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Authors: Angela Christina Archer
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me?”
She grabbed my arm, twisted it, and jerked my body toward her. With my face close to hers, her eyes narrowed to slits and locked on to mine. Her body rigid in her stance like a stone statue, the only time she had not trembled from her age and her lips curled over her gritted teeth as she hissed. “He. Visited. You?”
I yanked my arm free from her grip and shook the pain away.
James’s gentle nod good bye, the last image of him before he slipped away in the darkness of last night, burned in my mind’s eye. His smile, even just a glimpsed recollection, sent my heart fluttering with a quickened pulse that caused my skin to crawl in a pleasant fashion. Feelings I buried deep down and forced to a forgotten state stirred in my blood.
“Tell me the truth,” Adalene demanded.
“Yes, he visited last night.”
Adalene drew in a deep breath and clutched her chest. “Mr. DeKane is betrothed to young Mary Pruett, thy sister-in-law.”
“He is not betrothed,” I barked at her. “And, she is not my sister-in-law, not anymore.”
“He is as good as, in Deacon Pruett’s eyes.”
“However, he is not in his own, his intentions do not lie with Mary, and he spoke such words to me, himself.”
“Do you not hold concern for the discord you face?”
Annoyance simmered through my veins. Certainly, through my enjoyment lurked the consequences for our actions. Unaccompanied by anyone, we toyed with sin. Our time together now tarnished, we should not hath done what we did. Playing with fire never proved noble nor lovely, eventually the fire burns you—such the same road we now traveled.
Desiring something or someone you should not brought a hard burden to bear. Eating away at thy convictions of proper and wrong—the moral compass you desired to sail by through thy life. Wishes, desires, needs, all shatter into pieces when not allowed liberty, and although I wanted to wage war for them, the confusion of whether I should overwhelmed me.
“I know the consequences of my actions. I do not need a lecture.”
“Do you love him?” she asked.
“Certainly, not.” My gaze into her eyes broke as I stepped away from her. My words were not the answer I wished to bestow, but ones I must use. While one night hardly whispered enough time to know of such feelings, the ache of desiring him pained me greatly.
Surely, to speak of love seemed foolish and young. Like that first love that sweeps you off thy feet in thy careless youth. Far from the girl I was with Joseph, the woman inside me knew better. One must reason before leaping into a rash choice in life.
No, I did not feel love, but I do feel something.
“What would I know of love?” I gestured.
“Thou played the role of wife once.”
“We married out of business not pleasure. A marriage designed more for acquiring land and securing profits than whole-hearted love.” My shoulders hunched as my lungs deflated. The hollow breath mirrored the chasm in my soul. “He wanted my father’s land, he never wanted me.”
“And, you believe thy feelings of Mr. DeKane are different?”
I gaped at her. “I never said such a thing.”
“You must deny thy feelings toward him. If you chose to not, you will only find misery and suffering.”
But, what if I found hope and love? What then?
Was I so undeserving of such happiness that I should forget about him, about it all?
Certainly, you are undeserving. Look how you sinned when offered a mere glimpse of hope, love, and happiness.
Not able to bear another word of this conversation, I plucked her pail from the ground and poured half of the collected milk into it before handing it to her.
“Is such all you desire today?”
Her eyes darted from the pail to me and back to the pail as she uncrossed her arms then lifted the handle from my fingertips. She groaned under her breath. A darkened annoyance swelled into her eyes, shadowing their blueness.
“Do not disregard my warning to continue thy life of sin. Thy actions bring
She grabbed my arm, twisted it, and jerked my body toward her. With my face close to hers, her eyes narrowed to slits and locked on to mine. Her body rigid in her stance like a stone statue, the only time she had not trembled from her age and her lips curled over her gritted teeth as she hissed. “He. Visited. You?”
I yanked my arm free from her grip and shook the pain away.
James’s gentle nod good bye, the last image of him before he slipped away in the darkness of last night, burned in my mind’s eye. His smile, even just a glimpsed recollection, sent my heart fluttering with a quickened pulse that caused my skin to crawl in a pleasant fashion. Feelings I buried deep down and forced to a forgotten state stirred in my blood.
“Tell me the truth,” Adalene demanded.
“Yes, he visited last night.”
Adalene drew in a deep breath and clutched her chest. “Mr. DeKane is betrothed to young Mary Pruett, thy sister-in-law.”
“He is not betrothed,” I barked at her. “And, she is not my sister-in-law, not anymore.”
“He is as good as, in Deacon Pruett’s eyes.”
“However, he is not in his own, his intentions do not lie with Mary, and he spoke such words to me, himself.”
“Do you not hold concern for the discord you face?”
Annoyance simmered through my veins. Certainly, through my enjoyment lurked the consequences for our actions. Unaccompanied by anyone, we toyed with sin. Our time together now tarnished, we should not hath done what we did. Playing with fire never proved noble nor lovely, eventually the fire burns you—such the same road we now traveled.
Desiring something or someone you should not brought a hard burden to bear. Eating away at thy convictions of proper and wrong—the moral compass you desired to sail by through thy life. Wishes, desires, needs, all shatter into pieces when not allowed liberty, and although I wanted to wage war for them, the confusion of whether I should overwhelmed me.
“I know the consequences of my actions. I do not need a lecture.”
“Do you love him?” she asked.
“Certainly, not.” My gaze into her eyes broke as I stepped away from her. My words were not the answer I wished to bestow, but ones I must use. While one night hardly whispered enough time to know of such feelings, the ache of desiring him pained me greatly.
Surely, to speak of love seemed foolish and young. Like that first love that sweeps you off thy feet in thy careless youth. Far from the girl I was with Joseph, the woman inside me knew better. One must reason before leaping into a rash choice in life.
No, I did not feel love, but I do feel something.
“What would I know of love?” I gestured.
“Thou played the role of wife once.”
“We married out of business not pleasure. A marriage designed more for acquiring land and securing profits than whole-hearted love.” My shoulders hunched as my lungs deflated. The hollow breath mirrored the chasm in my soul. “He wanted my father’s land, he never wanted me.”
“And, you believe thy feelings of Mr. DeKane are different?”
I gaped at her. “I never said such a thing.”
“You must deny thy feelings toward him. If you chose to not, you will only find misery and suffering.”
But, what if I found hope and love? What then?
Was I so undeserving of such happiness that I should forget about him, about it all?
Certainly, you are undeserving. Look how you sinned when offered a mere glimpse of hope, love, and happiness.
Not able to bear another word of this conversation, I plucked her pail from the ground and poured half of the collected milk into it before handing it to her.
“Is such all you desire today?”
Her eyes darted from the pail to me and back to the pail as she uncrossed her arms then lifted the handle from my fingertips. She groaned under her breath. A darkened annoyance swelled into her eyes, shadowing their blueness.
“Do not disregard my warning to continue thy life of sin. Thy actions bring
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