Read Online Witch Glitch: Magic and Mayhem Book Two by Robyn Peterman - Free Book Online
Authors: Robyn Peterman
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that flies from your mouth."
Mac's amused chuckle did not help the situation. Fabio's fingers twitched and I quickly stepped in front of the hot guy on my bed. I was the only one permitted to zap his fine ass.
"Look, you might want to try some reverse psychology. I was on my way to being single again, but you're making me rethink."
"Parenting is hard," Naked Dude whined as he plopped his large frame down in a chair. "I'm not sure I'm doing this very well."
"You're doing fine," I consoled him. "You just have to realize I'm not thirteen."
" Can we screw with him? " Hildy begged.
"I don't think it's a good idea right now," I told her.
Naked Dude looked a little pathetic all mussed up and wearing women's yoga pants.
"Who are you talking to?" he barked as he looked around the room.
"Somebody," I answered cagily.
"That's it. Zelda, you're grounded. The werewolf has to leave and you will stay in your room for the rest of the evening," Fabio announced grandly.
I inhaled deep and blew the air back out slowly. I was this close to magically reducing the size of the yoga pants to extra, extra small, but it might decimate his balls. It would be wrong—even I knew it. I was going to use words not spells.
"Screw with him." I told Hildy. "He's asking for it."
" Yayayayayayay! " she squealed. " He's taking yoga to get limber because he misses licking his balls. "
"That's disgusting," I said with a shudder. The visual alone activated my gag reflex.
"What's disgusting?" Fabio asked, perplexed.
"I can't believe you're doing yoga just so you can become one with your nads again."
"That's just preposterous," he stuttered not quite able to make eye contact. "I do have a message for…"
" He slept with the lights on until he was a hundred and fifty ," Hildy chimed gleefully.
"You're afraid of the dark?" I giggled and watched him squirm.
"I most certainly am not," he huffed.
" He was obsessed with Dorothy Hamill and wore his hair in the Hamill Wedge for six years, " she choked out through her laughter. " I have pictures ."
"No freakin way." I fell back on the bed and laughed. It was so wrong and so awesome. "You truly sported a wedge cut for six years?"
Fabio froze and his eyes narrowed to slits. Green sparkles burst from his fingertips and began to fly willy nilly around the room.
" Call him a doucheknocker ," Hildy said.
"I think we might have screwed with him a bit much," I said as I ducked a rather aggressive blast.
" Do it! It will be great ," she insisted.
"I'm supposed to call you a doucheknocker," I mumbled.
"Where is she?" Fabio hissed as he stood and prepared to do some major damage. "Where is my gaping, cavernous, canker sore of a sister? And who in the hell invited her? She can't come back without an invitation—an invitation from an extraordinarily powerful source."
"I guess I did," I admitted, ignoring the part about the powerful source. I'd deal with that nugget later—as in never. "I sent a letter off into the cosmos. She showed up and interrupted my afternoon sex-capades."
"Well, at least the old hag is good for something," Fabio muttered as he reigned in his magic. "Show yourself, you smelly broom flyer."
"I can't, you fart nozzle," Hildy griped, now in full voice for all to hear. "I'm afraid I'll poof away if I try."
"I think you should try," Fabio said with an evil smirk. "I dare you."
"I am not falling for a dare, you testicle slurper," she informed her brother.
"Don't knock it till you try it," he shot back.
Mac and I sat silently and listened to the juvenile name-calling. It was both amusing and disconcerting. Watching two over two hundred year old siblings fighting like they were twelve had not been on my agenda for today.
"Are you guys done?" I asked nicely. "If you're not, you should finish up because I detect in-coming old lady
Mac's amused chuckle did not help the situation. Fabio's fingers twitched and I quickly stepped in front of the hot guy on my bed. I was the only one permitted to zap his fine ass.
"Look, you might want to try some reverse psychology. I was on my way to being single again, but you're making me rethink."
"Parenting is hard," Naked Dude whined as he plopped his large frame down in a chair. "I'm not sure I'm doing this very well."
"You're doing fine," I consoled him. "You just have to realize I'm not thirteen."
" Can we screw with him? " Hildy begged.
"I don't think it's a good idea right now," I told her.
Naked Dude looked a little pathetic all mussed up and wearing women's yoga pants.
"Who are you talking to?" he barked as he looked around the room.
"Somebody," I answered cagily.
"That's it. Zelda, you're grounded. The werewolf has to leave and you will stay in your room for the rest of the evening," Fabio announced grandly.
I inhaled deep and blew the air back out slowly. I was this close to magically reducing the size of the yoga pants to extra, extra small, but it might decimate his balls. It would be wrong—even I knew it. I was going to use words not spells.
"Screw with him." I told Hildy. "He's asking for it."
" Yayayayayayay! " she squealed. " He's taking yoga to get limber because he misses licking his balls. "
"That's disgusting," I said with a shudder. The visual alone activated my gag reflex.
"What's disgusting?" Fabio asked, perplexed.
"I can't believe you're doing yoga just so you can become one with your nads again."
"That's just preposterous," he stuttered not quite able to make eye contact. "I do have a message for…"
" He slept with the lights on until he was a hundred and fifty ," Hildy chimed gleefully.
"You're afraid of the dark?" I giggled and watched him squirm.
"I most certainly am not," he huffed.
" He was obsessed with Dorothy Hamill and wore his hair in the Hamill Wedge for six years, " she choked out through her laughter. " I have pictures ."
"No freakin way." I fell back on the bed and laughed. It was so wrong and so awesome. "You truly sported a wedge cut for six years?"
Fabio froze and his eyes narrowed to slits. Green sparkles burst from his fingertips and began to fly willy nilly around the room.
" Call him a doucheknocker ," Hildy said.
"I think we might have screwed with him a bit much," I said as I ducked a rather aggressive blast.
" Do it! It will be great ," she insisted.
"I'm supposed to call you a doucheknocker," I mumbled.
"Where is she?" Fabio hissed as he stood and prepared to do some major damage. "Where is my gaping, cavernous, canker sore of a sister? And who in the hell invited her? She can't come back without an invitation—an invitation from an extraordinarily powerful source."
"I guess I did," I admitted, ignoring the part about the powerful source. I'd deal with that nugget later—as in never. "I sent a letter off into the cosmos. She showed up and interrupted my afternoon sex-capades."
"Well, at least the old hag is good for something," Fabio muttered as he reigned in his magic. "Show yourself, you smelly broom flyer."
"I can't, you fart nozzle," Hildy griped, now in full voice for all to hear. "I'm afraid I'll poof away if I try."
"I think you should try," Fabio said with an evil smirk. "I dare you."
"I am not falling for a dare, you testicle slurper," she informed her brother.
"Don't knock it till you try it," he shot back.
Mac and I sat silently and listened to the juvenile name-calling. It was both amusing and disconcerting. Watching two over two hundred year old siblings fighting like they were twelve had not been on my agenda for today.
"Are you guys done?" I asked nicely. "If you're not, you should finish up because I detect in-coming old lady
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