What If... All Your Friends Turned On You

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Authors: Liz Ruckdeschel
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should take a five-minute chill, send her home, ON THE SCALE .

POLITICAL PREP
    Politics makes strange bedfellows, but it makes even weirder friends with benefits.
    H aley arrived at Alex’s house ready to do whatever she could to help him get ready for the big inaugural ball; still, she wasn’t expecting flash cards.
    They took their coffee into the den, ready to work, and Alex handed her a big stack of photos—portraits of prominent people, with their names and notes about their political tastes and affiliations on the back. It was Haley’s job to hold up the photos one at a time and quiz Alex on the details.
    She flashed him a picture of a wrinkled, white-haired old man with a bow tie and cane.
    â€œEli Morgenstern,” Alex said. “Republican, retired head of Morgenstern Investments …”
    â€œWife?” Haley prompted.
    â€œDiana Rieff Morgenstern, on the board of the Philharmonic and the Museum of Modern Art, secret Democrat.”
    â€œGood.” An important part of Alex’s job was helping Mrs. Eton work the crowd at the ball, and to remember who was who in case she forgot a name or something important about a particular guest’s background. Haley held up another photo, this one showing an elegant, thirtyish woman in a chignon and pearls.
    â€œCarrie Sargent, a public relations executive …”
    â€œWhere?” Haley asked.
    â€œHolland Associates?” Alex guessed.
    â€œRight. Anything else about her?”
    â€œHmm, Sargent … Oh! Her father’s head of the public TV station in the city.”
    â€œAnd?”
    â€œAnd … her sister is a lawyer in the state’s attorney general’s office. The sister’s name is … Martha Sargent Koppel.”
    â€œAnd?”
    â€œAnd Carrie and Martha like to ride horses in Central Park.”
    â€œExcellent.” Haley put the stack of picturesdown, having run through all of them twice. “You’re in pretty good shape on guest trivia. What’s next?”
    â€œTomorrow I’m confirming all the live music for inauguration day. What do you think of this lineup? The New Jersey Brass Orchestra for the ceremony itself, the Montclair String Quartet for the post -ceremony reception. Then, for the ball, the Joe Henderson Sextet during cocktails and dinner, Monty Mason’s Swing Band for dancing—featuring Helen Taymor, this cabaret singer Mrs. Eton loves—followed by the Jazzcats for the wind-down. I tried to book Springsteen, but he said no.”
    â€œHe’s a famous Dem,” Haley said.
    Alex shrugged. “I had to give it a shot. This is Jersey, after all.”
    Haley laughed. “That sounds perfect—something for everyone except the punks and the rappers, who, come to think of it, probably won’t be in attendance. Now what’s this?” She pointed to a large sheet of paper diagrammed with numbered circles.
    â€œUgh, the seating chart,” Alex said. “It’s like a logic problem on the LSATs—impossible. Mrs. Eton wants to match charity heads with deep pockets, and sprinkle some local celebs generously throughout so that no one feels left out, and at the same time make sure no mortal enemies are seated together, near each other or in each other’s sight lines across the crowded room.”
    â€œSounds like fun,” Haley said. “Let’s get towork.” She picked up the guest list and started studying it. To her surprise, she recognized a lot of the names on it. Her mother had worked with a lot of the politicians, lawyers and businesspeople on the list, and her filmmaker father knew some of the local artists and arts administrators. Haley had absorbed information about these people by osmosis, just by sitting at the dinner table with her parents. She never realized how much she’d picked up from their conversations.
    â€œMort Jarvis thinks of himself as a philanthropist.” Alex pointed to a

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