Valian—the pleasure of working consistently and
incremental y on a project. (That’s one of my favorite lines in
the essay: “I decided that I wanted to work every day, because
I wanted to experience that constancy of working that I had al-
ways denied myself.”)
Have you ever read an essay or a book that immediately
helped you? If so, write about the advice you gained from that
author and how you applied it.
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Part two
Initiation
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4
A Funny thing
Happened on the Road
to schema theory
Although I’d broken through the thesis block, my dream for
my “real writing”—whatever that might be—was still on hold.
Nonetheless, for first time since I hit puberty, I was neither a student nor a waitress. My freshly printed business cards declared
that I was an assistant professor of English. The relief of having
a Real Job with tasks that endured beyond the dinner shift—
not to mention medical, dental, and vision benefits—more than
made up for any ill-defined dream deferred, at least for a good
long while.
Nothing, though, prepared me for the terror of my first
quarter of teaching. Ostensibly, a master’s in English literature
is the preparation for teaching English at a community col-
lege. But reading Shakespeare’s tragedies in your apartment
and then writing papers about them or sitting through a lecture
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T h e o P a u l i n e N e s t o r
on feminist criticism and the Victorian novel is absolutely no
preparation whatsoever for standing in front a class and trying
to explain how to support a thesis sentence. No correlation ex-
ists between these two activities. It’s like thinking that studying botany will prepare you to run a landscaping business. Yes, it’s
good to know what those plants are doing out there, but let’s face
it: 95 percent of the time, you’re going to be mowing lawns and
hefting the lawn mower in and out the truck.
There is a time-honored disconnect between learning and
teaching in higher education. Few graduate students ever take
classes in pedagogical theory. The assumption is that if you
know your stuff, you’ll somehow be able to transmit that stuff
to your students. The how is your own problem. But in this case, the disconnect between the preparation and the daily work
seemed particularly absurd. One of the listed requirements of
my new job was a master’s degree in English, but the bulk of my
job assignment was to teach basic developmental writing and as
well as a course called Success Skil s, a component of the job I
remained in denial about until the final days of summer.
Success Skil s was part study skil s, part resource guide to
college life, part learning theory, and part motivational lectures.
As the school year rapidly approached, I sweated through the
last scorching days of the southern Utah summer, knowing that
I was in no way prepared to teach anyone how to succeed in
college. I flipped through the highly left-brained accompanying
text for the class, aptly named How to Study in Col ege , and a hot darkness overtook me. The Cornell Method of notetaking!
How to take multiple-choice tests! How to manage your time in
college!
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W r i t i n g i s M y D r i n k
My problems with the course content were endless. First, I’d
never done half of the things the book recommended one do
to succeed and yet had somehow succeeded, although I could
not say how. I also did not deep down believe that the answer
to success lay in the rigid methods outlined, and if those meth-
ods were, in fact, the road to success, then learning and college
would be such soulless prospects that I would want
Gerard Brennan
Jonathan Janz
Marteeka Karland
Bill Kitson
Patricia Wentworth
Jordan Rosenfeld
S. Celi
Beth Raymer
Jennifer Thibeault
Terry Pratchett