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unpredictable.”
    “Is that such a bad thing?” Jill asked. “I know you like things to be varied so you don’t get bored.”
    “No, it’s not that—I love how my days are split up into different tasks that require various skills. Managing people, being Sally’s voice on social media, for example—”
    “True!” she interrupted excitedly. “And you’re so good at that! Channeling someone perfectly—like playing a role without auditioning, not being the wrong shape or size, and it’s steady work!”
    “But,” I continued, appreciating her optimism, “there’s something about the actual work atmosphere that I’m uneasy about. Uncomfortable with, maybe. And I need this job, you know I do, but there’s this layer of drama that’s just there. Every day. And it’s totally unnecessary.”
    “Well, it’s a lot of women in one space. Could it be that?” Jill asked.
    “Maybe,” I replied. “I should have gone into banking. Why don’t people tell you to think about the male/female workplace ratio when deciding on a career? Acting and then makeup? I’m an idiot.”
    “An idiot with really great products.”
    “But seriously, everyone at work seems bitter. Or dissatisfied with something. I don’t really have anything to compare that to in my career, but is that normal?”
    “Well, is it a food thing, like the girls need to eat, or do you think it’s more like they need to make more money?”
    “I’m sure we all need to make more money, and I don’t want to turn into one of the disgruntled cast, but I have this weird feeling that I’m not going to get that ‘it’ girl growth that Sally promised. It’s just a hunch, but things don’t always work the way you’re told they will.”
    “You’re still kind of new, though, so maybe it will change and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
    “I really hope so,” I said wistfully. “But I’m determined to give this company at least a year. I’m still really excited I have this, but more than that, I need the consistency on my résumé, I need the money, I like feeling like I’m good at something, responsibility is empowering, and I can’t fail at this, too, so I’m really in it,” I resolved.
    “Remember in college when you were in the play A Shayna Maidel ?”
    “Of course—best pin curls ever.”
    “And you got the reputation from it for being such an amazing character explorer—we all wanted to know what you did to find Hanna that made her the most memorable character in the entire show.”
    “A: thank you. And B: I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”
    “Do it again, Alison. But find you. Explore Alison Kraft like she’s the lead in the main-stage play. The role everyone auditioned for and you got chosen for. Use this time, reflect, and make it work for you and your self-discovery.”
    Wow.
    “You’re brilliant, roomie. I love you so much. Thank you.”
    And she was right—it was about finding me. A full year of committing to the process of my own self-discovery. Well, eight or nine months. I can do it.
    As I went to bed that night, I thought about our discussion and realized the one thing I hadn’t mentioned to Jill: Sally’s increasingly mean, nasty, spiteful side. Of course, Jill had heard random stories as they’d happened, but I was almost scared to tell her how often Sally lashed out. I would put money down that I hadn’t seen the worst of it yet. Could that be why I had started to see clumps of hair in the shower drain every morning? I would figure it out.

CHAPTER EIGHT

    Use Only As Directed and Keep Out of the Reach of Children
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Subject: urgent
    Please call me as soon as you get in to set up meeting. Than you can get on with ur day Sally
    It irked me, probably more than it should have, that Sally always used the word “than” instead of “then” and didn’t know that they were two different words. “Then” versus “than” was Grammar 101,