on the roomiest chair natch, and waiting with decidedly un-bated breath for the appointed hour .
She was right on time, and didn’t disappoint in the disapproval expectation department, as the first thing she said was wasn’t it about time I cleaned my windows, followed closely by what was that rubbish I was listening to on the radio. It was Heart FM for God’s sake, what was she tone deaf? I gritted my teeth and smiled, no easy feat, and let the all too familiar criticisms pass without comment.
I made tea for her and another cup for myself, I was really getting into this tea thing and couldn’t get enough of the stuff, an d prepared myself for round two that was sure to follow.
‘So what have you been up to, still staying out till all hours on a Saturday night with those friends of yours I suppose . . .’
‘No Mum I haven’t I’ve . . .’
‘Don’t bother trying to tell me any different because it’s obvious you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, you look awful, those dark circles under your eyes are a dead giveaway and . . .’
‘Mum I haven’t been out on a Saturday for . . .’
‘I knew when you first started hanging round with those girls that you’d end up in trouble one day, and now look at you . I t’ll start affecting your work you know all this partying and late nights, and then you’ll get the sack. Well don’t say I didn’t warn you , if you’d just try . . .’
I didn’t interrupt again, it was easier to just let her have her rant and get it out of the way, then we might be able to have five minutes at least of normal conversation before she went home again. I sipped my tea and tuned out for a while.
‘And why are you drinking tea? You hate tea. Judy are you listening to me? I said why are you drinking tea?’
‘Tea? oh yes tea.’ Damm and blast it I’d forgotten that I’m not supposed to like tea. ‘I don’t know I just fancied it, weird huh ?’
‘Very, after all this time, and you just sudd enly decided you like it now did you? ’
‘ Yes something like that. ’ I said evasively, to which she pulled a querying look, but didn’t offer any more comments on the subject thank goodness.
‘Well I’ve had my stomach problem again, it’s my ulcer, you’ve no idea how it plays me up, and just when I thought I’d got it under control with that diet the doctor gave me, and I’ve been so careful, but now it’s . . .’
I tuned out again while I waited for the monthly countdown of ailments to run its course. There were a couple of new ones this visit, but a couple of the old favourites seemed to have been dropped so it all came out about even in the ‘you don’t know how I suffer’ stakes.
I got up to wash the cups up and as I stood at the sink, sideways on to Mum, she paused for a moment from her
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