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Authors: Marnie Winston-Macauley
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distorted Yiddishe mama. A lot of Jewish males were affected and this has been self-perpetuating. Self-hatred is being fed.”
“When you have the freedom to choose other than what you’ve been taught, mothers may be unable to adapt,” says Rabbi Yocheved Mintz.
“The loss of this warm, giving anything of yourself for your children, is not used for the lens of tradition,” says Binyamin Jolkovsky, editor in chief of the superb Jewishworldreview.com . “Instead itpushes materialism and power. There is a line … what becomes of selflessness, the consciousness of what is truly necessary and when you bring it into a culture that’s material—it becomes nasty.”
Along with the great liberties the Jewish mother and her family found in America, the price of assimilation has been costly. Human worth and success in the secular world began replacing Jewish values and traditions as a means of judgment, leaving some scholars and rabbis the Herculean task of holding their flocks together in an environment that no longer supports but, indeed, encourages a breakdown of our Jewishness.
In the extreme, the “alrightniks,” the nouveau riche, who are more concerned with status than Jewish ritual, have provided fodder for media and comics. In fact, this ambivalence surfaces when even the “alrightnik” fails to recognize him or herself.
M RS. L EVY FINALLY HIT UPON HOW TO CREATE THE
MOST UNIQUE BAR MITZVAH FOR HER SON.
“A SAFARI!” SHE TOLD ALL. “ T HE CONGREGATION
WILL FLY TO AFRICA AND NATIVES WILL CHANT AS
MY SON RECITES IN HEBREW!”
O N THE APPOINTED DAY, FOUR HUNDRED
JEWS WERE FLOWN TO AFRICA. WITH GUIDES
SHLEPPING, THE GUESTS THREADED THEIR WAY
THROUGH THE JUNGLE.
S UDDENLY, THE COLUMN WAS HALTED. “T HERE WILL BE A DELAY OF ONE HOUR,” SAID THE GUIDE.
“W HY?” DEMANDED M RS. L EVY INDIGNANTLY .
T HE GUIDE REPLIED: “T HERE’S ANOTHER BAR MITZVAH AHEAD OF US!”
N o expense was spared at the Buchman bar mitzvah. Ice statues were flowing pink punch, and in the middle of the mammoth buffet was a huge, life-sized sculpture of the bar mitzvah boy in chopped liver. The proud mama turned to her unimpressed cousin.
“So, what do think of the gorgeous statue of my Brucie?”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said, unable to resist. “Who did it? Lipschitz or Rothenstyne?”
“Rothenstyne, of course,” she sniffed. “Lipschitz only works in white fish.”
On the other side of the equation, there are Jewish mothers who applaud assimilation and see it as not only inevitable but a wise course in human development.
“Change is occurring. We can’t afford difference. In terms of values, religion … ultimately we have to be one,” says Julie Cobb. “We have to see and hear audio news clips of Iraqi funeral homes. As mothers our first impulse is not to listen. It’s too abrasive, too painful, like a … Greek chorus. I have purposely kept it on. Yet this is not a theater. This is the sound of all mothers. Personally, I think the separation has to stop.”
“T HEM” AND U S
I s there really a difference between the Jewish and non-Jewish mother? After all, most mothers care deeply about their children, will sacrifice and yes, many within all groups and ethnicities will butt in and “give guilt.” A small portion of those I interviewed felt there was no difference at all. A mother is a mother. It must also be said that just as not all Jewish mothers carry this ethno-type, there are many mothers within all groups, who, even without our unique history, share some of our ethno-typical behavior and beliefs. But many noted similarities among other ethnic mothers and Jewish mothers and held them out when compared to the so-called WASP mother.
“No. I don’t see the Jewish mother as any different,” says comedian Marty Allen.
“Women for whom children are the focus come in all ethnic groups [as do] women who live through their children,” says Rabbi Shira Stern.
“Danish mothers love and
“When you have the freedom to choose other than what you’ve been taught, mothers may be unable to adapt,” says Rabbi Yocheved Mintz.
“The loss of this warm, giving anything of yourself for your children, is not used for the lens of tradition,” says Binyamin Jolkovsky, editor in chief of the superb Jewishworldreview.com . “Instead itpushes materialism and power. There is a line … what becomes of selflessness, the consciousness of what is truly necessary and when you bring it into a culture that’s material—it becomes nasty.”
Along with the great liberties the Jewish mother and her family found in America, the price of assimilation has been costly. Human worth and success in the secular world began replacing Jewish values and traditions as a means of judgment, leaving some scholars and rabbis the Herculean task of holding their flocks together in an environment that no longer supports but, indeed, encourages a breakdown of our Jewishness.
In the extreme, the “alrightniks,” the nouveau riche, who are more concerned with status than Jewish ritual, have provided fodder for media and comics. In fact, this ambivalence surfaces when even the “alrightnik” fails to recognize him or herself.
M RS. L EVY FINALLY HIT UPON HOW TO CREATE THE
MOST UNIQUE BAR MITZVAH FOR HER SON.
“A SAFARI!” SHE TOLD ALL. “ T HE CONGREGATION
WILL FLY TO AFRICA AND NATIVES WILL CHANT AS
MY SON RECITES IN HEBREW!”
O N THE APPOINTED DAY, FOUR HUNDRED
JEWS WERE FLOWN TO AFRICA. WITH GUIDES
SHLEPPING, THE GUESTS THREADED THEIR WAY
THROUGH THE JUNGLE.
S UDDENLY, THE COLUMN WAS HALTED. “T HERE WILL BE A DELAY OF ONE HOUR,” SAID THE GUIDE.
“W HY?” DEMANDED M RS. L EVY INDIGNANTLY .
T HE GUIDE REPLIED: “T HERE’S ANOTHER BAR MITZVAH AHEAD OF US!”
N o expense was spared at the Buchman bar mitzvah. Ice statues were flowing pink punch, and in the middle of the mammoth buffet was a huge, life-sized sculpture of the bar mitzvah boy in chopped liver. The proud mama turned to her unimpressed cousin.
“So, what do think of the gorgeous statue of my Brucie?”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said, unable to resist. “Who did it? Lipschitz or Rothenstyne?”
“Rothenstyne, of course,” she sniffed. “Lipschitz only works in white fish.”
On the other side of the equation, there are Jewish mothers who applaud assimilation and see it as not only inevitable but a wise course in human development.
“Change is occurring. We can’t afford difference. In terms of values, religion … ultimately we have to be one,” says Julie Cobb. “We have to see and hear audio news clips of Iraqi funeral homes. As mothers our first impulse is not to listen. It’s too abrasive, too painful, like a … Greek chorus. I have purposely kept it on. Yet this is not a theater. This is the sound of all mothers. Personally, I think the separation has to stop.”
“T HEM” AND U S
I s there really a difference between the Jewish and non-Jewish mother? After all, most mothers care deeply about their children, will sacrifice and yes, many within all groups and ethnicities will butt in and “give guilt.” A small portion of those I interviewed felt there was no difference at all. A mother is a mother. It must also be said that just as not all Jewish mothers carry this ethno-type, there are many mothers within all groups, who, even without our unique history, share some of our ethno-typical behavior and beliefs. But many noted similarities among other ethnic mothers and Jewish mothers and held them out when compared to the so-called WASP mother.
“No. I don’t see the Jewish mother as any different,” says comedian Marty Allen.
“Women for whom children are the focus come in all ethnic groups [as do] women who live through their children,” says Rabbi Shira Stern.
“Danish mothers love and
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