Read Online yolo by Sam Jones - Free Book Online

good time at a party this weekend, which, might I remind you both , I am paying for gas to drive us to.”
    Brandon walked around the front of the car and leaned against the hood, holding the bag of Doritos out to Emily. “Chips?”
    Emily wheeled on him. “How can you eat all the time ?”
    Brandon shrugged and took a glug from a two-liter bottle of Coke. He let out a giant burp that smelled like rotten Cool Ranch, then made that goofy grin. Ana immediately collapsed into giggles and Emily punched Brandon in the arm.
    â€œOw! Hey, you have to stop that. Why can girls beat up on guys all the time, when we’re not allowed to hit back?” “Oh, I don’t know, Brandon,” Emily scoffed. “Maybe it’s because doofus guys do idiotic things like offering to take the robbers who hold up the diner to their next hit !”
    â€œGood job, Pickles! That’s a good poo poo!” Ana was squealing as Pickles did his business, then started running across the grassy lawn.
    â€œWhere are you going?” Emily asked.
    Ana stopped and pointed to a big green bin with a picture of a dog on it by the trash cans. “To get a poop bag over there.”
    â€œOh,” Emily said, “so it’s okay to collude with bandits and become an accomplice to armed robbery, but picking up dog poop is where you draw the line ?”
    â€œFine,” Ana huffed. “I’ll leave the dog poop.”
    â€œOh, that’s not all we’re leaving,” Emily said, grabbing the keys from Brandon.
    â€œWe’re leaving?” Emily heard Chestnut’s voice, and whirled around to see him and Liz walking up to the car, smelling like an ashtray.
    â€œNo,” said Emily. “ You’re not leaving. We are leaving. You are going to continue your life of crime using someone else for transportation.”
    â€œYou can’t leave us here !” Liz said, alarmed.
    â€œOh yes. Yes, we can.”
    â€œBut we have one more job today!” Liz was frantic.
    Emily stalked up to Liz and leaned into her face. “If you get into the backseat of my car ever again, I swear to God I will call the police on you myself and wait until they show up to slap you in cuffs.”
    â€œBut what about our little boy?” Chestnut said. “They’ll take Artie away from us.”
    Emily glared at him. “Well, if you can’t stop stealing from people, maybe they should take Artie away from you.” Emily walked around the front of the car, got in behind the driver’s seat, and started the engine.
    Brandon offered Chestnut the bag of Doritos. “Hang on a sec,” he said. “I’ll talk to her.”
    Chestnut took it and dug in with Liz while Brandon leaned down and rapped on the passenger-side window with a knuckle.
    Emily rolled down the window a few inches. “Get. In. Now .” She was not screwing around.
    â€œI’d really like to,” Brandon said like he was breaking bad news to a child. “It’s just that I can’t leave them here by themselves.”
    â€œYou have got to be kidding me .” Emily laid her head on the steering wheel. The clock told her that her plan was already almost two hours off schedule, and if everything that had just happened hadn’t convinced her, for some reason seeing the time made her understand just what an unmitigated disaster this day had become.
    Ana pulled open the passenger door and jumped in with Pickles, who did a very happy wiggle dance into Emily’s lap and licked her on the nose. It was such a ridiculous thing—that a dog was dancing around her front seat and licking her face—that she gave up. She just started laughing. Ana watched her for a second, her eyes wide. Emily was sure that Ana must think that she was watching her best friend lose her mind, but then Ana was laughing too—and neither one of them could stop. Eventually, there were tears running down