escape. He’s seen me. It can’t get any worse.
chapter seven
It gets worse.
Zee’s so tall he’s impossible to miss over the crowd of students roaming the hallways. It seems that the world slows down. His face changes when he spots me, and then every person around us stiffens, as if they sense a faceoff. Heads turn toward me and then back to Zee. The crowd parts slightly and my stomach pricks with another sharp shock of pain. Walking beside Zee is Alex’s sister, Chloe.
The blood in my veins freezes. I grab for Taylor and lean against her for strength.
“It’s okay,” she whispers into my ear. “You can do this, Sam.” I’m so happy she’s with me I’d give her my kidneys. Both of them.
Zee glances sideways at Chloe. He leans down and whispers something in her ear, and she lowers her eyes and nods.
I hold my breath. Waiting for her to look up. Yell something at me. Thrust black horrible words into the air and make me suffer. I wait for her vicious accusation. My heart thumps, and I feel like a boxer waiting for the first punch to be thrown. When our eyes finally meet, she blinks. The blink is slow and exaggerated. And then her gaze purposely moves past me as if she did not even see me standing there. Staring at her. She dismisses me.
Zee grabs Chloe’s hand and pulls her along. They pick up their pace. Zee drags her through the hall as if they’re pushing through water.
“Zee!” Taylor calls, but he ignores her.
In a few hurried steps, they’re gone. Nothing is said. No words are exchanged. They don’t even look at me again.
I am nothing.
As if a hole has been jabbed in me, my body deflates. Taylor’s cheeks redden, and she stares after them and grabs my arm, her fingernails digging into my flesh hard enough to leave half-moon imprints.
“They need time is all. Alex was like a brother to Zee. And Chloe, well, of course she’s messed up. But they know it wasn’t your fault, Sam. Deep down. They’ll come around.” She removes her fingers from my arm, and I press my lips tighter and nod as if I believe her.
Taylor clears her throat and glances down at her phone. “The bell is going to ring any second. You have advanced English, right?”
I nod. The class I’ve been dreading. Apparently for good reason.
“Shit. With Zee.” She glances down the hallway. “Screw it, I’m going the other way, but I’ll walk you to class.” She puts her arm around me and pulls me down the hallway, fending off onlookers with fierce stares. It feels like someone else is wearing my body, and my head is foggy and confused. I’ve never felt so grateful to someone for their support and so incapable of expressing my appreciation at the same time.
She walks me to the door of my class and gives my back a gentle push. “It’s okay,” she says quietly. “You’ve got to face it sometime, and it’s going to be okay.”
But it’s pretty apparent how his jury voted, and we both saw it. I’m as guilty as can be. With Taylor whispering support, I attempt a smile, mouth her a thanks , and take a deep breath as she jogs off.
I step inside the room. Kids are slumped in chairs, some texting, or sitting on top of desks. Almost everyone is chatting, but no one says a thing to me. They duck their heads if I accidentally catch their eye. A quick glance to the corner, and I see the teacher isn’t at his seat yet.
I slide into the first empty desk without looking around, thankful this teacher isn’t obsessed with assigned seating. There’s noise as someone takes the chair behind me.
The bell rings, and groans float up in the air.
“Hey, Sam,” a voice says.
Casper. I try to fake a smile but fail, so I just lift my hand and turn around, wondering why he’s being nice to me. The English teacher rushes into the classroom, his face still buried in his BlackBerry.
“Turn off your phones,” Mr. Duffield calls.
“Turn off yours,” someone calls back.
“Psst, Sam.”
My eyebrows push together, and I
chapter seven
It gets worse.
Zee’s so tall he’s impossible to miss over the crowd of students roaming the hallways. It seems that the world slows down. His face changes when he spots me, and then every person around us stiffens, as if they sense a faceoff. Heads turn toward me and then back to Zee. The crowd parts slightly and my stomach pricks with another sharp shock of pain. Walking beside Zee is Alex’s sister, Chloe.
The blood in my veins freezes. I grab for Taylor and lean against her for strength.
“It’s okay,” she whispers into my ear. “You can do this, Sam.” I’m so happy she’s with me I’d give her my kidneys. Both of them.
Zee glances sideways at Chloe. He leans down and whispers something in her ear, and she lowers her eyes and nods.
I hold my breath. Waiting for her to look up. Yell something at me. Thrust black horrible words into the air and make me suffer. I wait for her vicious accusation. My heart thumps, and I feel like a boxer waiting for the first punch to be thrown. When our eyes finally meet, she blinks. The blink is slow and exaggerated. And then her gaze purposely moves past me as if she did not even see me standing there. Staring at her. She dismisses me.
Zee grabs Chloe’s hand and pulls her along. They pick up their pace. Zee drags her through the hall as if they’re pushing through water.
“Zee!” Taylor calls, but he ignores her.
In a few hurried steps, they’re gone. Nothing is said. No words are exchanged. They don’t even look at me again.
I am nothing.
As if a hole has been jabbed in me, my body deflates. Taylor’s cheeks redden, and she stares after them and grabs my arm, her fingernails digging into my flesh hard enough to leave half-moon imprints.
“They need time is all. Alex was like a brother to Zee. And Chloe, well, of course she’s messed up. But they know it wasn’t your fault, Sam. Deep down. They’ll come around.” She removes her fingers from my arm, and I press my lips tighter and nod as if I believe her.
Taylor clears her throat and glances down at her phone. “The bell is going to ring any second. You have advanced English, right?”
I nod. The class I’ve been dreading. Apparently for good reason.
“Shit. With Zee.” She glances down the hallway. “Screw it, I’m going the other way, but I’ll walk you to class.” She puts her arm around me and pulls me down the hallway, fending off onlookers with fierce stares. It feels like someone else is wearing my body, and my head is foggy and confused. I’ve never felt so grateful to someone for their support and so incapable of expressing my appreciation at the same time.
She walks me to the door of my class and gives my back a gentle push. “It’s okay,” she says quietly. “You’ve got to face it sometime, and it’s going to be okay.”
But it’s pretty apparent how his jury voted, and we both saw it. I’m as guilty as can be. With Taylor whispering support, I attempt a smile, mouth her a thanks , and take a deep breath as she jogs off.
I step inside the room. Kids are slumped in chairs, some texting, or sitting on top of desks. Almost everyone is chatting, but no one says a thing to me. They duck their heads if I accidentally catch their eye. A quick glance to the corner, and I see the teacher isn’t at his seat yet.
I slide into the first empty desk without looking around, thankful this teacher isn’t obsessed with assigned seating. There’s noise as someone takes the chair behind me.
The bell rings, and groans float up in the air.
“Hey, Sam,” a voice says.
Casper. I try to fake a smile but fail, so I just lift my hand and turn around, wondering why he’s being nice to me. The English teacher rushes into the classroom, his face still buried in his BlackBerry.
“Turn off your phones,” Mr. Duffield calls.
“Turn off yours,” someone calls back.
“Psst, Sam.”
My eyebrows push together, and I
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