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care,” says Jody Lopatin, “but the Jewish mother is more demonstrative, and as part of our tradition, encourages her children to be their best.”
    M ARIA, AN I TALIAN, A THENA, A G REEK, AND E STHER, A J EW, ALL GRANDMAS, WERE SEATED ON A PARK BENCH DISCUSSING WHAT THEY WOULD DO IF THEIR DOCTOR GAVE THEM ONLY THREE MONTHS TO LIVE.
    M ARIA QUICKLY ANSWERED:
    “H MMM. I ’D EAT MY WAY THROUGH R OME … EVERY CANNOLI WOULD BE IN MY MOUTH.”
    ATHENA SAID: “I ’D CRUISE THE ISLANDS, AND BREAK DISHES WITH AS MANY TWENTY-FIVE-YEAR-OLD FISHERMEN I COULD FIND! A ND YOU, E STHER?”
    “ME, DARLINGS? I ’D CALL MY SON-IN-LAW AND GET A CONSULT WITH ANOTHER DOCTOR.”
    “I think the classic Jewish mother is just a more extreme version of what all mothers are about,” says Amy Borkowsky. “Typically, there’s a real lack of boundaries between herself and her child, so she worries excessively and can never really acknowledge the child is an adult. I get e-mails from people of all different backgrounds who sound like we have the same mother.”
    “O NE WOMAN WITH A H ISPANIC
NAME WROTE THAT HER MOTHER ALWAYS
TELLS HER NOT TO STICK HER NOSE
INTO FLOWERS WHEN SHE SMELLS THEM
BECAUSE SHE ONCE HEARD OF A WOMAN
WHO INHALED BUG EGGS AND THEY
HATCHED IN HER SINUSES. APPARENTLY
YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO BE JEWISH TO BE
A JEWISH MOTHER.”
    —Amy Borkowsky
    “The WASP mother feels her job is done when kids graduate high school,” says Mallory Lewis. “The distinction is really between the ethnic mother and the WASP mother.”
    “I think the Jewish mother is more involved in different organizations and does more outside the home,” says Melanie Strug.
    “The WASP mothers are very different,” says comedian/singer Marilyn Michaels. “They’re cooler, less invasive.”
    “Jewish mothers are generally more interested in education,” says Dr. Eileen Warshaw. “WASPs in suburbia tend to be more interested in making sure their child makes the football team. It’s more about social status than grade level.”
    T hree mothers, Peggy, a Catholic woman, Jane, a Protestant, and Molly, a Jew, were discussing when life begins.
    Peggy said: “In our religion, life begins at conception.”
    Jane countered: “We disagree. We believe that life begins when the fetus is viable away from the mother’s womb.”
    “You’re both wrong,” said Molly. “In our religion, life begins when the kids graduate college and the dog dies.”
    Iris Krasnow, author of I
Am My Mother’s Daughter:
Making Peace with Mom Before It’s too Late,
reported that out of her 116 interviews, she could make no generalizations when comparing Catholic guilt and Jewish guilt.
    I tend to agree. Among American “ethnic” moms, particularly Italian, many of these “characteristics” are similar; however, when I posed the question specifically, differences emerged.
    “Doris Roberts as Marie Barone is
completely family-oriented.
She has to be in control. A Jewish mother has to be in control, but won’t show it
that way, it’s more finessed.”
    —Zora Essman, mother of comic Susie Essman
    “Jewish mothers, unlike Marie Barone, for example, don’t show the same kind of favoritism—they try to hide it more. Our criticisms are less caustic and more manipulative. Jewish moms make
you
make their decision,” says Judy Gold. “The Jewish mother fears more, which comes from what’s happened to us as a people. [We not only have to deal with] how to protect ourselves, but also all of us, as a people.”
    “The Jewish mother pushes her kids to succeed, which creates a certain amount of anger. Children are their mirror,” says Lainie Kazan, who, in her career, has played a multitude of mamas. “The Italian mother expects much less.”
    “I see very little difference,” says Theodore Bikel. Then referring to other ethnic groups, “There’s a preoccupation with food that is pathological in both Jews and Italians. One difference is Italian mothers are often