Yiayia. "Brownies! I hide the good stuff like pureed spinach!"
Nick's neck reddens. He's embarrassed, either because his yiayia has to trick him into eating his vegetables or because he can't take a toke like a man—I'm not sure which. Ling Ling seems turned off by the whole half-baked scenario. But this makes me more curious about who Nick really is. After the way he stopped, dropped, and rolled for me under the parachute, he's obviously no burnout. No wheezing invalid either. Hidden pot, closeted asthma, girlfriend on the sly—none of this makes sense.
I look to Nick, and there are those eyes: steady, perfect ovals. Again, I'm lost in their darkness. I have no sense of how much time is passing. A clock ticks on the wall. A bell rings for next period. Then, his invisible hand grips my wrist. Before he blinks and breaks our bond, I get the message: I am surrounded by lies.
The principal says, "Your grandson must have an inhaler."
Yiayia mutters, "This is no good."
"Mr. and Mrs…"
"Poulikakos !"
"Madam." Principal Sheldon looks her in the eyes. "What you do in the privacy of your own home is not my concern. Western…Grecian…ancient medicine—that's up to you. But when a student brings marijuana into my school and shares it with my students, we have a problem."
Papou says, "You will never again have this problem from Nick."
"Sir, I want to believe you."
"Believe him," says Yiayia. "It is best that you do. You expose Nico mou, your Purser-Lilley parents will do away with right to privacy as they did with team sports. There will be security guards, random searches to conduct, the testing of urine. Consider your future, sir. The rest of your school life riddled with interruptions. All because of a little oregano."
* **
Nick got let off with a warning and a week's detention.
Ling Ling got two.
Dr. Lebowitz protested until she learned that her daughter had gotten time for both drug possession and masterminding a P.E. black market. Like any good mastermind, Ling Ling didn't name names, and the principal didn't press her. If he had, half the boys at Purser-Lilley would get detention. When Ling Ling's hall locker was raided, Principal Sheldon confiscated Dr. Lebowitz's prescription pad, last year's sophomore trig and biology final exams, three bags of Haribo gummy twin cherries, and an IOU from Ben Strong for a C-note.
Me, I got a lecture. Before I opened my mouth to defend myself, the principal copped a plea for me. If it hadn't been for my killer curiosity, he would never have known about what was going on right under his nose.
chapter eight
Kathryn Ann holds court at the head of three tables-for-two shoved together at Pizzeria Uno. She, the twins, my parents, my sister, and I are finishing our unlimited soup for supper and reliving how the Purser-Lilley debate team destroyed the Nightingale girls. My visit to the principal's office wears heavy on my parents' faces, but they are giving Octavia her moment of glory. During the debate, she brought one of her opponents to tears. Ben Strong, normally a fact-gatherer not a verbal assailant, reduced another girl to running off the stage as her rebuttal. Instant disqualification! My sister was impressed—but not as impressed as Kathryn Ann is with me.
She drawls, "Mary, hon, you are a star. If more people got involved with bustin' drugs, this country would be a safer place."
If you've watched Chime In with Kathryn Ann, you know she blames drugs for all of society's ills. According to her, if people didn't do drugs, they wouldn't be poor. There wouldn't be birth defects. The murder rate, which to her includes vehicular manslaughter, would plummet. Drugs lead to stealing, and stealing leads to bullets and knives. Drugs are depressants, and depressed people rape. Kathryn Ann is a teetotaler. I've never seen her so much as dip a fork into a pot of white wine-laden cheese fondue.
She says, "Who's Mama's
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