You Are the Reason

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Authors: Renae Kaye
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to walk, turning up one of the meandering paths that snaked through the trees of the park. “A lie of omission. I didn’t mean to mislead you. It’s just I never expected to meet someone I liked as much as I like you. If I’d known, I would’ve handled it differently.”
    Now I was dreading something really bad. Mislead? Omission? Handled differently? Was she an undercover cop, and were our conversations and sexual antics all recorded? Were we on the Internet already? “What?”
    We were in the middle of a grove of trees. There was no one else around, but we weren’t exactly hidden. I could see the gray water of the river through the trunks. The towers of river-view units were thirty meters to my left when Lee stopped in the middle of the path and turned to face me.
    “I can’t get pregnant Dave. I don’t have a uterus.”
    I blinked. Was that all? All this build up to that? I once hooked up with a guy for a while who had only one testicle. It was a little weird, but nothing that would stop our sex life.
    “In fact, I don’t even have a vagina.”
    Then again, that there could stop our sex life. Lack of sexual genitalia would usually mean no sex. But what did she mean no vagina ? Did she mean there was nothing there? Like Barbie? No vagina?
    I took a step back at that confession. Now that the words were sinking in, I was surprised and completely confused. “What? What do you mean?”
    Lee sighed as if I were being thickheaded. A roll of her eyes and a glance toward heaven confirmed it. Another sigh followed and finally she looked around as if the answer would be there, and threw up her hand in exasperation. “I’m not a girl, Dave. I’m a guy.”
    I searched my memory banks, trying to match up this piece of information with anything I’d previously seen or heard. I was coming up blank. “You’re trans?” I queried. Was she like Bobby?
    “No.” I watched as she swallowed and glanced to the side. “This is why I wanted to meet you for a walk. I didn’t want to dump this on you in the middle of a restaurant or somewhere where you felt trapped. If this gets too much for you, just walk away. I’m sorry I misled you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was meeting Bobby, and then he didn’t show, and you were there, and I liked you, and you were cute, and we got drunk….”
    She trailed off, gesturing with her hand and becoming animated as she tried to act out the words she couldn’t voice. In comparison, I was a frozen block of ice, completely motionless as I tried to comprehend.
    Lee stopped and gathered herself, much like she did at the pub when she advised me about the correct pronouns to use with Bobby. I saw the tip of her tongue dart out and moisten her lips before she tried to explain.
    “I’m a guy, Dave. I’m a gay guy. I’m twenty-one years old. I have a cock. I like other guys. I work as a dental assistant and drive a WRX. I go for the Sydney Swans. I like to bake, but I don’t like cooking much. I read a lot of historical fiction, and I like listening to the rock ’n’ roll music of the ’60s. I have a brother and sister, both older than me. I own two cats. I’m allergic to shellfish. I’m a volunteer counselor and youth worker for a gay, lesbian, and trans support group. I hate winter and I love summer. I’m afraid of heights.”
    He paused and drew a breath. “And I like to dress in women’s clothing sometimes.”

Chapter 8

     
    A ND I like to dress in women’s clothing sometimes.
    I was still stuck on the I’m a guy, Dave and then she— he —goes and hits me with And I like to dress in women’s clothing sometimes.
    Lee was a guy?
    He had a cock?
    I tried to imagine it, but I kept coming up with dresses and pretty red bows in cherry red hair. I kept seeing bright red nail polish on dainty toenails peeping through toe holes on little shoes.
    “You’re a guy?” There was someone in the room who had been taken for a ride, and it appeared to be me.
    “Yes.”
    Lee was a

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