Read Online Willie's Redneck Time Machine by John Luke Robertson - Free Book Online
Authors: John Luke Robertson
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those first few years.
So you test out your memory on the locker combination. Yep. It works.
You see books tossed around and what looks like a bagged lunch with some gym shorts on top of it. Some pictures of Korie and you decorate the inside of the door. Your locker sure doesn’t smell very good (but it’s nothing like Stanley’s breath). You dig around until you find a notebook and a pen, then open it to write yourself a note.
Hey, Willie. This is yourself from the future. Life’s been good to you, buddy. Just stay strong in your faith and stay close to Korie. Oh, and just so you know —the Buffalo Bills never wina Super Bowl. After four consecutive trips. So . . . just saying.
And another thing. DO NOT eat the ducks you shoot on Christmas morning 1998. Just don’t.
Willie
You take tape from the back of one of the pictures in the locker and stick the note to the door.
You head to the time machine, ready to go home. Hopefully John Luke made it back already.
You don’t expect anything to be different. Maybe some of the memories you have of lean days and nights cutting back on meals will change. But still —you’ve done nothing wrong. Have you?
You might be telling yourself about a potential sports bet you can make. But that’s all.
This is a gift from above. You’re just helping yourself out a little.
You find the time machine and step in.
Go here .
1990
“GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.”
They all start to laugh at you. Obviously they don’t know who you are. Not with the beard. And maybe you’ve put on a little weight, but other than that you don’t think you look that different from when you were in high school.
If they don’t recognize you, though, you might as well use this to your advantage.
“Henry Billowby,” you say with a heavy, threatening voice.
“Yes?”
Now they’re not laughing. They’re wondering why the guy with the long hair and beard and the big boots is standing over them looking like he might paddle any of them in a millisecond.
“Staying out of trouble?”
The kid nods.
“You want to hear something? You may not know me, but I know you. And here’s my promise to you on this night. If you do anything —and I mean anything —that might be considered foolish, then I’m going to come find you. I know where you live. At the end of Baker Lane, right? You and your brother.”
“How do you know us?” Henry asks.
“From a long time ago. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“So what are you gonna do, anyway?”
This is Ralph talking. Henry was always the bigger talker, but Ralph was always the one getting in more trouble.
“Ralph, Ralph. Do you know what it feels like to hold the beating heart of a dead deer?”
The boy only shakes his head while you lean toward him and stare into his eyes.
“You don’t want to mess with a man who’s really good at carving up things.”
His eyes are big, like balloons ready to burst.
You are about to say something else, but then you see someone approaching the entrance to the gym from the other way. It’s a cute, tall, skinny girl with curly hair you recognize quite well.
It’s Korie. Your date for tonight.
Your date for the rest of your life.
You don’t have a clue what you’re going to do.
Do you rush over to say hi to Korie? Go here .
Do you head into the gym to search for John Luke? Go here .
1863
IT DOESN’T TAKE YOU LONG to find a Confederate deserter to switch clothes with. At first he thought he was going to be captured when he saw you with the general, so he’s more than happy when all you demand is his uniform. Granted, it’s a little short and tight, but that’s okay. The soldier even lets you have his horse. Giddyup.
You’ve always wanted to be a soldier.
“Where is Robert E. Lee?” you ask Stonewall Jackson.
But he is not talking to you. Even after you’ve explained half a dozen times that you’re from the future. They don’t understand the things you know. Time travel is
So you test out your memory on the locker combination. Yep. It works.
You see books tossed around and what looks like a bagged lunch with some gym shorts on top of it. Some pictures of Korie and you decorate the inside of the door. Your locker sure doesn’t smell very good (but it’s nothing like Stanley’s breath). You dig around until you find a notebook and a pen, then open it to write yourself a note.
Hey, Willie. This is yourself from the future. Life’s been good to you, buddy. Just stay strong in your faith and stay close to Korie. Oh, and just so you know —the Buffalo Bills never wina Super Bowl. After four consecutive trips. So . . . just saying.
And another thing. DO NOT eat the ducks you shoot on Christmas morning 1998. Just don’t.
Willie
You take tape from the back of one of the pictures in the locker and stick the note to the door.
You head to the time machine, ready to go home. Hopefully John Luke made it back already.
You don’t expect anything to be different. Maybe some of the memories you have of lean days and nights cutting back on meals will change. But still —you’ve done nothing wrong. Have you?
You might be telling yourself about a potential sports bet you can make. But that’s all.
This is a gift from above. You’re just helping yourself out a little.
You find the time machine and step in.
Go here .
1990
“GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.”
They all start to laugh at you. Obviously they don’t know who you are. Not with the beard. And maybe you’ve put on a little weight, but other than that you don’t think you look that different from when you were in high school.
If they don’t recognize you, though, you might as well use this to your advantage.
“Henry Billowby,” you say with a heavy, threatening voice.
“Yes?”
Now they’re not laughing. They’re wondering why the guy with the long hair and beard and the big boots is standing over them looking like he might paddle any of them in a millisecond.
“Staying out of trouble?”
The kid nods.
“You want to hear something? You may not know me, but I know you. And here’s my promise to you on this night. If you do anything —and I mean anything —that might be considered foolish, then I’m going to come find you. I know where you live. At the end of Baker Lane, right? You and your brother.”
“How do you know us?” Henry asks.
“From a long time ago. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“So what are you gonna do, anyway?”
This is Ralph talking. Henry was always the bigger talker, but Ralph was always the one getting in more trouble.
“Ralph, Ralph. Do you know what it feels like to hold the beating heart of a dead deer?”
The boy only shakes his head while you lean toward him and stare into his eyes.
“You don’t want to mess with a man who’s really good at carving up things.”
His eyes are big, like balloons ready to burst.
You are about to say something else, but then you see someone approaching the entrance to the gym from the other way. It’s a cute, tall, skinny girl with curly hair you recognize quite well.
It’s Korie. Your date for tonight.
Your date for the rest of your life.
You don’t have a clue what you’re going to do.
Do you rush over to say hi to Korie? Go here .
Do you head into the gym to search for John Luke? Go here .
1863
IT DOESN’T TAKE YOU LONG to find a Confederate deserter to switch clothes with. At first he thought he was going to be captured when he saw you with the general, so he’s more than happy when all you demand is his uniform. Granted, it’s a little short and tight, but that’s okay. The soldier even lets you have his horse. Giddyup.
You’ve always wanted to be a soldier.
“Where is Robert E. Lee?” you ask Stonewall Jackson.
But he is not talking to you. Even after you’ve explained half a dozen times that you’re from the future. They don’t understand the things you know. Time travel is
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