Read Online Xtreme Manly Man Force of Intense Badassery: Book One: The Fountain of Testoserone by Kell Inkston - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kell Inkston
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his
tracks. The three of them are put under the impression that this
group will not last as it is for long.
“Of course, Scroobdoob! Who do you
think I am?!”
“WELL THEN, I BET YOU'D ALSO SAY THAT
YOU COULD BEAT ME IN A FIGHT, THEN?”
“Yeah, Scrub! Anytime!” Mr. Honkers
challenges with a smooth afro-jiggle, foretelling of his imaginary
might. SISY reaches around his back to draw his hideously sized
sword.
“ALRIGHT THEN! LET'S SEE JUST HOW MANLY
YOU ARE, YOU FAT LITTL–” “Gladly, Buttface! After we've found what
we're looking for!” Mr. Honkers sets with a nod. SISY pauses for a
moment, breathing with strenuous excitement, and then calms down,
slowly setting his blade back into its sheath. The others, seeing
that the blood-shedding has been averted for now, do the
same.
“Hehe, alright then. After the
fountain, then we duel,” SISY agrees, that insane, beastly look in
his eye from before begins vanishing to make way for the appearance
of sanity. Mr. Honkers nods again, knowing that he can beat this
big nerd any day of the week.
“Fair enough, you sissy. Shall we be on
our way, then?” the shortest of the men says as he and the others
turn to the bridge to cross. Looking over the bridge, UDGD, Mr.
Honkers, SISY, and DTO spot IMRM, bent on-knee over the wounded
Toll-Lord. Mr. Honkers sighs. The group approaches IMRM, who rises
up and turns to them as they approach.
“What are you doing, you dweeb? You
always do this! Really, he always does this!” Mr. Honkers says,
half way speaking to the others as if to explain his companion's
strange behavior. IMRM tilts his head to the side just a
bit.
“This man's life signs were very weak.
I think he would have died if I didn't patch him up,” IMRM claims,
somehow able to tell if someone is close to dying.
“Whatever, dweeb. You really gotta'
stop being so unmanly.”
“This man is not expressly our foe. I
see no reason not to help him.”
“Don't be a dweeb, dweeb. Why would you
help some random dying guy?”
“I suppose life is something worth
preserving.”
“Yeah!? Well stop it. It looks dumb,”
Mr. Honkers says, correcting IMRM as if he were a child. IMRM looks
to the chasm, looks to the sky, and then back at Mr.
Honkers.
“I see,” he says simply. The two are
silent for a moment, and Mr. Honkers sighs.
“Whatever. Are you guys ready to go?”
the short, chocolate-colored man questions. The group nods and
agrees in their own specific manners, and they press on to cross
the bridge.
As they make their way across, UDGD
notices the downed Toll-Lord. All his wounds are gone.
CHAPTER TEN: THE SWAMP OF SWEAT, FIRE
AND HAVING ONE'S INTERNAL ORGANS DIGESTED BY SPIDER VENOM WHILE
SCREAMING LIKE A TOTAL SISSY (AKA: MANLY MEN ONLY NO SISSIES
ALLOWED)
After about half an hour of walking
across the blasted and blood-splattered wastelands of the Crimson
Kingdom, the group of mostly-manly men reach a ravine, led into by
their current road. The path begins to curve upwards, and proves to
be a steady, exhausting climb for the group, with the exception of
IMRM and SISY, as one is in incredible shape, and the other is
simply designed to be superior. Mr. Honkers, the vocal one among
the five, whines incessantly, and eventually demands to take a
break. The others disagree, and as it happens, IMRM offers to carry
Mr. Honkers, who after justifying his condition with a pathetic
excuse having to do with his huge non-existent muscles, agrees.
This unpleasant uphill climb goes on for about ten minutes until
the group reaches the peak of the ravine, in which they can see
spanning out in front of them is a great mass of dismally-colored
trees, stretching as far as one's eye can see.
“HEY, PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?” SISY
exclaims in admiration of the view as he folds his arms in
awe.
