Read Online Wild Cards [05] Down and Dirty by George R.R. Martin - Free Book Online

asshole."
    "I'll give you something up the asshole!" said the giant, raising his hand again.
    "You got it," said the other, an electrical storm erupting suddenly between his palms. The giant stepped back a pace. Then the storm passed and the man lowered his hands. "If it weren't for the linguini in my lap," he said then, "this would be funny. Sit down. We can wait together."
    "Funny?"
    "Think about it while I go clean up," he replied. Then, "Name's Croyd," he said.
    "Croyd Crenson?"
    "Yeah. And you're Bludgeon, aren't you?"
    "Yeah. What do you mean `funny'?"
    "Like mistaken identity," Croyd answered. "Two guys thinking they're each somebody else, you know?" Bludgeons brow was furrowed for several seconds before his lips formed a tentative smile. Then he laughed, four coughlike barks. "Yeah, fuckin' funny!" he said then, and barked again.
    Bludgeon slid into the booth, still chuckling, as Croyd slid out. Croyd headed back toward the men's room and Bludgeon ordered a pitcher of beer from the waiter who came by to clean up. A few moments later, a black-suited man entered the dining area from the kitchen and stood, thumbs hooked behind his belt, toothpick moving slowly within a faint frown. Then he advanced.
    "You look a little familiar," he said, coming up beside the booth.
    "I'm Bludgeon," the other replied, raising his hand. "Chris Mazzucchelli. Yeah, I've heard of you. I hear you can bash your way through nearly anything with that mitt of yours."
    Bludgeon grinned. "Fuckin' A," he said.
    Mazzucchelli smiled around the toothpick and nodded. He slid into Croyd's seat.
    "You know who I am?" he asked.
    "Hell, yes," Bludgeon said, nodding. "You're the Man."
    "That I am. I guess you heard there's some trouble coming down, and I need some special kind of soldiers."
    "You need some fuckin' heads broke, I'm fuckin' good at it," Bludgeon told him.
    "That's nicely put," Mazzucchelli said, reaching inside his jacket. He removed an envelope and tossed it onto the tabletop. "Retainer."
    Bludgeon picked it up, tore it open, then counted the bills slowly, moving his lips. When he was finished, he said, "Fuckin' price is fuckin' right. Now what?"
    "There's an address in there too. You go to it eight o'clock tonight and get some orders. Okay?"
    Bludgeon put away the envelope and rose.
    "Damn straight," he agreed, reaching out and picking up the pitcher of beer, raising it, draining it, and belching. "Who's the other guy-the one back in the john?"
    "Shit, he's one of us," Bludgeon replied. "Name's Croyd Crenson. Bad man to fuck with, but he's got a great sense of humor."
    Mazzucchelli nodded. "Have a good day," he said. Bludgeon belched again, nodded back, waved his clubhand, and departed.
    Croyd hesitated only a moment on reentering the dining room and regarding Mazzucchelli in his seat. He advanced, raised two fingers in mock salute, and said, "I'm Croyd," as he drew near. "Are you the recruiter?"
    Mazzucchelli looked him up and looked him down, eyes dwelling for a moment on the large wet spot at the front of his trousers.
    "Something scare you?" he asked.
    "Yea, I saw the kitchen," Croyd replied. "You looking for talent?"
    "What kind of talent you got?"
    Croyd reached for a small lamp on a nearby table. He unscrewed the bulb and held it before him. Shortly it began to glow. Then it brightened, flared, and went out.
    "Oops," he observed. "Gave it a little too much juice."
    "For a buck and a half," Mazzucchelli stated, "I can buy a flashlight."
    "You got no imagination," Croyd said. "I can do some heavy stuff with burglar alarms, computers, telephones-not to mention anybody I shake hands with. But if you're not interested, I won't starve."
    He began to turn away.
    "Sit down, sit down!" Mazzucchelli said. "I heard you had a sense of humor. Sure, I like that stuff, and I think maybe I can use you in a certain matter. I need some good people in a hurry."
    "Something scare you?" Croyd asked, sliding into the seat recently vacated by