Read Online Zarr, Sara - Sweethearts by Sweethearts - Free Book Online Page B

he ate with his right, the space he took up when both his elbows were on the table. I was suddenly aware that I'd been staring at him, and everyone else at the table was staring at me. They were all done with their lunches. I wondered how much time had passed. "Urn," Katy said to me, "are you all right?" Steph caught my eye and smiled slowly. "Oh, yeah." I concentrated on my half sandwich trying to think of something witty to say, but I was in total Jennifer Harris territory now, spacing out and forgetting how to make simple conversation. Cameron picked up his empty tray. "Nice to meet you all. See you later." He lifted a finger toward me. "Bye, Jennifer." We watched him leave, then Gil said, "How come he calls you Jennifer?" I crumpled up my lunch bag. "Because that used to be my name." "Really?" Ethan said. "I didn't know that." "I changed it a long time ago." "He's shy," Steph said, still watching the spot where Cameron had been sitting. Katy smirked. "Not with Jenna." Ethan surprised me by coming to Cameron's defense. "That's because they've known each other forever. I'd be nervous, too, if I were meeting all you retards for the first time." "Good point," Junior Dave said. I drove Ethan home after school even though what I wanted was to talk with Cameron for a hundred more hours. We sat in front of his house -- his family had a bungalow near the park, a small brick thing that barely held him and his parents and his two little sisters, Carly and Hannah. He took my hand and wiggled my fingers one by one. "You look nice today." "I do?" Hard to believe, as lumpy and tired and out of sorts as I felt. "Yeah." He got closer, played with my earring. "Your hair is all... wavy." "Thanks for being so nice to Cameron." I don't know why I said that right then, totally ruining the mood Ethan was obviously trying to get me in. But talking, flirting, having a normal conversation about our usual things felt impossible. He stopped playing with my earring and leaned back. "Sure. I mean, I've got nothing against the guy." "Exactly," I said, nodding. "As long as he stays away from you, he can be my best friend if he wants." He took my hand again. "Why don't you come in? No one's home for a while." This time it was me who pulled back. "He knows I have a boyfriend. We can still be friends, though," I said, resisting the urge to tack a "right?" on the end of my sentence. "Well, yeah. Within reason." "What does that mean?" "It means 'within reason.'" He turned away from me and stared out the windshield. "Jenna, think about it. If there was some hot girl who'd known me half my life and described me as having 'sweet eyes' and being 'adorable' and she suddenly turned up out of nowhere, how would you feel?" He made air quotes while he talked, and even imitated Cameron's deep voice in a way that didn't sound entirely complimentary. "You're friends with Steph," I said. "That doesn't bother me." Which, actually, was not totally true. But I would never, ever let on that it bothered me, because no one likes an insecure, possessive girlfriend. No one likes an insecure, possessive boyfriend, either, a fact that Ethan did not seem to grasp. "So you're saying you're going to be hanging out with Cameron?" he asked. "I'm saying he's my friend." "I'm saying you're my girlfriend." "I'm saying I know that, and you have nothing to worry about." He sighed. "Why don't you just come in?" He made puppy dog eyes at me and I said yes and we went straight to his room and closed the door. He needed reassurance. I needed reassurance. Which was probably why we ended up breaking our firmly established makeout boundaries in a big pile of Ethan-smelling blankets on his bed, with his cat, Milhouse, curled up near the pillows. The kind of feeling I got from being with Ethan that way was something like when I ate, the same private sort of comfort that I got when I had my favorite foods all to myself. It didn't seem quite right that it would feel like that. Because being with