“Yeah, whatever,” UDGD says, as the
Subspace Orchestra plays a soft, breathtaking harmony, that would
fit the action of overlooking a giant area fairly well. UDGD scowls
at the
tracks. The three of them are put under the impression that this
group will not last as it is for long.
“Of course, Scroobdoob! Who do you
think I am?!”
“WELL THEN, I BET YOU'D ALSO SAY THAT
YOU COULD BEAT ME IN A FIGHT, THEN?”
“Yeah, Scrub! Anytime!” Mr. Honkers
challenges with a smooth afro-jiggle, foretelling of his imaginary
might. SISY reaches around his back to draw his hideously sized
sword.
“ALRIGHT THEN! LET'S SEE JUST HOW MANLY
YOU ARE, YOU FAT LITTL–” “Gladly, Buttface! After we've found what
we're looking for!” Mr. Honkers sets with a nod. SISY pauses for a
moment, breathing with strenuous excitement, and then calms down,
slowly setting his blade back into its sheath. The others, seeing
that the blood-shedding has been averted for now, do the
same.
“Hehe, alright then. After the
fountain, then we duel,” SISY agrees, that insane, beastly look in
his eye from before begins vanishing to make way for the appearance
of sanity. Mr. Honkers nods again, knowing that he can beat this
big nerd any day of the week.
“Fair enough, you sissy. Shall we be on
our way, then?” the shortest of the men says as he and the others
turn to the bridge to cross. Looking over the bridge, UDGD, Mr.
Honkers, SISY, and DTO spot IMRM, bent on-knee over the wounded
Toll-Lord. Mr. Honkers sighs. The group approaches IMRM, who rises
up and turns to them as they approach.
“What are you doing, you dweeb? You
always do this! Really, he always does this!” Mr. Honkers says,
half way speaking to the others as if to explain his companion's
strange behavior. IMRM tilts his head to the side just a
bit.
“This man's life signs were very weak.
I think he would have died if I didn't patch him up,” IMRM claims,
somehow able to tell if someone is close to dying.
“Whatever, dweeb. You really gotta'
stop being so unmanly.”
“This man is not expressly our foe. I
see no reason not to help him.”
“Don't be a dweeb, dweeb. Why would you
help some random dying guy?”
“I suppose life is something worth
preserving.”
“Yeah!? Well stop it. It looks dumb,”
Mr. Honkers says, correcting IMRM as if he were a child. IMRM looks
to the chasm, looks to the sky, and then back at Mr.
Honkers.
“I see,” he says simply. The two are
silent for a moment, and Mr. Honkers sighs.
“Whatever. Are you guys ready to go?”
the short, chocolate-colored man questions. The group nods and
agrees in their own specific manners, and they press on to cross
the bridge.
As they make their way across, UDGD
notices the downed Toll-Lord. All his wounds are gone.
CHAPTER TEN: THE SWAMP OF SWEAT, FIRE
AND HAVING ONE'S INTERNAL ORGANS DIGESTED BY SPIDER VENOM WHILE
SCREAMING LIKE A TOTAL SISSY (AKA: MANLY MEN ONLY NO SISSIES
ALLOWED)
After about half an hour of walking
across the blasted and blood-splattered wastelands of the Crimson
Kingdom, the group of mostly-manly men reach a ravine, led into by
their current road. The path begins to curve upwards, and proves to
be a steady, exhausting climb for the group, with the exception of
IMRM and SISY, as one is in incredible shape, and the other is
simply designed to be superior. Mr. Honkers, the vocal one among
the five, whines incessantly, and eventually demands to take a
break. The others disagree, and as it happens, IMRM offers to carry
Mr. Honkers, who after justifying his condition with a pathetic
excuse having to do with his huge non-existent muscles, agrees.
This unpleasant uphill climb goes on for about ten minutes until
the group reaches the peak of the ravine, in which they can see
spanning out in front of them is a great mass of dismally-colored
trees, stretching as far as one's eye can see.
“HEY, PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?” SISY
exclaims in admiration of the view as he folds his arms in
awe.
“Yeah, whatever,” UDGD says, as the
Subspace Orchestra plays a soft, breathtaking harmony, that would
fit the action of overlooking a giant area fairly well. UDGD scowls
at the
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