Read Online You Herd Me!: I'll Say It If Nobody Else Will by Colin Cowherd - Free Book Online Page A

also due to an expanded media, where we see and hear daily how we all stack up. From the Internet to social media, blogs, and reality shows on every other cable channel, we get lavish lifestyles poured into our glass nightly and hourly. You see the faces of wealth.
    It’s one thing to have a more successful family member, but what if he was your neighbor? Whatif you had to watch him routinely upgrading his landscaping—the kind you only wish you could afford? What if he pulled into the driveway with a new SUV every twelve months while your 1993 model was in and out of the shop? Sometimes the harsh truth isn’t that much fun when it’s pushed into your face.
    Animosity and jealousy, two very ugly words, only arrive after disclosure. The same goes for sorrow and heartbreak.
    If God didn’t really exist, is the public better off knowing that? Don’t many people rely on that existence for comfort and guidance?
    There’s a reason the media doesn’t televise suicides. We don’t need to see it. Nobody really does. Whose life is really elevated by seeing someone else take theirs?
    We often demand total transparency but, number one, total transparency doesn’t exist, and two, we’re all probably happier if we don’t know everything about everything.



IQ, Low-Q, No Clue
    I hereby present two words no guy wants to read:
    Menstrual synchrony
.
    It’s an unproven theory most guys don’t know about, and those who
do
know about it would rather not discuss it.
    Don’t bother looking it up. I already did.
    The theory suggests that menstrual cycles of women who live together—in homes, convents, prisons—can become synchronized over time. The concept first came to the public’s attention in 1971, in an article in
Nature
magazine that studied the menstrual cycles of young women in a college dormitory. Supposedly women can sense the pheromones of other women and eventually their cycles synchronize, like an airborne virus.
    Menstrual synchrony
was brought to my attention years ago by a female friend who happened to play college basketball. She swore it was true. Research is split on whether it’s a scientifically verifiable phenomenon, and frankly I would like to move on, regardless of the evidence.
    But it does get me to my point: If it’s possible for women to share such an experience, isn’t it also true for men?
    I would say it is, but unfortunately for men, the “shared experience” is far more embarrassing.
    Because for men, the experience is stupidity.
    Anytime you get more than three men together in a room, on a golf trip, on a Las Vegas weekend, at a poker game, in a bar, or at a ballgame, it’s a virtual certainty that one of them will morph into a cross between Johnny Knoxville and Andy Dick.
    It’s a $2.99 testosterone combo deal, with a side of moron.
    Even smart, thoughtful men can’t help but lose fifty IQ points in the company of other men.
    Would any guy—by himself—jump off the roof of a house?
    Nope.
    Would any guy—by himself—light a bottle rocket in his hand?
    Nope.
    But that just described Daniel Tosh’s television career.
    I know: let’s find four or five guys, turn on a camera, and give them beer. The rest, I guarantee you, will be a waterslide through Neanderthal hell.
    When NBA center Jason Collins became the first active player in a major American sport to come out as gay, the news was illuminating in so many ways. The announcement shed light on small-minded bigots and open-minded NBA stars such as Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash.
    More than anything, though, it showed just how little we think of groups of men. I mean,
Wow
. It’s just amazing how little regard we have for men who congregate in groups.
    For one, they’re dangerous. For another, they’re stupid.
    And that’s just the beginning.
    It might be hard to believe, but immediately after Collins’s announcement, the story shifted to focus on how men might react to another man’s sexual orientation. This idea—that a man within